Chapter 83

“Seriously, what did I even do?”

All I did was roast and munch on skewered Yoshicho by the cozy fireplace all day.

I let out a sigh and looked around. At last, it was just El and me. The place that had been buzzing with people all day had finally quieted down.

As I became aware of that, the tension drained from my shoulders, and a sudden yawn bubbled up.

‘I really must be getting worn out these days.’

I haven’t worked this much since becoming Minuelle… except for that one time I pulled an all-nighter for a week weaving a tapestry as a gift for Esadien.

“Did he throw that out, I wonder.”

I mumbled without meaning to, then ruffled my hair in frustration.

“Ugh, why do I keep thinking about it!”

It was probably because of Clidane. Seeing someone who resembled him once stirred up more than thinking of him a hundred times.

“Grreow?”

Just as I was being sucked into thoughts of Esadien again, El’s voice snapped me back to reality.

“Again?! I’m going crazy!”

He tilted his head, clearly not understanding why I was suddenly lamenting, and nudged me toward the dressing room as if telling me to hurry up and change into my pajamas.

I was pushed helplessly by his strength and muttered in resignation.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just sleep. Sleep fixes everything…”

Hoping that sleep would wash it all away, I put on my long, thick pajamas and came back out to find El stretched out beside my bed, waiting.

‘He used to just climb up and roll around ahead of me.’

But now, even long after I had gotten into bed, he didn’t make a move.

“Sigh.”

And yet, that bothered me.

He’d grown big enough to carry me on his back, but I still couldn’t forget when he was no bigger than my forearm, when he couldn’t even jump off the table properly and would bump into the ground headfirst.

After some hesitation, I rolled to the side of the bed and lowered one hand. El, still awake, rubbed his head against my palm immediately.

“El, wanna come up?”

“……”

He froze.

So I stroked his forehead gently, without rushing him.

After a moment, El slowly lifted his body and placed his chin on the edge of the bed.

‘Are you sure I can?’

His big, round eyes trembled as they stared at me like he was asking.

And at that moment, I was sure. I was just being overly sensitive. Projecting human feelings onto an animal.

“It’s okay.”

I smiled as gently as I could and gestured for him to come up. El, still hesitant, slowly climbed onto the bed and lay down beside me.

“I’m sorry, El.”

I apologized, petting the soft fur on his belly. They say felines don’t like having their bellies touched, but El didn’t mind at all. Even when I rubbed his large, black jelly beans, he just purred softly with his eyes closed.

Soon I got bolder and began pressing down on his paw pads with both hands. They felt firm yet squishy if I pressed hard enough—an addicting sensation.

After a while of fiddling, pressing a certain spot made one hidden claw pop out.

“Whoa. That’s sharp…”

I gently touched the sharp claw, like a tiny sickle, and El pulled his paw away, licking my forehead like he was telling me to stop and go to sleep.

I couldn’t help but giggle. El licked me a few more times and then laid his paw over me like he was hugging me.

It was honestly kind of heavy, but comforting at the same time. Had it even been a hundred days since we met? We hadn’t been together long, but just having him nearby warmed my heart.

My already tired body melted into El’s warmth, and I accepted sleep. As I yawned, I murmured like a dream.

“Good night, El…”

My blurry eyes finally closed. And just before I fell completely asleep, a familiar, cool scent brushed past my nose—but I couldn’t bring myself to care or recognize it.

“Minuelle.”

A low voice accompanied the shaking of my shoulder.

I was sleeping so soundly, of course I didn’t answer kindly. I scowled and snapped.

“Ugh, what?!”

“Minuelle.”

But the voice wouldn’t stop. I flailed my arms with my eyes tightly shut, but as soon as I stopped, it started shaking me again.

“……”

Whoever this is, they’re going to pay.

Grinding my teeth, I finally sat up—and right in front of me stood—

“Minuelle…”

Esadien, disheveled hair and all, wearing nothing but a shirt.

“Wh-What?!”

I didn’t even think. Reflexively, I shoved him away. He tumbled back far too easily, but I was too freaked out to care and bolted.

But my legs moved like they were underwater, and every corner I turned brought another Esadien.

“Minuelle.”

“Minuelle!”

Laughing Esadien, crying Esadien, expressionless Esadien… A horde of Esadiens chased after me, and only then did I realize—I was dreaming.

‘That’s why I was so slow.’

And at that moment, the ground dropped out beneath me, and the swarm of Esadiens pounced.

“Damn it! Move!”

They were so heavy.

But they didn’t seem to hear me—just kept repeating themselves.

“I love you.”

“I won’t call off the engagement.”

“I missed you.”

“Minuelle.”

‘Are you robots or something?!’

I was suffocating. Desperate, I screamed from the pit of my stomach.

“Get lost!”

And just like that, they all froze.

“W-What…”

A chill ran down my spine, but that wasn’t the end of the strangeness.

Three seconds later, all the Esadiens on top of me exploded.

“…Esadien!!”

No sound, just a shower of glittering light like the gems that shone in his hair under the sun.

It was a horrifyingly beautiful sight, but I screamed like I was drenched in blood and woke up.

“AAAH!”

Even El jumped up in alarm, and seconds later, the door burst open and Dane rushed in.

“My lady!”

He must’ve grabbed his sword and bolted without even dressing properly—he was shirtless. His muscles were…

Wait, not the point!

I glanced at the shaking door handle and wiped the cold sweat from my forehead.

“Sorry. It’s nothing… just a nightmare.”

“If that’s all, I’m relieved. I’ll be going then.”

Clidane didn’t show a hint of blame. He bowed respectfully and left, making me feel even more awkward.

Once he was completely gone, I buried my face in my hands.

“Why did I just run away like that, stupid Minuelle.”

I should’ve told him to return to the capital, wherever he was.

I knew dreams weren’t reality. I knew saying something in a dream wouldn’t reach Esadien.

But still, I couldn’t help but feel regret.

El let out a low purr, as if to comfort me.

“Grreow.”

But the sound… sounded just like the voice from the dream. I flinched and slowly pulled my hands from my face.

“Esa…”

But of course, it was just El sitting calmly with his paws together.

“Whew…”

Guess I was more tense than I realized. I exhaled. Under the moonlight, faint jewel-like shimmer danced around El’s eyes.

‘…Huh?’

I rubbed my eyes, but it was just my imagination. Only El’s turquoise, ocean-like eyes glimmered.

And yet—

‘I wanted to become a man you could love.’

Why did that line pop into my head now?

“No way, El…?”

Why was I even asking him?

My voice trembled, but El just lay back down and sighed peacefully.

“Did… did he fall asleep?”

I was definitely losing it. A human turning into an animal? Impossible.

“Yeah… no way. I already decided I was being too sensitive.”

Besides, if it were really Esadien, I’d know. Even if, by some impossible one-in-a-million chance, he had turned into an animal… he wouldn’t be able to hide his feelings.

Not him.

‘I love you.’

“Ah.”

Suddenly my nape burned and my heart sank. I clutched my chest with a groan.

“Why… do I keep thinking about him.”

I thought it would be easier to forget once he was out of sight. I prided myself on never looking back once I turned away.

So why was he the only one I couldn’t erase?

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find the reason.

“El…”

Like I was running away, I buried my face into El’s soft fur and squeezed my eyes shut.

‘Theo said he received an order to search for Esadien and is returning to Roquate.’

Maybe I was just more on edge because of the unrest in the capital and Esadien’s disappearance. I resolved to fully cooperate with Theodore when he arrived, and forced myself to chase down sleep again.

You want to know what a pampered jobless girl like me has been so busy with lately?

Bringing our family’s knights into Roquate, that’s what.

Not to guard our family or the mansion, but to act as backup in case something happens in the capital—soldiers ready to secure the emperor and crown princess.

The problem was that mobilizing too many at once could look like a rebellion in the making.

Especially since I was already at odds with the second prince, Austin. Even though he had retreated from the Karnian stronghold, I was certain he still kept an eye on us.

‘A thoroughly useless man.’

I clicked my tongue in irritation.

I took on this job partly because my sisters were busy, but mostly because of Austin.

Thinking back, every disruption to my peaceful life stemmed from him.

‘This time, I’ll get my revenge.’

Grinding my teeth, I disguised the knights’ identities as merchants or travelers and brought them into Roquate. For those whose identities couldn’t be masked, I gave them alternate reasons and brought them in little by little.

It was like walking a tightrope between two bridges with nothing but a string for support—but for now, everything was going smoothly. The forces from Karnian and other estates were arriving one by one.

So far.

“Today’s lunch is a special delivery from Caduren, my lady.”

The moment I sat down, looking forward to lunch, the butler’s words made my shoulders stiffen.

“C-Caduren?”

Wasn’t that the little town I’d visited with Esadien?

Then—

‘Could it be? The meat and cheese sandwich?’