Chapter 51

“Love.”

Esadien mouthed the word to himself like a vow.

He swore he would confess—on his knees, properly. Just as Minuelle had bared her heart completely to him, he would show her all of his in return.

But a confession still felt impossibly far off.

He couldn’t even catch a glimpse of a single strand of Minuelle’s hair. The gates of the Karnian duchy were firmly shut, refusing to open for him.

“Didn’t they say the gates of Karnian would always remain open?”

After spending a full day standing in front of those gates, Esadien was finally met by the Duchess’s husband—whose face, so eerily similar to Minuelle’s, was cold as ice as he said: “That was when Minuelle’s heart was open to Your Highness.”

Even when Esadien managed to meet her thanks to the Crown Princess’ help, the obstacles remained.

He had promised himself he would reveal all of his feelings—but a lifetime spent suppressing his emotions made it unbearably difficult to express them.

The parts that didn’t need to be seen flared up too intensely, while the things that mattered most stayed hidden—so much so that Minuelle ended up thinking he’d gone mad.

Even after managing to explain that wasn’t the case, even after the mood between them softened as he helped her, the words “I love you” remained stuck like a cork sealing a bottle, refusing to come out.

With every failure, he began to hate himself more.

He wanted—desperately—to be the person Minuelle wanted, and yet all he heard in return was the sting of her calling him a pretender.

“What am I supposed to do…”

The feeling of being completely alone in the world—it had been a long time since he’d felt this way.

Minuelle had told him this too would pass, but deep down, Esadien knew otherwise.

A love that had already been engraved into his very being—would never fade.

It was a desperate kind of emotion. One that couldn’t be replaced by any other affection, even if he withered and died trying.

* * *

Due to the avalanche that had occurred in the northern border mountains, monsters had begun their activity earlier than usual this year.  

My mother and Sister Elga decided to return to the territory first to lead the knights, while my father would wrap up some remaining matters and then travel together with Ramande and me.  

Before she left, Mother gave me one request.  

“My old friend, the Marchioness of Deone, is hosting a tea party to celebrate the birth of her granddaughter.”  

She asked me to attend in her stead and deliver a gift.  

I gladly accepted. Since Sister Juela was too busy, it was only natural that I go.  

The tea party I attended on Mother’s behalf was remarkably serene. It had the air of an elegant gathering of noblewomen—refined and calm.  

Moreover, since the Marchioness was Mother’s friend, everyone treated me warmly, allowing me to enjoy the time with ease.  

“They say Viscountess Celeste hanged herself in prison.”  

“Oh my, I heard she took poison.”  

“Her sons have each taken over one of the family businesses. Seems like they intend to run them separately.”  

“I wonder if that was a wise choice. I’m planning to withdraw my investment soon.”  

The hushed conversation at a neighboring table caught my attention as I quietly sipped my tea.  

‘The Viscountess died suddenly? What in the world is going on?’ 

And in prison, no less.  

I thought of Lapheche, who had come at me so brazenly. Had her standing within the family crumbled after her adoptive father was imprisoned?  

But any thoughts of Lapheche were quickly swept away the moment the Marchioness’s granddaughter was brought in.  

Wearing an adorable baby dress and bonnet, her tiny hands clenched into little fists, lips puckering softly—she looked nothing short of an angel.  

“She’s so beautiful…”  

I was so moved, I gave a little shiver, drawing elegant laughter from the noblewomen around me.  

“The Grand Duchess must be eager for such a lovely grandchild to arrive soon as well.”  

“We hope the Young Duchess finds a good match soon.”  

“Th-thank you.”  

I offered a sheepish smile in response to their well-wishes, just as a butler entered and leaned in to whisper something to the Marchioness.  

The glance she cast my way as she listened held a flicker of surprise.  

Still, being a seasoned lady of status, she quickly recovered and addressed the guests with graceful brevity.  

“It appears we have the honor of receiving a special guest, here to visit my granddaughter.”  

A special guest?  

For someone to appear in the middle of a tea party without an invitation—it wasn’t any different from barging in.  

A ripple of murmurs spread through what had been a warm and tranquil atmosphere.

“What an outrage… Who could it possibly be?”

Thankfully, the noblewomen’s curiosity didn’t last long. The culprit revealed himself almost immediately.

“…Oh my.”

While my mouth hung wide open, the noblewomen quickly composed themselves and greeted the intruder.

“We greet Your Highness the Prince.”

“…We greet you.”

I quickly rose to my feet and bowed my head as well.

Contrary to expectations, Esadien behaved quite civilly. He handed over a gift to the Marchioness and followed her lead without protest.

The Marchioness, considerate of me, seated him at a table in the back—out of my line of sight.

‘Ignore him. Just ignore him. If I acknowledge him, I lose.’

Just like last time, I thought if I gave it my all, I might actually be able to ignore him…

…That is, until I felt his disturbingly intense stare practically drilling into the back of my head.

‘Ignore it… I have to ignore it…’

But my attention kept drifting behind me.

Even without looking, I could picture it clearly—him standing out in a dark suit among the pastel-colored noblewomen, taller than anyone else, his head sticking out like a sore thumb.

More troubling than his stare, however, was the way the Marchioness and the others subtly shifted their focus from the baby to us, as though anticipating what would unfold between him and me.

‘If I stay here, I’ll only be more of a nuisance.’

I fought the urge to wash my face with cold water and politely asked the Marchioness for my leave.

“I think I’ll take my leave now. I deeply apologize for disturbing the mood.”

“This wasn’t the young Lady’s fault. Do give him a proper lesson.”

A… lesson? I gave her a vague smile. Who knew what kind of rumors had spread among the noblewomen about us?

Despite my flustered state, I was grateful for her consideration and left the room. Sure enough, it wasn’t long before I could feel Esadien following me out.

I had expected it, but my stomach still churned with frustration, and I hurriedly uncorked a potion and gulped it down.

I wasn’t just angry at Esadien. I was angry at myself.

Things had come to this point—let’s be honest—because I let myself waver. I kept pushing him away and turning my back, only to glance over my shoulder again.

“Seems like you’re getting close with the Prince again.”

Even Ramande had said it. No wonder.

This couldn’t continue. I should’ve done what my father had—cut things off completely from the start.

I spun around and glared at Esadien, who had followed me all the way to the carriage.

“Let’s talk.”

His face, which had been somber, lit up instantly. Like a child, he nodded enthusiastically and asked, “To the prince’s palace?”

“Anywhere’s fine. Somewhere with no people.”

Because today, I might really say something awful.

‘If I’m going to yell, I’d rather do it where no one can hear.’

Letting out a short sigh, I steeled myself. Esadien reached out his hand to escort me, but I grabbed the hem of my dress and swiftly turned away.

* * *

The Prince’s Palace, which I hadn’t visited in a long time, had changed yet again.  

The familiar furniture had returned, and the attendants had once more been replaced by strangers.  

But…  

‘Ugh. That sweet smell.’ 

My expression hardened as soon as I saw the table piled high with desserts.  

Whether he noticed or not, Esadien still wore a hopeful look as he gestured for me to sit, casually trying to sit beside me.  

“Let’s sit over there instead.”  

Only then did he look a little deflated as he took the seat across from me and finally opened his mouth.  

“I heard you’re going north, Minuelle.”  

“Where did you—”  

I stopped myself. What was the point in asking? I already knew the answer.  

‘Theodore!’  

That traitor. Not long ago, both Theodore and René were scheduled to leave Roquate around the same time, so we’d shared a meal together.  

I only mentioned it once—once!—and he immediately told Esadien?

“I’ll go with you. As your sword and protector.”  

What in the world was he talking about now? This Prince was likely entangled with the Cult of Fire himself.  

“Do you really think that makes any sense, when we’ve broken off our engagement? Besides, I trust my family’s knights. I don’t need any other sword.”  

“We haven’t broken off our engagement, Minuelle.”  

Only because you keep refusing to accept it.

“Well, perfect. Since we’re on the subject, let’s stop dragging this out. We’re ending this today.”  

“Minuelle.”  

“Excuse me, Your Highness. But we are no longer on a first-name basis. That was unpleasant. Kindly refrain from doing that again.”

“So long as we’re not broken off… you are mine.”  

His voice trembled, as though barely holding something back.  

But we were just too different.  

You can’t force someone to change just because you like how they look.  

It was only after I resolved to end our engagement that I realized such a simple truth.  

Thinking back on all the times I patiently explained myself only to be ignored—rage boiled up again.  

“Ugh, seriously!”  

I slammed the table, making the dessert plates clatter.  

“Call it off already! I don’t want to marry someone like you—I don’t even want to sit across from you right now! Break off the engagement! Break it off! Now!”  

“I refuse.”  

He didn’t raise his voice, but Esadien was just as firm.  

Yet, as he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers trembled ever so slightly.  

That gap between his calm words and shaking hands only made me angrier.  

‘My blood pressure…’

“I already told Her Highness the Crown Princess what happened.”  

“You told her?”  

“Yes. I told her you were still facing assassinations.”  

It was supposed to remain a secret.  

I thought he’d be furious. That it would finally push him away for good.  

But his reaction was nothing like I expected.  

“You… really worried about me.”  

‘WHY is he touched by that?!’  

I let out a breath of disbelief and snapped, “I wasn’t. Just let go of me already. You were just using our house as a shield anyway.”  

“That’s not it.”  

“Then what is it?!”  

……  

After running his mouth endlessly, Esadien suddenly averted his gaze.  

‘Oh, my blood pressure.’

I massaged the back of my neck and closed my eyes.  

‘Inner peace… inner peace…’  

When I finally opened them again, Esadien’s face was much closer than I’d expected.  

A masterpiece born of Plendena’s divine craftsmanship.  

A face so beautiful, it deserved every bit of praise it received—so much so that I froze for a second.  

Then those perfectly shaped lips parted to drop a bomb.  

“I like you.”  

…Excuse me?  

“I love you. I realized it too late, but it’s true.”

I was stunned into silence.  

Words I had once longed to hear—now, the shock left me speechless.  

But Esadien, as if he’d finally broken through a dam, kept pouring it all out.