Chapter 39

Though it was all a bit vague, I trusted that the High Priest wouldn’t say something meaningless—so I returned home and immediately attempted to “speak with my inner self.”

But…

‘Young lady, sleeping in a place like this will make your body ache.’

Every single time I tried to meditate…

‘Our little one, with big sister… oh my.’

…I fell asleep!

“Yaaawn.”

After repeating this cycle several times, I had no choice but to give up on meditation. I was starting to feel like Ramande and my sisters were looking at me like I was a sick hen.

“It’s just that lying down and relaxing every part of my body makes me sleepy, that’s all…”

Sigh. Honestly.

On top of that, finding information on fire spirits through books was a dead end. I practically lived in the library for days, combing through every kind of text imaginable, but all the descriptions of spirits were the same cookie-cutter nonsense.

They sealed themselves away because of their immense power, and whenever they manifested, natural disasters occurred… blah blah blah.

At best, the detailed parts only described the catastrophes that happened when spirits awoke and were active.

“What, were they all collectively suffering from some kind of magical puberty? So earthquakes happen not because of tectonic shifts or magma, but because the Earth Spirit threw a tantrum?”

I sighed heavily—as if I were the earth spirit myself—scratched my roughly tied-up hair, and stepped out of the library.

I hadn’t even washed my face, let alone wiped the sleep from my eyes, since waking up that morning. I figured it was time to start acting like a human being again.

As I headed back to my room, I mentally listed other places where I might be able to dig up information on spirits.

“The Imperial library or the academy’s archive… or maybe even our own domain’s library might be worth checking.”

The academy I could probably find a way into somehow, but the Imperial palace was still a bit awkward for me right now.

“Our duchy’s archive is probably the best bet. Since we’re in charge of fire, they might actually have relevant material…”

Muttering to myself, I was organizing my thoughts as I walked along the second-floor corridor overlooking the entrance hall—when suddenly:

“This is inappropriate!”

“Your Highness!”

Your… Highness?

That was not a word you normally heard in our house. I froze and looked down over the railing.

‘Gasp. That really is Esadien?’

The knights and servants were flustered, unable to physically stop him, even as he marched through the house without a care. Then, my father appeared—cool as ever.

“I greet the Third Prince.”

He bowed formally, but the words that followed were far from polite.

“I believe we, the Karnian family, made our stance very clear during your last visit.”

Just a few days ago, my parents had told me the official letter of annulment had been sent to the Imperial family.

It seemed Esadien had come by after that and was sent away without my knowledge.

“This time, I only came to deliver a letter from the Crown Princess.”

“A letter, you say. Please give it to me—I’ll see that it reaches the Grand Duchess.”

“Not to the Grand Duchess.”

Suddenly, Esadien looked up. His piercing blue gaze shot directly toward me—where I stood, hand on the railing, watching from above.

‘How the heck did he know I was up here?’

I almost flinched in surprise, but what he said next made me freeze in place.

“To you, Minuelle. The letter is for you.”

The Crown Princess… sent a letter to me?

She was Elga’s friend and had always been kind to me, sure—but we’d never corresponded directly, not even once.

I racked my brain as I slowly descended the stairs, trying to figure out what this was about.

‘And of course he shows up when I look like a mess. Honestly, does he pick these moments on purpose?’

Even worse than getting a “Hey, you up?” text is someone showing up at your door with a “Come outside, I’m here.”

Hiding my annoyance, I gave Esadien a polite curtsy, then carefully broke the seal on the envelope.

[Come see me immediately. The less noticeable, the better.]

…There was no purpose written on the letter.

Reflexively, I turned to look at my father, but his expression was just as puzzled.

“It’s a request from Her Highness the Crown Princess. I’m sure she has her reasons.”

That was his way of telling me to go and see what this was about.

“Then I’ll freshen up quickly and be right out. Please prepare a carriage without any crests, Daddy.”

But before Father could call for a servant, Esadien interjected.

“You don’t need to. I came in a small, unmarked carriage. We can use that.”

‘What do you mean, I don’t need to?’

I hadn’t even washed, and now I was supposed to ride alone with my ex-fiancé—who I thought I’d never have to see again—in the same carriage?

As I slowly scrunched up my nose in distaste, Father hurriedly stepped in to mediate.

“It’s improper for my daughter, who has just come of age, to go out alone with a gentleman with whom she shares no relation.”

“No relation…?”

Esadien rolled those words around in his mouth as he looked at me—his eyes like those of a lost child.

Once upon a time, I might have held his hand and comforted him.  

But not now.  

Now, I turned my back to him as sharply as if slicing the air, planning to at least change my clothes and throw on a hat while they bickered.

But even that—he wouldn’t allow.

“I never accepted that annulment letter.”

“…What?”

Shocked, I whipped around, while Father narrowed his eyes and let an icy aura spread through the air.

But Esadien stood firm.

“Which means you are still my fiancée, Minuelle.”

‘Is this man… out of his mind?’

* * *

I glared at Esadien. He remained unfazed, but with the Crown Princess waiting, we couldn’t keep confronting each other forever.

In the end, we both compromised a little. I changed into modest clothes and got into the carriage with Esadien. Since our engagement was still technically intact, I had no excuse to refuse.

If only this weren’t a two-seater carriage—if Ramande had been here, I could’ve used my health as an excuse to ride separately.

“Of all times, he had to be dispatched to oversee the knights’ training.’

“Have you been well?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, but I have a headache, so I won’t be able to make conversation.”

Though I firmly cut him off, Esadien kept trying to speak to me. I acted as if I couldn’t hear and kept staring out the window.

Eventually, he gave up. For a while, the only sounds were the clopping of hooves and the rumbling of wheels.

Then the carriage stopped at a small entrance I had never seen before in the Imperial palace.

“Minuelle.”

Esadien had stepped down first and offered his hand.

Of course, I pretended not to see it and got off alone, then greeted the Crown Princess who was waiting.

“I greet Your Highness.”

“Happy coming-of-age, Minuelle.”

It seemed we had arrived at the Crown Princess’ private hunting grounds. Unlike the densely wooded area farther off, this part had been cleared out to an almost barren degree.

The moment I saw the lone barracks standing in the middle, I realized—

‘She called me here for something personal.’

It was probably about Esadien. That would explain the secrecy.

The Crown Princess led me toward the barracks, and when Esadien tried to follow us inside, she frowned.

“Why are you coming in too?”

“Sister.”

“This is a private conversation. Leave.”

“……”

Esadien met my eyes instead of replying.

‘Why does he look so mournful all alone?’

That strangely clinging gaze had been bothering me for a while. I turned my head naturally and took the seat the Crown Princess had pulled out for me.

After a pause, I heard Esadien finally turn and leave, and only then did the Crown Princess sit down across from me with a sigh and a mutter.

“Seriously, that boy has no sense.”

She was trying to lighten the mood.

I didn’t want to embarrass the Crown Princess, so I smiled politely.

“You must’ve had a hard time because of that slow-witted boy.”

“It’s nothing, Your Highness.”

“I’ve heard some of the story. I was told you gave Esadien a proper scolding at your coming-of-age banquet.”

Ugh. So even that incident in front of everyone had reached her ears.

“My apologies.”

“No need. Perhaps he needed that kind of shock.”

The Crown Princess stopped me and brewed the tea herself.

When the sand in the hourglass had run out, she stirred the pot with a silver rod, then poured the tea into cups in a graceful sequence.

“Minuelle, have you ever felt like Esadien was suppressing his emotions?”

“His Highness seemed… very confused.”

Confused, swayed by me, unable to find his footing. Embarrassed.

Yes, there were times like that. It wasn’t long ago, but the feelings had dulled, so the memories felt blurry.

“He also said he doesn’t trust fleeting emotions.”

“Yes. He still believes that.”

The teacup was ornate. Gold rimmed the handle and the saucer’s edge, but the very lip of the cup and the bottom were silver.

It felt like a glimpse into the life of the Emperor and his successor—like the slender silver rod used to stir the teapot.

“In the past, before Esadien entered the Imperial palace, he lived with his birth mother.”

“Yes. That would be the late Princess Maya.”

I had once been more or less forced to visit that mansion.

‘I just wanted to thank you for protecting this place.’

The words I had heard on that rooftop flashed through my mind.

As if things weren’t already sinking low enough, just when I was about to start digging myself an underground tunnel, the Crown Princess’ next words snapped me back to reality.

“Yes. After her lover disappeared and she was cast out of the palace, she reportedly lost her sanity for good.”

The deposed princess had directed all her resentment over her missing lover onto Esadien.

Hearing that she had even beaten and driven out the servants who tried to protect him made me sigh involuntarily.

‘And after coming to the Imperial Palace, he was tormented by the Second Prince? It would have been stranger if the kid had grown up properly in such an environment.’

“So he built a fence around himself,” the Crown Princess said. “He didn’t let anyone in. Not even His Majesty or me.”

To Esadien, the Emperor and Crown Princess were just adults he could be grateful for and rely on—nothing more.

“You were the only one he ever let in, Minuelle.”

“……”

“Honestly, I was surprised. Just the fact that he accepted you, who visited him every day.”

“He said he only did that to repay the debt he owed to my family.”

The Crown Princess gave a bitter laugh and scratched her forehead.

“Did he now? Hah… He really is hopeless, even if he’s my little brother.”

Still, even after lowering her hand, the laughter didn’t fade. If anything, she looked even more cheerful.

“But you know,” she continued. “Do you know what he said, the first time he came out of his room after the Karnian family sent the annulment papers?”

I don’t want to know!

That sentence surged all the way up my throat.

The engagement was already over—did I really have to hear all this now?

But social rank was a cruel thing.

All I could do was hide my twitching lips behind the teacup and listen quietly.

“He said he wouldn’t accept it.”

Of course he did.

No twist there. Just like he had at our house earlier—he must’ve proudly declared it. Obviously.

What Esadien had gone through as a child…yes, it was pitiful and tragic.

But those were the kinds of things that stir basic human empathy.

Even when it’s not a person but an animal being mistreated, people still think it’s sad, don’t they?

No matter how heartbreaking his past might have been, the fact remained: I had bounced off that wall—or fence, or whatever it was—that Esadien had built.

And now, his refusal to accept the annulment only felt selfish to me.