Chapter 23

It looked like he’d just finished washing up after training—his still-damp hair was a shade darker than usual.  

His cravat was off, and a few shirt buttons were undone, allowing a glimpse of bare skin that was, frankly, not indecent but quite… pleasing.

‘Oooooh… It’s been a while since I’ve seen those muscles…!’

I wanted to see more, but as soon as Esadien caught the footman’s wide-eyed stare, he scowled and quickly buttoned up his shirt.

Maybe I had stared too hard.

“Aww… That’s unfair.”

“What are you talking about? I’ll get properly dressed, so wait here for a moment.”

The footman slipped out with a grin after receiving that sharp look.  

Now it was just the two of us, and Esadien really did turn away to change clothes.

“Esadien.”  I called out to him softly.  

Today, I didn’t want to be apart from him.  

If I stayed close, maybe the unease would fade.

“I’ll be right back.”

“No.”

I reached out my arms slightly toward him as he turned back to look at me.

“I missed you.”

He hesitated for a moment, then let out a sigh and returned to wrap me in a hug.

‘Back then, I couldn’t have even dreamed of something like this.’

Only after wrapping my arms around his waist did a smile finally form on my lips.

“Want me to help you change?”

“No. I decline.”

But his refusal was swift and absolute, like a sword slicing through the air.  

I pouted and stomped my feet in mock protest.

“Too mean. Then stay like this.”

“That wouldn’t be proper…”

“Just for today. Otherwise, I won’t let go.”

I cut him off mid-sentence, half-threatening, and heard a quiet, resigned sigh above me.

I looked up and smiled sweetly into his eyes.

“Okay, Esadien?”

“…You’re impossible to resist. Very well.”

By now, leaning against Esadien on the long sofa felt natural—for both him and me.

I rested my head on his shoulder and let out a deep breath, and he immediately asked: “Is something wrong, Minuelle?”

“Why?”

“You just seem… more unsettled than usual.”

The surprise passed quickly—followed by a quiet warmth that spread through my chest.

‘He’s been watching me, too.’

At some point, my one-sided feelings had started pulling his gaze toward me.

“Hold my hand.”

He gently offered his large hand.  

I laced my fingers between his and locked them together tightly.

“Today, Sister Juela received the Emperor’s blessing for her marriage.”

After a moment of hesitation, Esadien asked carefully:

“Does it feel strange? Like she’s leaving for good? I heard sisters sometimes feel that way.”

“No. We’re going to live in the same house anyway.”

“Then…”

“Lady Celeste is going to serve as His Highness the Crown Princess’ handmaiden. His Majesty said he wanted to keep her close.”

Esadien must’ve known the real reason. If the Emperor was that startled at first sight, there’s no way he hadn’t noticed.

“I see…”

His response came slowly, just as I expected.

‘So you really are thinking about Lapheche?’

The unease inside me swelled again, expanding rapidly.  

It was the instinct of someone in love.

Just like the doubts I’d had today—I hoped this, too, was just a misunderstanding.

Growing impatient, I pulled away from Esadien and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Esadien, when are we getting married?”

“That depends on when His Majesty and the Grand Duke come to an agreement.”

“His Majesty wants it to happen soon. And so do I.”

“…”  Esadien simply looked at me in silence.

I couldn’t tell whether he was blaming me for being impatient—or if he truly meant that it didn’t matter to him.

For once, I couldn’t read the look in Esadien’s eyes.

‘I don’t want to lose him.’

Like clothes soaked through in a drizzle, Esadien had slowly become familiar to me.  

I didn’t want to lose that. No—  

I didn’t want him to be taken from me.

That strong embrace, those broad shoulders that tilted toward me when I leaned on him.  

The way his ears sometimes flushed red when he looked at me, that calm, low voice calling my name—

‘If all of that were to be directed not at me, but at Lapheche instead…’

Even imagining it made a surge of heat rise inside me, an impulse to destroy everything flooding up uncontrollably.

“Esadien…”

I exhaled slowly, pushing down every dark thought inside me.  

In turn, I gripped his hand even tighter.

“I’ll make you happy.”

So please—come to me.

“…”  Still, Esadien said nothing.  

So I poured everything I had into my next words.

“I love you.”

In that moment, a clear crack appeared in the expression I hadn’t been able to read.  

A flicker—like a wince, or perhaps something like rejection.

I froze completely.

Then, finally, Esadien parted his lips.

“How can you… be sure of that?”

 

* * *

 

Lately, Esadien found himself zoning out more often.

“Esadien.”

Every time he snapped his head around, thinking he heard that soft, gentle voice calling his name, he’d find a startled attendant standing there, having tried calling him several times already.

It was the same when he slumped onto the corner of a long sofa.

“I love you.”

That gaze, unwavering and sincere.  

That voice, firm with certainty.  

Even the gentle weight of her hand on his shoulder—he could recall it all vividly.

Even now, she was a mystery to him. How could Minuelle be so sure?

His mother and her lover must’ve whispered words like that to each other, too.  

But in the end, the man left.  

All that remained was nothing worth speaking of.

Despite that, Esadien regretted asking Minuelle that question.  

He could still picture her eyes, filled with pain, and her trembling lips that had parted then closed again.

“Hoo…”

He let out a heavy sigh and pushed himself up from the seat.

The Prince’s palace was full of Minuelle’s presence.  

If he stayed here, he’d do nothing but think of her.

“Where are you going, Your Highness?”

“A walk. You don’t need to follow.”

“But—”

“My head is a mess. I’ll be fine. Don’t follow me.”

He waved off the attendants who tried to accompany him and began walking aimlessly.

“I forgive you.”

But again, that voice echoed in his mind.

‘I came all the way out here, and still—why now?’

He frowned and blinked, and only then did the surrounding sounds flood back into his ears.

“Where… am I?”

It was the library.

Around the dazed Esadien, others were moving briskly—requesting materials, searching the shelves, bustling through their tasks.

The distinctive scent of books hit his nose, and instinctively, he recalled what had happened in the Karnian manor’s library.

’Ah. Damn it.’

He felt his face flush hot instantly.  

Embarrassed, Esadien quickly turned and left the library like a man fleeing the scene.

Truthfully, up until that day, Esadien hadn’t intended to engage in any physical intimacy with Minuelle.

The Crown Princess’ warning—“Don’t get reckless before her coming-of-age”—was one thing.  

But more than that, Esadien himself had never wanted to cross that line before marriage.

And yet— “Then…can I kiss you?”

The way she had provoked him with such clear, bright eyes…

After all those tangled thoughts flashing through his mind, he had finally given in—  

Only for her to cancel it, saying she didn’t want to do something that felt like a reward.

Esadien, who rarely acted on impulse, had lost control just that once—and gone through with it.

‘She must’ve been okay with it. Minuelle too…’

Judging by the way she threw herself into his arms—probably.

“You said no… and then…”

Minuelle was still too difficult for Esadien. A little frightening, even. Maybe someone he even resented a bit.

“I didn’t want to hurt you…”

It felt like being lost in a maze.

Why did someone keep appearing in his thoughts?  

Why was it that, more than his own pain, her hurt feelings started to matter more?

Esadien didn’t know the answer.  

No—he was deliberately avoiding it.

All those emotions, shoved into a lonely tower inside his heart, with the key held tightly in his hand… yet he had no idea what to do with it.

That was Esadien.

“Oh my, Your Highness. Fancy seeing you here.”

Just then, a light voice called out to Esadien, who had been quietly staring up at the sky.

When he turned, his eyes landed on a head of curly hair as red as roses.

‘Right…’

He’d heard that Lapheche had entered the palace as a handmaiden to the Crown Princess.  

He’d heard it from Minuelle, no less. From her tone, it was clear she didn’t think highly of the girl.

Still, Esadien had assumed he wouldn’t run into her. He rarely left the Prince’s Palace, after all.

“Lady Cel—”

He had meant to offer a simple greeting and pass by.  

But even that thought—no, even the act of greeting—faltered and disappeared.

One step. Then another.

With every step Lapheche took toward him, the image of Minuelle that had occupied his mind slowly faded.

“Your Highness?”

When Lapheche finally stopped in front of him and called out—Minuelle vanished completely.

Even her voice, which had lingered in his ears, was gone.

It was the first silence he had felt in a long while.

“Were you just at the library? You must enjoy picking out books yourself,” she said.

But the quiet he had briefly welcomed didn’t last. The same feeling that had unsettled Esadien the last time he’d run into Lapheche returned in full.

That cloying sweetness in the air, the way his heart beat off-rhythm like a mismatched drum—  

Unmistakable signs.

“Ah… I heard Lady Celeste has entered the Crown Princess’ service.”

“Yes! His Majesty summoned me today, and then kindly gave me permission to leave a bit early.”

With just that one sentence, Esadien could tell exactly how Lapheche was being treated.

‘I see. She must have made a good impression on Her Highness.’

The Emperor, who had dearly loved his sister—Esadien’s mother—was likely trying to relive old memories through Lapheche’s resemblance to her.  

But she wasn’t educated enough to serve directly in the main palace where the Emperor resided. The maids there typically had three to four years of experience in the outer court at minimum.

If the Emperor kept sending messengers to summon her from a baron’s household, tongues would start wagging.

‘Knowing that, my cousin probably made up an excuse and slipped her into a more appropriate role.’

“Your Highness, is something troubling you?”

“No.”

“But I saw you sighing earlier.”

“…Hm.”

Somehow, they were now walking side by side, chatting casually.

“Is it… because of Lady Minuelle?”

Still, Esadien neither replied nor nodded.

But Lapheche had a feeling. Unlike last time, when she’d felt like she was running into a thick wall, today it felt like the door had been left slightly ajar.

“I’ll help you. They say even the hardest problems become easier when you put your heads together, right? And I’m actually close with Lady Minuelle.”

“Didn’t you say last time that she disliked you?”

“T-that was ages ago! We’re close now.”

“Is that so.”

Even so, Esadien’s expression remained skeptical.