Chapter 112

“It lingered like a spell. I couldn’t forget it. I wanted to forget, but the words I heard while being strangled would never leave me.”

“……!”

But this—this was truly shocking.

She strangled him? She strangled that little child’s neck?

No wonder the servants were beaten and driven out when they tried to stop it.

Even if you’ve gone mad, there are limits.

A deep sigh rose unbidden from the pit of my stomach. Still… she was Esadien’s mother. Forcing my expression into calm, I shook off his arm.

“Minuelle?”

“Shh. Stay still.”

After gently silencing him, I shifted to sit on his lap and pulled his stiff shoulders into my arms.

“Her Highness Princess Maya… no, your mother—she didn’t do it because she wanted to hate you.”

“……”

“When you get hurt, you have to treat the wound before it festers. But wounds in the heart are harder to heal, so they fester instead. Of course, the fact that it wasn’t intentional doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong…”

It’s a real problem this world doesn’t have psychiatrists. I only muttered it inwardly, resting my cheek softly atop Esadien’s head.

“You’ve been through a lot. Really.”

The arms around my waist tightened.

“…Now I understand. That my mother was wrong.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. This feeling… it won’t vanish like foam. Even if I die, even if my body rots away, it will remain…”

Breathing hotly against me, Esadien finally lifted his head. His reddened eyes were paired with a radiant smile.

“I learned it by looking at you, Minuelle.”

It was a smile so moving it swelled my own heart. I couldn’t bring myself to answer. Instead, I simply pressed a kiss to his forehead and held him tighter.

Ah—come to think of it, about the crown princess…

I still felt uneasy about raising my voice earlier, but this wasn’t the moment to bring it up.

How could I, when my Esadien was smiling like this?

He’ll tell me himself soon enough—maybe even tomorrow.

I thought to leave it at that, but after that day, Esadien grew quieter and quieter.

Like a clam sealing itself shut.

To the point where I found myself thinking it. Watching his lovely lips stay stubbornly closed, I reached a conclusion. Waiting wasn’t my strong suit. My patience lasted—at most—thirty minutes.

And I’ve waited several days. That’s plenty.

With a clink, I set down the teacup and saucer together. Esadien blinked, as if waking from a dream.

“Was your position uncomfortable?”

“No, the position is fine.”

We were sitting pressed together, just like on the way back from the temple. To prove my point, I wrapped my now-free hand around his neck. My tone, however, was sharp as a jab.

“What’s uncomfortable is you saying nothing.”

“I… have been, haven’t I.”

“Yes, you have. Didn’t we agree to live without secrets? You and I?”

“Minuelle, I wasn’t trying to break that promise.”

His hand stroked my cheek as usual, but his trembling gaze betrayed him.

You said you wouldn’t be anxious.

Instead of soothing him, I simply nodded. The signal was clear: I understand, now talk. And so Esadien began, haltingly.

“My brother… no, Austin’s faction holding out in the imperial capital—we can’t leave them be any longer.”

The furious Emperor had stripped Austin of his imperial title entirely and declared him a traitor, yet he’d held out for quite some time. Even with soldiers stationed at every gate to keep a single ant from slipping through.

If there’s no supplies, people can’t survive, so how was he lasting this long?

Did he… open a gate like in the temple?

At first I wondered that, but if such a thing could be opened at will, Roquate would have long ago been overrun by Chitrum soldiers.

In any case, waiting for Austin’s faction to wither away inside the capital would take too long. And if the Emperor didn’t show decisive action in reclaiming the capital, cracks would start to appear in his authority.

“My sister insisted she would deal with Austin herself. His Majesty and I opposed it, but she insisted—as the imperial heir, it’s her duty.”

So that was what the argument was about. I could understand the Crown Princess’s words, but I could also fully understand the position of the Emperor, who couldn’t lose his heir, and Esadien, who owed her so much.

If the crown princess were to fall… who would succeed the throne? Esadien?

That’s… not ideal.

When I made a reluctant face, Esadien hesitated.

“So… while His Majesty tries to dissuade her, I may have to enter the capital.”

“Alone?”

“Perhaps with Theo.”

“So that’s what you’ve been mulling over—who to take with you?”

“…What?”

Our puzzled gazes met.

“Ever since you returned from seeing His Majesty, you’ve been burdened with worries, Esadien.”

“You… noticed?”

“Is that really surprising?”

You were so obvious. Like someone hit by winter blues—less talk, gloomier expressions, attention drifting.

Looking subdued, Esadien apologized sincerely.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to be that sorry.”

People think, don’t they? I just wanted to know what he was thinking about.

“In truth… in my head I know I should go, but I kept feeling I didn’t want to.”

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to force yourself—”

“Because I want to stay by your side. Disloyally, I kept wavering.”

“…Uh, I’m sorry, then.”

Sorry for turning you into someone you never used to be.

Flustered, I glanced around, and Esadien laughed aloud, pressing his forehead to mine. Feeling his warm breath, I calmed myself and asked quietly,

“Do you still hear your mother’s voice?”

He brushed my cheek playfully, as though he knew my heart completely.

“Mm… not since I became El.”

“That’s good. Then—”

“Instead, I keep thinking of you. Missing you. What should I do, my master?”

His eyes curved with a sly, almost seductive glint, and he leaned closer and closer—so close I knew exactly what would happen in a few seconds. I thumped him on the forehead.

Thwack!

“Ow.”

“What do you mean ‘what should you do’? You go into the capital and drag Austin down.”

Blinking at my words, Esadien arched his brows and asked curtly,

“Won’t you miss me?”

“No time to miss you if you end it quickly.”

What’s the problem? I trusted him. With his skill, he could slip in and subdue Austin without being detected. His past under Austin’s thumb worried me a little, but now that he’d shaken off his mother’s shadow, there was no reason he couldn’t shake off Austin’s.

He even dealt a critical blow to him last time, when, without hesitation, he moved at Gabbie’s words that I needed saving.

I poked his cheek and smiled.

“Right?”

“You’re so correct I can’t argue.”

“Aw, don’t pout.”

Pushing him back slightly, I pulled something thin from my pocket. I wanted to make it appear with a “ta-da!” like magic, but my sluggish body wouldn’t allow it.

Tch. Turns out getting healthy and being agile are two different things.

Even as I fumbled, Esadien’s blue eyes widened in surprise.

“What’s this, Minuelle?”

Instead of answering, I looped a thin silver chain around his neck. At its end hung a locket, engraved cleanly with the crest of House Karnian.

When he opened it carefully, his eyes grew even wider.

“This is…”

“My hair.”

A small braid of my hair lay inside, like a fine cord.

They say it’s a common gift between lovers here. There’s something timeless about it.

I’d prepared it to cheer him up and, unintentionally, to confess—hoping it might also help strengthen his resolve. Smiling brightly, I whispered, “Now you can feel like we’re always together, right?”

And then—what on earth? I thought it was a perfect line, but his face darkened instantly.

“What’s wrong? You don’t like it?”

It was freshly cut after washing—did it bother him? Did he dislike such things?

Flustered, I reached to take it back, but he reacted with unexpected vehemence.

“No! Who takes back a gift they’ve given?”

As if to guard it, he clutched the locket tightly—no, he stuffed it inside his shirt entirely. I froze, my hand hovering awkwardly in the air.

So… you don’t hate it?

At last, Esadien managed a faint smile again.

“Thank you. I’ll treasure it.”

“Uh… okay…”

This felt like being forced to bow after giving someone a gift.

When I gave him the tapestry, he’d been startled but clearly pleased.

This time it was different—almost as if he didn’t like it, but would keep it just because it was from me.

Hmm.

I placed my hands on my knees, rolled my eyes, and finally sprang to my feet, unable to bear the awkwardness.

“Well, I’ll be going now!”

“Minuelle?”

He called after me, puzzled, but I was already scampering out. Still, he caught up within seconds and grabbed my shoulder.

“The roads are slippery from the snow.”

By now, snow had piled so high you couldn’t tell where the path ended and the ground began. Even with the servants sweeping constantly, they couldn’t keep up with the falling flakes.

But instead of replying, I lifted my skirts slightly and stepped down firmly. An invisible heat surged out, evaporating all the snow along the path to the main building.

Behold—the human snowplow!

“Now it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine for me.”

“Huh?”

“Because I want to spend even one second longer with you.”

“……”

Always with the sudden blows to my heart.

With his arm around my shoulder, Esadien walked slowly down the now-clear path. Neither of us said a word. In the dimming light, our twin breaths billowed white, cutting through the stillness like pale lamps.