Chapter 109

“What are you doing here?”  

“No, you—”  

I stopped mid-answer.  

‘This is… really strange.’ 

Ramande and I had always gone in and out of each other’s rooms without hesitation.  

Granted, he came to my room far more often than I went to his, but even if it was the other way around, we were the kind of people who never questioned why. We were so close that even if I kicked open his bedroom door, he wouldn’t be startled.  

That was our relationship—ten years in—not just friends, but closer than family.  

Something caught in my throat, but I forced a smile.  

“You’ve been scarce lately, so I came to check on you!”  

“…”  

“You’re not sick, are you?”  

But Ramande stayed silent.  

Like someone trying to solve an impossible riddle, he stood there, arms folded tight, staring straight into my face.  

‘Seriously, what’s with him?’  

I was just about to poke his side to break the tension when—  

With a long sigh, like he’d been holding his breath, he raked a hand through his hair.  

“Haah. Nothing much.”  

“Then is something wrong?”  

“Not really.”  

“…Are you mad at me?”  

“No.”  

Liar.  

I clenched my trembling hands into fists.  

‘He keeps giving one-word answers, saying he’s not mad and nothing’s wrong?’ 

Even as my face grew more and more rigid, Ramande dropped his bomb in the driest tone possible.  

“Stop coming to my room from now on.”  

“What? Why?!”  

“Why? What if I do something to you?”  

“…What?”  

It was the last thing I’d expected to hear. All the irritation and bewilderment I’d felt vanished into thin air.  

I gave a short, incredulous laugh.  

“Do something? You? Please. We’ve lived like this forever—what, you want to suddenly start acting all proper—”  

Thwack!  

Ramande’s hand slammed into the door right next to my face.  

I froze. He had never once done anything violent in front of me before.  

“R-Ramande?”  

“What.”  

“…Huh?”  

I tried to back away, but the door was right behind me. Before I could take even one step, I found myself trapped, and Ramande slowly leaned down toward me.  

In the shadowed face, only his violet eyes gleamed. I couldn’t breathe, like a rabbit cornered by a lion.  

“Why do you assume I wouldn’t do anything? Because we’re family?”  

“Y-yeah. We—we’re family.”  

When his lukewarm breath brushed my cheek, my voice shook uncontrollably.  

It was strange. Physical closeness like this was nothing new for us. Back when I was really sick, we’d even shared a room—so why was I suddenly so tense now?  

‘Why now, Minuelle Karnian?’  

Even as I berated myself, I found no answer.  

Was it his eyes? That unblinking stare, sparkling like amethyst turned to pure crystal?  

“Heh… family.”  

But that hollow laugh felt like it denied every moment we’d shared until now.  

I flared up, smacking his arm over and over.  

“If we’re not family, then what are we? We’ve eaten, slept, and lived under the same roof for over ten years—that’s family, what else could it be!”  

“Does your fiancé think so too?”  

“…What?”  

That question brought Esadien’s unhesitating reply to mind.  

‘Are you jealous of Lord Olce?’

‘Yes.’  

He, who was even jealous of Clidane, what did he think when he saw Ramande and me while he was in El’s body?

“Esadien… is…”  

At some point, my hands had stilled, gripping Ramande’s arm tightly.  

I should have said yes, but with his sunken expression watching me, I couldn’t open my mouth.  

“Priest Ramande.”  

A familiar voice drawled from behind.  

“Hah.”  

I flinched, but Ramande just sighed in irritation and stepped back.  

And behind him stood—  

“…Minuelle.”  

—Esadien, face unreadable.  

‘Why now, of all times!’

It was just like at the consecration ceremony—only Ramande was here instead of Lapheche, and the witness had switched.  

Realizing this, I felt a wave of dismay.  

‘I can’t tell what he’s thinking…’

That calm, still face of Esadien’s scared me, but I couldn’t just say nothing. I didn’t want the same misunderstanding to happen again.  

“Uh, Esadien, this is…”  

I cautiously reached out, and his hand came forward to hold mine, as if to meet it.  

Knowing it would sound like an excuse, I still drew strength from that touch and finished my explanation.  

“Ramande’s been scarce lately, so… I came to check on him.”  

But unlike me, tense as a wire, Esadien replied evenly,  

“I know.”  

“What?”  

“I know how important Priest Ramande is to you, Minuelle.”  

Good heavens.  

“Really? I—”  

I was immediately overcome with guilt, remembering how I had misunderstood without question the moment I saw him with Lapheche.

Guilt began to creep in.  

But Esadien clearly knew what I was thinking. Lifting my chin, he drove the point home.  

“This is nothing like that time. I have no reason to misunderstand you and Priest Ramande. You two are family.”  

And then, as if to reassure me, he pulled me gently into his arms.  

“Always.”  

For a moment, I thought his gaze had slid past me to Ramande—but then his slow, soothing pats melted that thought away.  

“Esadien…”  

“It’s all right. Breathe.”  

Only then did I realize that, without noticing, I’d been breathing so shallowly that it was barely enough to keep me going.  

My whole body trembled as a long, pent-up breath finally escaped.  

“Haaah.”  

Thank goodness.  

Really, thank goodness.  

But then—  

Bang!

The sound of a door opening violently, then slamming shut, made my shoulders snap stiff again.  

“I don’t know why Ramande’s acting like this.”  

Even knowing Esadien wasn’t misunderstanding, I couldn’t figure out why Ramande was still angry.  

‘Almost like he wants me to be misunderstood.’

The thought flashed through my mind, and I shook my head quickly. No—Ramande would never. He always told me to do whatever was best for me.  

“Don’t worry. It’s because of me—I’ll talk to him.”  

“This is between me and Ramande—why are you saying it’s your fault?”  

Everything felt strange today.  

Instead of answering, Esadien kissed my forehead and smoothly changed the subject.  

“Shall I escort you to your room?”  

I looked at him, beautiful as ever, and shook my head.  

He clearly wasn’t going to explain. I could only guess that something had happened between him and Ramande.  

“I can go on my own. I’m not a child.”  

At my slightly sulky tone, Esadien let out a low chuckle.  

His fingers brushed the lace at the end of my glove, slowly stroking the inside of my wrist.  

“Of course.”  

That honey-thick voice made my throat dry.  

‘Is there some kind of conservation law for shyness? Because the balance has definitely shifted.’  

Still—  

‘This isn’t like me.’

I pulled myself together and cleared my throat loudly.  

“Ahem!”  

Back to being the Minuelle who could fluster Esadien!  

“Well, I’ll be going. You want to talk to Ramande alone, right?”  

“Yes. Thank you, Minuelle.”  

“No, it’s just…”  

I was bitter that I couldn’t even comfort Ramande the first time he’d acted like this. The only consolation was that Esadien, who claimed to be the cause, would talk to him directly.  

But even if he could talk to Ramande, he couldn’t fix the bitterness in me born of my own sense of loss—and I couldn’t ask him to.  

So I just smiled.  

“Want to have dinner together later? It’s lamb today.”  

“You’ll have to eat broccoli too.”  

“…”  

No thanks.  

I gave him a defensive glare as I stepped back.  

“Why are you trying to fix my picky eating? Life and stomach space are both limited. Better to fill them only with what I like.”  

“Because I want you to live a long, healthy life with me.”  

“Urgh.”  

That’s hard to argue with.  

Sure, with enough money and holy power, even cancer could be cured—but when he said it like that, I couldn’t exactly reply, ‘Don’t worry, we’re rich!’

“If you really hate it, I can’t help it.”  

“I didn’t say I hated it! Probably.”  

I only thought it.  

“One piece. That’s it!”  

Hammering in my condition, I hurried to turn away before he could suggest carrots too.  

“Haha.”  

Fortunately, he only laughed instead of stopping me.  

As I scurried off, I heard a knock knock behind me—Esadien knocking on Ramande’s door. But there was no reply.  

‘Hmm. Maybe I should be there too.’  

I was just thinking that when—  

Crack!

Something broke.  

I spun around, startled, to see Esadien stepping through the now-open door.  

Bang!

The door slammed shut again, just as loudly as before.  

Then—  

Clunk.  

The doorknob suddenly drooped forward, rattled once, and fell right off.  

“You broke the doorknob because he wouldn’t open the door?”  

A dry laugh slipped from my lips.  

“Wow… our Esadien has changed.”  

In the past, if someone refused to open the door, he would have just walked away. But now, he was someone who would insist—force his way in, even.  

And I liked that change.  

‘Better to be desperate than to live with no attachment, no place to rest your heart.’ 

But still—  

“What… are they talking about in there?”  

The curiosity was killing me.  

I couldn’t bring myself to go closer to Ramande’s room, but I couldn’t leave either, pacing in place like a caged animal.  

Inside me, two voices fought.  

—You’re curious! And when you’re curious, you can’t focus on anything else! 

—Show Esadien you trust him. There’s a reason he didn’t ask you to join them.

“Damn it! What am I supposed to do if they’re both right?!”  

By the time I was ruffling my hair in frustration—  

“Young lady?”  

I whirled around to see the butler, who looked at my tangled hair with concern.  

“Is something wrong?”  

“Ah… ahaha. It’s nothing.”  

I hastily combed my hair with my fingers, but the worry on his face only deepened.  

“Are you all right? Shall I help you?”  

“No! Just fix the doorknob to Ramande’s room. It broke.”  

“How did that happen…? Very well.”  

“Thanks!”  

I quickly walked away.  

“Good thing the butler happened to pass by.”  

If I’d been caught eavesdropping, that would’ve been bad.  

Breathing a sigh of relief, I turned the corner—  

And froze at the unexpected sight before me.  

“Waaah!”  

The corridor facing the garden—  

Only moments ago, the sky had been overcast and gloomy, but now dazzling sunlight poured in, making everything sparkle.  

The snow piled high, the New Year’s decorations, the corridor floor, even the paintings on the wall.  

I couldn’t help but smile wide, gazing at that sight for a long, long moment.