Chapter 107

Even after I’d stopped crying and composed my face, Esadien kept his deep gaze fixed on me.  

Whish, whish.  

I deliberately turned my head this way and that, but his eyes wouldn’t leave me. Feeling embarrassed, I ended up blurting out in a sulky voice,  

“Stop looking at me.”  

“Why?”  

Why? Because it’s embarrassing, that’s why.  

“My eyes are swollen from crying.”  

“The corners of your eyes are red… like crimson flower buds.”  

…Good heavens. Was Esadien always this poetic?  

At the discovery of this hidden talent, my fingers and toes all curled inward.  

“Flowers? W-what are you talking about…”  

If I let him go on, my feet might curl up so much I wouldn’t be able to walk. Deciding quickly, I tried to quietly inch away from him—  

Smooch.  

But before I could, his lips touched the corner of my eye with a vivid sound and then lifted away.  

“Haa.”  

Then he pulled me tightly into his arms, releasing a satisfied sigh.  

The warmth of his breath, as if it had risen from the depths of his chest, tickled my hair.  

Even though my forehead was pressed against his chest, I could picture his softened expression in my mind.  

‘…Is it really that good for him?’ 

I still wasn’t used to Esadien acting like this. Well, truthfully, he’d been firing “I like you” beams at me for a while now, but actually accepting it felt strange.  

And yet my fickle cheekbones were diligently lifting upward.  

‘Ugh. I absolutely cannot show this face right now.’ 

In that sense, maybe it was lucky my face was hidden.  

The problem was my hands.  

‘Where… should I put them?’  

Just letting them dangle seemed weird. Grabbing his clothes felt awkward. But hugging him back felt too forward.  

If I were still the one who always initiated contact, I wouldn’t even be worrying about this—I’d have just gone for it and hugged him first.  

‘But I can’t do that anymore.’  

In the end, unable to bear the awkwardness, I just wiggled my fingers, which made Esadien ask worriedly,  

“Are you uncomfortable?”  

“N-no? Totally fine!”  

Startled, I waved both hands to prove I was perfectly okay. But of course, Esadien wasn’t about to just let it slide. He actually pulled back—on purpose!—to check my face.  

“You cried so much… Do your eyes sting?”  

“No!”  

I could not show him this ridiculous expression! Not if my life depended on it!  

Gripped by that thought, I reflexively wrapped my arms tightly around his waist.  

‘Whoa. Still solid. So firm!’  

Even through the thick winter clothes, I could feel the hardness. Naturally, my mind flashed back to when I saw him right after he’d returned from being El to being human.  

Gulp.  

The sound of the saliva sliding down my throat seemed far too loud.  

‘D-did he hear that? Why am I suddenly salivating?’ 

But Esadien didn’t laugh, didn’t even ask about it. He just stood there quietly.  

‘Phew. Guess he didn’t hear.’  

I’d just started to relax when—thump, thump—there was a loud sound from somewhere.  

Thump, thump!  

Thump, thump, thump!  

‘What is that?’

I furrowed my brow and listened closely. Soon I realized it was the sound of Esadien’s heartbeat.  

‘So… when you said your heart might burst—’  

‘—you meant it literally?!’  

Wasn’t that usually just a metaphor?  

If we stayed hugging like this another minute, it wouldn’t be strange if he actually had a heart rupture. No wonder I hadn’t recognized it as a sound a human body could make.  

“Hey, move back a little. Something’s going to break at this rate.”  

“I don’t want to, Minuelle. Just a little longer…”  

Concerned, I wriggled and pushed at his shoulders, but he only tightened his arms around me, his voice turning coaxing like a child’s.  

And as if that weren’t enough, he scattered kisses like rain from my crown down to my forehead.  

Still not satisfied, apparently, he easily lifted my head—despite me trying to resist because it tickled—and carefully inspected my eyes.  

“That’s a relief.”  

With those words, his lips traced down my nose and inevitably found my mouth again.  

“Could you at least—mmph.”  

Even my protest about him listening to me was swallowed up. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to be mad.  

Maybe it was because with each kiss—short, long, shallow, deep—his heartbeat grew louder and louder, resonating through my body where we were pressed together.  

I had no idea how long it went on. At last, with a deep, friction-filled sound, Esadien’s face pulled away.  

“Hoo…”  

I exhaled a long breath, dazed. Even though it wasn’t my first time, I’d been oddly nervous, and it seemed I’d been holding my breath without realizing.  

Esadien’s gaze was so warm and honeyed it was almost impossible to meet, and he stroked my lips—now visibly swollen—with gentle fingers.  

“As much as I hate to, I should send you off now.”  

“…Huh?”  

Just like that?  

And not even to a carriage—here, in this secluded (?) rear garden? Esadien wasn’t the sort to lack such basic manners.  

I tilted my head in confusion, and he pressed a kiss to my cheek as if it were too hard to hold back, murmuring,  

“Your party has come to fetch you.”  

“…What?!”  

My mind snapped awake. I whipped around to find Sister Juela standing with her arms folded, Ramande with a stiff face, and Clidane clearing his throat awkwardly.  

“Eek!”  

How had I not noticed?!  

With a shriek, I tried to shove Esadien away—only for him, as always, to move a beat faster.  

He stepped back with a smoothness that looked almost like dancing, and while I was still staring in a daze, Juela asked nonchalantly,  

“Looks like your talk with His Highness went well, Minuelle?”  

“Uh… yeah.”  

I answered in a small, guilty voice.  

My sister—and my family—would accept my choice.  

I knew that in my head, but it was still embarrassing to have made such a big show of saying I’d only give him one chance… only to cave so quickly.  

“Then let’s go back.”  

Juela bent her knees slightly in a polite bow to Esadien, then started to turn—only to pause as if she’d noticed something odd.  

“But Minuelle.”  

“Mm?”  

“Shouldn’t you let His Highness go now?”  

“…What?”  

Following her gaze, I discovered the problem—my hand was still gripping Esadien’s sleeve.  

“Oh, haha! What’s my hand doing? Haha, silly me.”  

I laughed it off and let go naturally… only to be caught by my bandaged hand instead.  

“I didn’t want to let you go either.”  

It had been only minutes since he’d said, I should send you off now.  

I gave him a pouty look and tried to reason with him.  

“Not now. What about your security? The Royal Guard is already divided—you can’t spare more men.”  

“But Minuelle, didn’t you tell me to come to the Grand Duchess’s estate when I was in danger?”  

‘If the opposite happens, make sure you come to the Grand Duchess’s estate. It’ll be better than facing it alone in the Prince’s Palace.’  

Yes… I had said that.  

And Esadien had promised to do so.  

Sensing my hesitation, he pressed on.  

“You also asked me to stay with you.”  

Ugh.  

“I even swore I’d return to the House of Karnian.”  

Urgh.  

It felt less like persuasion and more like assault-by-truth.  

From my words to El, to the night the Imperial Palace fell—he remembered it all almost eerily well.  

When my resolve wavered, he gave a small smile and whispered in my ear,  

“Please… take me with you.”  

“…”  

“Yes? Master.”  

As he coaxed me, my gaze happened to fall on the inside of his collar.  

It was normally hidden, but because he’d leaned toward me, I saw it clearly—the nape of his neck flushed red.  

That’s when I realized—  

Esadien hadn’t suddenly changed or started acting strangely.  

‘He’s… making an effort.’  

Even if it wasn’t natural for him to show his feelings—he didn’t want to regret it anymore.  

‘It’s not me projecting my own feelings onto him. He really is…’  

My nose stung with a sudden, indescribable emotion.  

If he’d been forcing himself to endure his shyness, how much must it have hurt him every time I recoiled or pushed him away?  

‘Why are you suddenly asking about my ideal type?’  

‘Because I want to be the kind of man you could love…’  

‘That’s just… acting.’ 

There was a time I’d rejected him like that.  

But the man standing before me now couldn’t possibly be called an actor.  

Tightening my grip on the hand that had been holding me all this time, I turned to Juela.  

But before I could even speak, she nodded lightly.  

“Do as you like, Minuelle.”  

Huh?  

I’d expected no strong objection, but this immediate approval was surprising.  

Apparently, I was the only one shocked—Juela and Clidane simply walked briskly toward the carriage, while Esadien smiled like his heart was overflowing and tugged at my joined hands.  

Then Ramande, who had been silent until now, approached.  

“So you’re coming back again, after all?”  

“Thanks to you, Priest, I was able to make up my mind for sure.”  

Esadien’s words of gratitude contrasted sharply with Ramande’s cold tone, and I blinked in surprise.  

‘What on earth is this about?’

Before I could ask, they continued speaking in a way that gave me no clue.  

“I can’t endure it like you do, Priest.”  

…Or,  

“No one else could ever endure like you.”  

How was I supposed to guess what happened from that?  

Yet Ramande seemed to understand perfectly, his eyes narrowing.  

The look in them was as sharp as an archer sizing up a target, and I tensed involuntarily—only for his words to land like arrows.  

“You truly have no sense of shame.”  

“R-Ramande.”  

That was going too far, so I tried to stop him—but he just glanced at me, then turned sharply toward the carriage.  

His face, his back, were both cold yet tinged with bitter sadness, and I couldn’t bring myself to follow or hold him back. I was left frozen in place.  

“What happened between you two?”  

“Mm.”  

Esadien hesitated for a moment, then shook his head.  

“I merely received a sermon from Priest Ramande.”  

“And what kind of—”  

I was going to ask what sort of sermon could make Ramande glare at him like that… but then a thought struck me, and I closed my mouth.  

‘Did things not work out with the person he liked?’

Before the palace gates closed, Ramande had seemed in decent spirits.  

Lately, though, his expression had been darker. I guess he’d worked up the courage to confess after nearly dying, only to be rejected.  

‘And I didn’t even notice.’

Some friend I was—so oblivious.