Chapter 106

“Are you with me?”

“Let go.”

My throat was parched. But when I saw the fire spreading to Esadien’s arm, my throat and everything else flew out of my head. I frantically struggled and shouted. No, doesn’t this person feel the heat!

“El! Let go of me! Quickly, El!”

“Minuelle, are you back to your senses?”

“Yes!”

I was on the verge of tears, telling him to please let go, but as my mind belatedly returned, I slowly regained control over the fire.

“Ahem.”

The problem was that my embarrassment also returned. After finally putting out all the flames, I cleared my throat and apologized.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. I’m okay now.”

Esadien finally sat back slowly. Even so, he wore a shy smile, as if embarrassed to have shown such a side of himself.

“I’m… so relieved.”

Was I anemic? When I looked at him directly, it felt like my vision was spinning. I closed my eyes tightly and then opened them, speaking stiffly. I felt like I would fall over backward if I didn’t.

“That, you have to get that treated quickly.”

How painful are burns? To have burns on those straight, beautiful hands. I can’t let there be burn scars on those hands…

“Someone, quickly take His Highness to the temple…!”

I knew that scars from spirits don’t disappear with divine power, but with a glimmer of hope that maybe it would be okay since Esadien didn’t directly touch the spirit stone, I called for someone. But as soon as I raised my voice, my consciousness went out, as if it had been waiting for that moment. All I remember was a gust of sandy wind blowing across my last field of vision.

***

Following the priest’s guidance, the attendees began to offer flowers in order. We were holding a short memorial service for Nicholas. The official funeral would be held in the North once the political situation was somewhat stable.

‘I’m sorry. Thank you. And… I won’t forget.’

After offering a flower, I briefly clasped my hands together and was about to move to the side when I flinched at the large figure blocking the path. He was completely covered in black clothes, but that only made him more imposing. Moreover, because of the bandages wrapped thickly around both of his hands, I couldn’t properly look at him. Yes, I had been avoiding Esadien ever since that incredible night.

“Ugh.”

And I still was. The moment our eyes met, without a second thought, I turned to the left and spun around. But unlike before, when I had avoided him from a distance, the fatal mistake was being within arm’s reach of Esadien. As his hand gently held my shoulder, a warm whisper settled in my ear.

“My master.”

“Th-there’s no one named master here. I can’t hear you.”

“Would you hear me if I shouted so loud it could be heard outside the temple wall?”

“Wh-what are you going to say?”

I asked reflexively and then covered my mouth, but the water was already spilled. This curiosity of mine!

“That Minuelle Karnian is the master who tamed the Third Prince.”

“Hee-eok!”

Terrified, I used the hand that was covering my mouth to clamp down on Esadien’s mouth.

“Do-don’t do that! Are you crazy?!”

“I won’t. In exchange, would you walk with me for a little while?”

Ugh. I felt like if I followed him now, I would get tangled up with Esadien again. But blocking the path any longer was an inconvenience. And making a fuss at a memorial service was something I shouldn’t do. In the end, there was no other choice.

After we went outside, Esadien was silent for a while. So much so that I was checking his mood. So I never imagined he would ask a question like this.

“Are you perhaps angry with me?”

“…Huh?”

“Ah, that was the wrong question. Since you haven’t forgiven me yet…”

What? Forgiven what?

‘Ah. The cat incident.’

I turned my gaze away from Esadien more and more. I had given him a chance, but I didn’t remember ever flat-out saying I forgave him. When I turned my head, Esadien gently turned my chin back to its original position.

“May I ask why you keep avoiding me?”

Thinking about how painful it would be if the bandages on his burns rubbed against my chin, I couldn’t pull away and had to meet his heavy gaze. I couldn’t open my mouth easily and just scrunched up my nose. But Esadien’s patience was great, and he eventually drew words out of me.

“So…”

“So?”

“Because I’m sorry!”

I shouted with my eyes tightly closed, then let out a deep sigh.

“Your Highness was hurt because of me, and the Vice-Commander… Nicholas lost his life because of me.”

“Sir Viache’s death was because of Austin.”

“…And the injury?”

Esadien looked at me for a moment with a somewhat pouty expression before answering.

“It’s fine. As long as there’s breath, the priests will save me.”

That wasn’t an answer to my question, but it was something I had heard before, so I paused.

“And a burn isn’t that much of a wound.”

“Are you calling that a ‘wound’ right now?”

I frowned deeply and glared at Esadien.

‘Why does this person treat his own body so nonchalantly?’

How painful are burns? The pain of heat that won’t go away with medicine and torments you under your skin is something you don’t know unless you’ve experienced it.

“Why are you getting angry? I didn’t say anything wrong.”

“Because Your Highness is echoing my words!”

“Do you understand my feelings a little now?”

“I don’t get it? It’s not like we’re of one mind or something… Ah!”

I was scolding him as if I had never been so sorry that I couldn’t speak, but I didn’t see the curb in the middle of the road and tripped. Esadien quickly pulled me to him and held me in his arms. Just like when we were leaving the Plendena temple building here last time. It felt like my chest was tickling just like that time, and I was about to pull away, but Esadien said in a low voice.

“You can lean on me.”

At his words, as if I had been hypnotized, the strength left my body. Was it because of the cool scent I liked from Esadien, or was it because my heart felt empty after going through one major event after another? The hug that enveloped my entire body seemed to melt away the tension that had been building up.

“Anyway… I’m really sorry. I’ll get you gloves so you can wear them every day. Made from the finest leather tanned in the North.”

“Thank you. I’ll treasure them.”

But his answer was strange. If he was going to ‘treasure’ them, didn’t that mean he wasn’t going to use them and would just put them away? When I raised my head, puzzled, Esadien said calmly.

“I won’t wear gloves.”

“Why not? The scars…”

“Because I’m not ashamed of them.”

My head rang like a bell.

“Is the beauty that Lady Plendena speaks of limited only to a smooth appearance and skin?”

“No…”

This was a catechism I had finished as a child, but hearing it from Esadien, the bell of Minuelle rang a second time.

Dong.

It hadn’t been long since I had declared that appearance doesn’t guarantee character. Was I just a person of words?

“Minuelle, I won’t ask you to do the same. However, I plan to live just as I have been. I will wear gloves when they are needed, and when I want to touch you like this… Ah.”

Esadien’s hand touched my cheek. As if he had just realized the presence of the bandages, he let out a small click of his tongue.

“I can’t touch you directly even now.”

“…Stop.”

“Minuelle?”

“Your Highness always makes me realize my foolishness.”

It was like this from the first time we met. It was Esadien who taught me that distance is necessary between people when I was rushing at them like a rhinoceros. And even now… it was Esadien who brought up the Plendena doctrine I already knew and showed it to me.

“I’m sorry. Truly… an indelible scar because of me…”

Esadien again held my chin, which was increasingly dropping down. My gaze, pulled up helplessly, became intertwined with his. His expression was inscrutable. He used to be expressionless, but ever since he started smiling, I couldn’t read his thoughts when he made this kind of face.

‘I want to know what he’s thinking.’

I was lost in thought, looking at Esadien’s neat eyebrows, when he suddenly opened his mouth as if answering me.

“I love you, Minuelle.”

Huh?

I froze for a moment, then frowned. There was something I was more curious about than asking if this wasn’t supposed to be a somber atmosphere just a moment ago.

“When you said that in front of the Second Prince… wasn’t that just to provoke him?”

“I was serious.”

Esadien, who had stated it with certainty, hesitated for a moment and then added.

“This is very old-fashioned, but I wish I could take out my heart and show it to you.”

“Haha, that is really old-fashioned.”

I waved my hand as if I had heard an old joke, but Esadien’s serious face didn’t even crack.

“Haha…”

Not even a little bit.

“Ha…”

Only my dry laughter echoed around us. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, I retorted.

“No, really?”

“Because I love you, it hurts much more for you to be hurt than for me to be hurt.”

As I heard those words, I felt a bubbling sound overlapping. As if one or two soap bubbles were rising in my chest.

“Because I love you, I wanted to stay by your side even if I had to become a beast.”

It was strange. The more Esadien’s words continued, the more the soap bubbles just kept increasing without bursting. It felt like my body would float up, as if my chest was completely filled. I tightened my facial muscles, which were trying to loosen up.

But…

“Because I love you… I’m happy that you don’t have to be ashamed of your wound alone.”

Tears I didn’t even know were there fell onto his hand, which was rubbing my palm. Esadien just gently kissed my tear-filled eyes but didn’t tell me not to cry. As he gently stroked my back, the tears didn’t stop but flowed even more messily.

“Is… is it love, when your chest feels all tight and about to burst?”

These soap bubbles were clustered tightly together, making me anxious as they threatened to burst. But Esadien didn’t seem to think so and showed a brightly smiling face for the first time today. Even though I was crying like this!

“Yes. When I see you, I feel like my heart is going to burst.”

“You, sniff, you’re so silly.”

“I’m sorry. Even if you say that…”

Esadien gently rested his forehead against mine.

“I love you. If I could have said these words sooner, I wouldn’t have come back like this.”

Why is he smiling like that while saying something so regretful? Forget about making me realize things, he was definitely an idiot.

But why did this idiot feel so cute? Why did I feel like I was floating whenever he said he loved me?

Why was I crying so much!

It was clear that I had become an idiot too. I was annoyed by the tears that wouldn’t stop, and at the same time, I was happy. While feeling these extreme, conflicting emotions, I didn’t want Esadien to pull away, so I held his face tightly as he tried to move.

“…Minuelle.”

“Be quiet.”

And just like some distant past, the distance between us became zero. The long-awaited kiss was long, sweet, and tasted of tears.