Chapter 3.7

Adrian entered a lounge reserved for the Imperial family, his chest heaving with deep, ragged breaths. His throat had been stinging from the moment Claire had walked into the ballroom on the Crown Prince’s arm. He had to strain to control his breathing behind the facade he had barely managed to maintain.

It felt as if someone had poured a bucket of cold ice into his lungs, and at the same time, as if a hand of fire was squeezing his stomach. Adrian couldn’t understand what this feeling was. All he could think was that he wanted to change his plans right now, kill everyone in the banquet hall, and tear Claire away from the Crown Prince.

When the Crown Prince had twirled and embraced Claire as if she were his own, Adrian couldn’t bear it any longer and stormed out of his seat. As he restlessly paced the lounge, he saw Claire being guided in by the head chamberlain. Adrian couldn’t believe it and had to stare at her for a long time.

Claire paused for a moment, not going in or out, before she seemed to make up her mind and stepped inside.

“You were here.”

“…”

“I’m a little tired, so I came to rest.”

“…”

“Is the banquet fun?”

 

***

 

I rambled on with nonsense he hadn’t asked for, and then I just stopped in my tracks. Well, what was I thinking? Adrian and I weren’t on speaking terms, were we?

“If I’m disturbing you, I’ll go rest somewhere else.”

Adrian, his voice thick as if choked, couldn’t utter a word and just lightly grabbed my wrist as I was about to leave. I took that as a sign that I didn’t have to go and sat on the lounge sofa. Adrian then sat opposite me and poured his glass full of liquor. He glanced at me as if to ask if I wanted some too.

“No, I don’t drink.”

At my words, he raised his glass and swallowed its contents in a single gulp.

I had tried to have this kind of conversation with him so many times, and it made me feel a little sad that all of those attempts had been for nothing.

‘Did you see my letter? Why did you come here? Did you follow me? Do you still want to get engaged to me? I tried to keep my promise to go back to you. So, about that… would you like to have a child with me?’

I recalled all the things I should have said and wanted to say to him and let out a small, unconscious laugh. I then chose the words I should say from the bottom of my heart.

“Adrian…”

When I called his name, Adrian, who had been silent as if he had aphasia, finally looked at me.

“Congratulations on your engagement. You looked good together.”

I had been worried about revealing my true feelings like a child that morning, so I offered him a sincere congratulations. At my congratulations, Adrian’s face seemed to contort, and then I heard a crack as the cup in his hand shattered.

Adrian didn’t seem to feel the cup breaking in his hand; he just creaked and stared at me. Soon, a red liquid of blood and liquor mixed together, soaking the floor.

“You ran away from the Grand Duke’s residence, deceiving me, and all you have to say is what? ‘Congratulations on your engagement’?”

‘Look, everyone! My baby is starting to babble!’

I thought it would be better for him to just keep his mouth shut and frustrate me, and I approached Adrian.

“Okay, okay, now give me your hand.”

The male lead in a romance fantasy novel must not feel pain at all from bleeding, as he didn’t even wince, but simply brought the hand that had been holding the shattered glass up to his forehead. I was so surprised that I snatched his wrist.

“Even if you hate me, just open your hand.”

He flinched slightly at my touch, but he didn’t push me away. When I opened his hand, I saw a large shard of glass embedded in his palm. I slowly pulled the glass out of his hand. It wasn’t stuck deep, and with a little force, it came out easily.

Then I picked up the liquor bottle, poured it over his palm, and took out a small handkerchief from my bag hidden in my dress to wrap his hand.

“Didn’t you see the letter I left?”

“…”

“I didn’t come here because I wanted to.”

“How… can I believe that?”

“Believe whatever you want. Anyway, my feelings never mattered to you, did they?”

Adrian stood up and turned his back on me. But I moved around to face him. His wounded eyes met mine.

“You’re always like this. You hurt me on a whim, you heal me on a whim, and you leave on a whim. You push me off a cliff at the most perfect moment.”

‘Did I? Yeah, I did. But I didn’t want to… But still…’

“If that’s how you felt, then that must be what happened.”

“Yes, and despite all that, I still act like an idiot and reach out my hand when you offer yours. You’re truly amazing, Claire Ianster. You must be satisfied now that everything has gone exactly as you wanted?”

“As I wanted?”

“Are you unaware that the whole capital is abuzz with the love story between you and the Crown Prince?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. If that’s what I wanted, why would I have run away from the count’s residence in the first place?”

“You must have found out I was a Grand Duke. Isn’t that why you ran away from me?”

He was half right and half wrong.

“Think what you want. After all, now… isn’t it better for you that I’m gone?”

Adrian grabbed my arm with his injured hand.

“Better? Better for me? Do you know what kind of feelings I had following you all the way here… You, you…”

‘What feelings? What feelings do you have, exactly?’

I wanted to ask but didn’t. What was the point of all this now? From Adrian’s attitude, I was certain he had seen the letter. If so, he must know that I didn’t come here of my own free will.

I twisted my arm out of his grasp and stepped back.

“Stop it. Nothing will change now anyway. There’s no way to avoid the marriage prohibition while living in the Quinze-Nouais Empire, and you’re engaged to Celine now, too.”

“Yes, that must have been what you wanted to say. It doesn’t matter to me.”

With those words, Adrian abruptly pulled me towards him and embraced me. He then leaned his face towards mine. I knew exactly what he was about to do.

“What are you doing now?”

I glared at Adrian, who was approaching expressionlessly, and lifted my foot to stomp hard on his with my sharp heel. When he let out a grunt and released my arm, I quickly took a step back and shouted.

“Stop, now. I’ve done my part. You… you are getting engaged to Celine of your own accord. So we’re over. Whether I ran away first, or you ended it first, you can think about it all you want.”

“Yes, in the end, you wanted to put my mind at ease, make me reach out to you, and finally make me beg you. You think everything has gone exactly as you wanted, but remember this. Not everything will go your way.”

“You’re funny. If it had gone my way, you should have never seen my face again.”

But what did he mean by “not everything will go my way”? Just as I was about to ask Adrian, the lounge door suddenly burst open without warning.

 

***

 

Sebastian wanted to let the unusually tired Claire rest.

So he ordered the head chamberlain to guide Claire to the Imperial family’s lounge. Although she seemed to hesitate for a moment, Claire eventually followed his instructions.

As soon as Claire was gone, the banquet became unbelievably boring. Soon after, he saw the head chamberlain who had escorted her.

“Did you get the lady there safely?”

“Yes…”

The Crown Prince noticed the chamberlain’s uneasy demeanor, his eyes subtly wavering and his voice trailing off.

“But what?”

“Well, there was already a guest in the lounge…”

“A guest?”

Before the chamberlain could finish his sentence, Sebastian’s eyes scanned the banquet hall. Adrian was nowhere to be seen.

“Who… was it?”

“It was His Grace, the Duke of Quinze-Nouais.”

As soon as the words were spoken, Sebastian ran up to the second floor. The damned Imperial Palace was so vast. A few people looked on in bewilderment at the Crown Prince’s sudden sprint, but he had no time to mind them.

Reaching the lounge door, Sebastian paused for a moment to catch his breath. He tried to maintain his composure, but his patience didn’t last long. He flung the lounge door open.

His eyes fell upon the two people standing opposite each other, locked in a tense standoff.

As Claire looked at him with a startled expression, the Crown Prince’s head went cold.

Adrian didn’t turn his gaze towards the door, even as it opened. He simply stood with his back to the entrance, his eyes fixed solely on Claire.

“You two… were together.”

Claire quickly recovered from her shock and offered a light curtsy to the Crown Prince.

“It is a lounge, Your Royal Highness. Did you also come to rest?”

“No, I came to see if you were alright. You looked tired.”

“Yes, I’ve rested enough and was just about to return to the banquet hall.”

“Good. Then… come with me.”

 

***

 

I placed my hand on the Crown Prince’s outstretched arm and escaped from Adrian. The Crown Prince, who was walking down the hallway with a rare, hardened expression, couldn’t go on for more than a few steps before he stopped.

“What were you two talking about?”

“…Do I have to tell you?”

The Crown Prince stopped, but I didn’t. I started to walk past him.

He quickly caught up, grabbed my wrist, and led me into a random room.

The room, with its curtains drawn, was dark. It seemed to be a place where men gathered to smoke or talk politics during a banquet. He briefly left me standing in the middle of the room and paced around. But then he rushed toward me.

“I don’t want to be so petty. But I am your fiancé. You have a duty to tell me everything.”

“Your Royal Highness, I am not your fiancée yet. And I have no duty to inform you about my private conversations with Adrian.”

“Claire!”

The Crown Prince grabbed my arms and forced me to look straight at him.

“What is it?!”

When he yelled, I shouted back even louder than he did.

It was too much for both of them to torment me like this. I couldn’t stand men who treated women like their possessions.

“Why?! Why are you calling me? Yes, the laws of the Quinze-Nouais Empire say I have no right to choose my fiancé, which is why I’m here. But that doesn’t mean my heart is the property of the Crown Prince.”

“So your heart belongs to the Grand Duke?”

It was impossible to reason with him.

“No. My heart belongs to me. I didn’t realize I had to tell the Crown Prince something even a child knows. So don’t tell me what to do from now on.”

“You and I are to become partners. So you must obey my words!”

“Hah. Your Royal Highness has a very convenient memory.”

“What?”

“When did we agree to become partners? Your Royal Highness gave the order, and I am merely following it.”

At my words, the Crown Prince slowly released my arms and ran a hand through his hair.

He slowly walked over and opened the door. He waited for me to come out, then, as if nothing had happened, he hooked my arm into his and led me back to the banquet hall.

All the way back, led by his arm, I had to catch my breath. After arguing with the sun of this empire and the sword of the North, all the energy had been drained from my body.

My eyes, which had been tossed around like a soccer ball, caught sight of Celine, shining brightly alone from a distance. She wore a silver silk dress that matched her silver hair, and her hair was adorned with purple decorations. She looked like a flower blooming within flowers.

There were men everywhere who looked at Celine with shining eyes, but no one dared to approach her because she was the Grand Duke of the North’s fiancée.

Just then, Adrian stood before Celine. He had left his seat without even sharing their first dance with her, so it was now their time to dance.

It was hard to believe he was the same man who, just moments ago, had been cornering me with wounded eyes; Adrian’s demeanor was completely courteous. Only the handkerchief tied to his hand confirmed that what had just happened was real.

It was something I didn’t want to admit, but watching Adrian smile at Celine, a smile I’d only ever read about in books, caused me a great deal of pain.

“Your Royal Highness, you have to stay until the end of the banquet today, don’t you?”

“Are you tired?”

“Yes, I want to go home now.”

It wasn’t a lie; my body was shaking.

“Wait a moment. I’ll finish up here and take you home.”

“No. The Crown Prince cannot leave the first banquet of the Foundation Day festival. I can simply take the carriage.”

I adamantly refused the Crown Prince’s offer to take me home and got into the carriage alone. Only then did the tightness in my chest begin to ease a little.

Back at the mansion, after a hot bath prepared by Sally, I laid out the snacks Haley had brought in my room, and the three of us just sat around and chatted.

“Men are all untrustworthy, okay? Sally, Haley.”

“I don’t think you’re one to be giving that advice, miss.”

Seeing Sally and me bickering, Haley giggled and laughed continuously.

“Anyway, you won’t lose anything by listening to your elders, so listen to my words carefully.”

“Yes, yes. Of course, we will.”

“Especially you, Haley. You’re a pretty and feminine girl, so a lot of men will approach you. Be extra careful.”

“What about me?”

“Men need to be careful of Sally.”

“Huh?”

“Anyway, the more cautious you are with men, the better. The only things you can trust are land and property. Girls, let’s go to the market tomorrow. My typewriter hasn’t been making much profit lately, so I need to find new ways to sell my work.”

“Oh, miss. I’m going to the academy starting tomorrow.”

“What? Then why are you still here? You should go home and get ready.”

“They said classes don’t start tomorrow.”

“Then… I won’t be able to see you at home starting tomorrow.”

“…Yes.”

I squeezed Haley’s hand tight.

“Study hard, Haley. Okay? Think of it as the only way you can save your family. Hmm? Like your life depends on it!”

“Yes, I understand. But, I… this…”

Haley rummaged through the leather bag I had made for her and pulled something out.

“What is this?”

“It’s a gift Cedric and I prepared. It’s a necklace… We wanted to give you something, but everything else felt too small…”

“Wow, it’s beautiful. I’ll make sure to wear it often.”

I wasn’t just being polite; the necklace was truly beautiful. A large green sapphire hung from a simple silver chain.

“This belonged to my mother. My father gave it to her when he proposed.”

“What? I can’t accept this. How can you give me something so precious?”

“Please, just take it. We really wanted you to have it. And this necklace has a legend.”

“A legend?”

“Yes. They say that anyone who has this necklace will always find their way back, even if they get lost.”

“Oh… is that so?”

After Sally and Haley left, I lay on my bed, holding the necklace in my hand. The necklace, catching the light from the lamp, shone even more beautifully in the dark.

‘Always finding your way back might be a bit of a problem, Haley.’

As the surroundings became quiet, I couldn’t help but think of Adrian again.

‘What did he mean when he said things wouldn’t go my way?’

He was a man of few words; he wouldn’t have said that without meaning.

I could distinctly hear a carriage entering the count’s mansion on the quiet street. Getting up from the bed, I went to the window and saw Celine getting out of the carriage and walking into the garden. Adrian, who had brought her back, was also there.

The two stood facing each other under the moonlight, talking about something. Celine smiled brightly and then raised her hand to reach out and touch Adrian’s face.

Not wanting to watch anymore, I stepped away from the window and buried myself in my bed.

 

***

 

While it was mandatory to attend the first Foundation Day banquet, subsequent banquets were optional, so I didn’t attend any others.

However, I had no choice but to attend the upcoming hunting festival. After the hunting festival, the swordsmanship festival would be held.

Once the swordsmanship festival was over, the major events for the nobles would conclude, and then a festival for the Imperial citizens would take place in the city’s downtown area. During that period, it was customary for the country to use its treasury to allow the citizens to eat and rest to their heart’s content.

Time flowed mercilessly, and finally, the morning of the hunting festival arrived.

And, without fail, the Crown Prince came to my home, dressed in the exact same riding clothes as I was.

“I’ll be in your care today, Claire.”

“Yes, I’ll be in yours as well, Your Royal Highness.”

The forest where the hunting festival was held wasn’t far from the count’s mansion, so I suggested to Sebastian that we ride our horses there. The Crown Prince accepted my proposal, and we left the count’s land with a few attendants.

Even after the argument we’d had that day, the Crown Prince showed no sign of it. At this point, I couldn’t help but be curious.

“Your Royal Highness, there’s something I’m curious about.”

He sent a beautiful, picture-perfect smile my way and nodded, signaling me to speak. The now-chilly wind brushed past the Crown Prince’s golden hair.

“This is something I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious.”

“Go on.”

“The engagement between you and me was merely a political marriage arranged in the name of our families. Wasn’t it?”

“…That topic again.”

“I don’t mean to be sarcastic. So please, answer me. Why on earth are you so insistent on me?”

“You’re not being sarcastic, but you’re blaming me for being so stubborn.”

The Crown Prince gave a bitter smile, but I waited for his answer in silence.

“When I’m with you, I don’t feel… pain.”

“Pain?”

“Yes. My life, and my position, are places I have climbed to by stepping on someone else’s blood and swallowing their screams.”

“That was unavoidable.”

“It was. But no one has ever said that to me before.”

“It’s easiest to blame others. Don’t be swayed by what other people say.”

“I’m not the kind of person who is easily swayed by others’ words.”

His usual playful tone lightened the heavy atmosphere a bit. But he soon continued with a serious expression.

“But you see. Perhaps it’s because of the curses of those who died by my hand… I’ve had to suffer from a constant headache. I haven’t been free from it for a single day since I was twelve.”

“A headache?”

“Yes, it’s truly awful. And when I fall asleep, I suffer from even more terrible nightmares. But no one must ever know my condition. It’s a sign of a weak human.”

“Hmm… I wish I had some Tylenol…”

“Tylenol? What is that?”

“Nothing.”

“But you. Do you remember that day? The jewelry store where we first met.”

“Oh, you mean the place where Your Royal Highness called me a spoiled brat?”

At my words, the Crown Prince let out a small laugh and smiled brightly. It was a wonderful smile that would make anyone lose their mind.

“Yes, the moment I first saw you, I was free from that pain for the first time in a very long time. And until you ran away to the North, I didn’t have any nightmares, either. So what was I to do? I, the Crown Prince of the Empire, had no choice but to be this obsessed with you.”

He spoke lightly, but I was quite surprised. It was an illness that was never once mentioned in the original novel’s description of Sebastian. The detailed backstory about him began when he met Celine, so I assumed the illness must have disappeared once he met her. And now, I was likely taking on that role.

“When you put it that way, it makes a little more sense.”

“Is that so? Should I be happy about that?”

“Well… understanding is a good thing.”

He was a quite cheerful and knowledgeable person, so the time spent talking with him was enjoyable. I even felt a bit of sadness, thinking that if we had met a little later, we might have become good friends.

But unfortunately, the me who had entered Claire’s body did not feel my heart race for the Crown Prince.