Chapter 2.7

Tonight, I was unusually unable to sleep, so I was knitting the scarf I had brought from my house earlier today. While cursing Adrian under my breath, I was diligently knitting the scarf for him. I couldn’t imagine him wearing a blue scarf, but maybe, just maybe, if he was really cold, he might wear it once.

“Ugh.”

Suddenly, a groan came from Adrian’s room. I had never opened the adjoining door myself, so I stood still and put my ear to the door. And as if to prove that this was a bedroom for a couple, Adrian’s groans were quite loud.

“Ugh… Please…”

Before this, no sound had ever come from Adrian’s room, so I clenched and unclenched my fists, debating what to do. But when Adrian’s anguished voice was heard again, my hesitation ended.

I slowly grabbed the doorknob and turned it slightly, and the door creaked open. It was the first time I had entered his room since the day I was drenched in the rain. Moonlight poured in through the not-fully-closed curtains, and in the middle of the room, where the light ended, was a massive bed. And I could see Adrian curled into a ball in the corner of the bed, struggling in agony.

“Ugh… ugh…”

At the clearly pained moans, I ran to him. As I got closer, I could see Adrian sweating profusely, thrashing his arms in the air.

“Adrian.”

I sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his hand. But Adrian shook my hand off and slapped me so hard across the face that it made a slapping sound.

“Hey, you’re not sleeping, are you?”

But as Adrian continued to writhe in agony, I grabbed his arms more tightly and hugged him.

“It’s okay, Adrian. Snap out of it, it’s just a dream. Okay?”

Adrian thrashed his arms to get away from my grasp, but his strength was slowly weakening.

“Ugh… Mother… Mother…”

When Adrian started crying and calling for his mother, I suddenly remembered the story from the novel. The secluded castle. And the incident that forced Adrian to give up his memories.

How much time had passed? I released his arms, which no longer had the will to resist, and slowly pulled away. And sitting down next to the bed, I stroked his head, just as he had done for me.

“Are you having a dream about that day?”

I could no longer bring myself to say, “It’s okay, it’s just a dream,” to the tormented Adrian.

His breathing became steady, as if he had found some comfort. I slowly got up from the bed to go back to my room before he woke up.

But then, Adrian suddenly opened his eyes wide, sat up abruptly, and pulled me into a tight hug.

“Hah… hah…”

I gently stroked his back as he gasped for breath.

“It’s okay.”

Even though it was far from okay, that was all I could say to Adrian.

“Claire… Claire.”

He kept calling my name and hugged me tightly.

“Claire, Mother…”

“I know. You can rest easy now.”

What could he possibly be resting easy about? That incident had already torn his heart to pieces…

Adrian suddenly pulled away and held my face in both of his hands.

“Claire…”

His gaze unfocused, Adrian frantically devoured my lips. I was surprised by his sudden actions but just let him do as he pleased.

At first, he kissed me urgently, as if he were being chased, but as time went on, his actions became softer. I, too, was only thinking about calming him down at first, but as Adrian’s kiss continued, my mind began to go blank.

We hugged each other like that for a long time. Then, as if he had come to his senses a little, he slowly pulled away from me.

“Claire?”

“…Yeah.”

I answered with my eyes closed. But then I opened my eyes wide in a flash because Adrian quickly moved away from me.

“How… did you get here?”

At his flustered voice, I quickly moved away as well.

“I thought you were having a nightmare… If you’re okay now, I’ll be going.”

It was just as I was getting off the bed, with one leg on the floor. Adrian suddenly grabbed my arm. His face was stained with panic.

“Wait! Just a moment.”

I silently lit the lamp on the table next to the bed. He winced for a moment at the sudden brightness but didn’t put the light out.

After a while, Adrian seemed to have completely calmed down and returned to his usual cold expression. He stood up and moved to the sofa in the bedroom.

“Would you like a drink?”

“No.”

Adrian poured a full glass of liquor for himself and drank it.

“What just happened…”

I quickly got up and covered his mouth with my hand.

“Don’t say ‘it was a mistake,’ or ‘I’m sorry,’ or ‘forget it.’ There’s no male lead who says that and gets away with it. It’s something you can’t even imagine in Korea.”

“Korea?”

“There’s… a place like that.”

I hastily removed my hand from him and returned to my room. I said it, but my heart was aching. If I had heard him say it was a mistake, I probably would have slapped him right away.

Since when had I come to like this twisted and mean man?

When the Crown Prince suddenly appeared at the Grand Duke’s castle and grabbed my wrist, the feeling I had when I saw Adrian run to me was… relief. The feeling that it was a good thing he had come.

I had been hoping that if I continued to be as submissive as I was now, his feelings for me might change to a different color.

But I’m still afraid to reach out to him.

Because I had already read in the novel how he smiles when he falls in love, what he says to that woman, how he looks at his partner, and what kind of expression he makes.

I knew too much about him to rely on the occasional gentle look in his eyes.

 

***

 

As soon as I woke up this morning, I decided to put an end to the worries I had last night. The reason Adrian was so insistent on our engagement was likely a self-destructive one. And for some reason, the Crown Prince and Celine still weren’t engaged, even after two years.

So why was Adrian, who could have been happy with Celine, doing this with me?

When I’m curious, a direct approach is the best.

So I joined Adrian for breakfast.

“Um… Adrian, can I ask you something?”

But even when I spoke to him, he didn’t turn his gaze toward me, with the tips of his ears flushed red.

“What is it?”

“That… when you were at the count’s mansion.”

“…”

“Did you meet Celine? My sister.”

He gave me a look as if he had heard something he hadn’t expected, and just nodded without a word.

“I see… What was she like?”

“What do you mean?”

“Was she pretty?”

“Yes.”

‘You fool.’

I was so upset that I turned my head away from him. This time, he was the one who looked up at me.

It was so ridiculous that this man was still filming a melodrama while I was writing a romance fantasy.

“What’s wrong?”

I was afraid he would notice how I felt, so I didn’t look him in the eye.

“What?”

“Why do you suddenly seem… upset?”

“It’s nothing. But why didn’t you… fall in love with Celine? Or are you in love with her?”

“Celine?”

“Don’t you want to see her?”

“Why would I?”

‘Because you’re the sub-male lead.’

“You said Celine was pretty, didn’t you?”

“She’s your sister, so of course she was pretty. But is there anyone who wants to see a person they’ve never even spoken a word to?”

“What?”

“I left the count’s mansion the very next day after you ran away.”

Adrian’s expression darkened as he thought about that time. But I didn’t have time to pay attention to his expression. My eyes must have been shaking violently. But I didn’t have time to worry about that.

‘So that’s what happened?’

If Adrian and Celine’s paths never crossed because I ran away, would Adrian inevitably fall in love with her if he met her again now, as the original plot dictated?

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice that his brows were furrowing more and more with each passing moment.

“It’s times like this that I understand you.”

“Huh?”

“When you look at me like this, with that anxious look in your eyes.”

His face turned cold, as if the sweet expression he had last night was a lie.

“I want to tie you up, even your arms and legs, so you can’t think of anything else.”

‘Weren’t we just having a simple everyday conversation?’

But even so… even if I was the reason Adrian didn’t get to spend time with Celine, and even if his soul was being torn to shreds, and he was living by keeping me, who he still hated, by his side… wouldn’t I have a chance if I waited a little longer?

I wasn’t the real Claire Ianster. Couldn’t I be the salvation for this pitiful man?

Right, this is the North, so there’s no way Celine would show up here.

I reached out my hand to him.

And I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t thinking about anything else right now. That all I was thinking about was him.

I wanted to ask if it was okay for me to be a little selfish. But before my hand could touch his…

As if someone had noticed my confusion, a slight commotion started outside.

And at the same time, I felt that Ben’s footsteps were louder than usual, and the dining room door soon opened, and the news that the person I feared most had entered the castle was delivered.

“Lady Celine Ianster of Count Ianster’s family has come to visit.”

Adrian made an expression as if he didn’t understand what was happening, and the blanket fell from my lap as I jumped up.

 

***

 

“It’s been a long time, Claire.”

The fingers of Celine, who was smiling gently and putting down her teacup, were very elegant. As the protagonist of this novel, she was flawlessly beautiful. Her shining silver hair, her mysterious purple eyes… and the Celine shoulder line that Adrian had loved the most in the book.

I glanced at Adrian and saw that he was looking at Celine. A sense of defeat washed over me.

“Yes…”

“Just speak comfortably. I’m your sister, after all.”

“I will, after some time.”

“Alright, you’ll need some time. Father was very worried after you disappeared. Did you dislike your sister’s return that much?”

“It’s not… like that. I had my reasons and prepared for this in advance, so please don’t misunderstand.”

“I see… Then that’s a relief.”

Celine looked at Adrian. They met each other’s gaze.

“Thank you for taking such good care of our Claire, Your Royal Highness the Grand Duke.”

Adrian shrugged his shoulders.

“It was nothing.”

And I saw it. The blush on Celine’s face…

In truth, in the novel, Celine felt genuine pity for Adrian’s life and had feelings for him. But the brand on Adrian’s face was a fatal flaw for Celine. It was perhaps natural that the good daughter was swayed by the Crown Prince who approached her so aggressively. But now, there was no Crown Prince approaching her aggressively, and there was no brand on Adrian’s face. And Adrian was only supposed to find true happiness when he met her. His life, which he considered a painful existence, could only be saved by Celine. I suddenly felt like a foreign substance.

“If you allow it, I would like to stay at the Grand Duke’s castle for a while and spend time with Claire. You may not know this, but Claire and I never had time to get close.”

“You may.”

Celine’s beautiful voice fell on the air, and a drawn-out smile appeared on Adrian’s face. I was so surprised that Adrian could smile so gently, like a man who had lived his whole life as a noble.

Their silver hair, which shone with the same light, sparkled as it swayed toward each other. It was as if only the two of them existed in this drawing room. Just then, Adrian’s voice cut into my thoughts.

“Ah, and you’ve arrived at an opportune time.”

“Pardon?”

“My engagement to Claire is in three days. Claire will be even happier if her sister is here with her.”

“An engagement? I didn’t hear anything about that from Father.”

“The situation was urgent, so I couldn’t contact him. The oath has already been completed.”

“What? Claire, say something.”

For some reason, Celine was more agitated than necessary.

“Well… it happened.”

I was very confused, but Celine was able to pull herself together quickly. After all, Claire and the Grand Duke could never get engaged. The reason she had suddenly visited this distant place was all because of that cursed marriage ban.

When she heard from her father that Claire was now in the Grand Duke’s castle, she felt like she was going insane with anger. And then that ridiculous marriage ban was issued.

An eighteen-year-old noblewoman with black hair…

“Father, what is this all about? A marriage ban?”

Celine’s mouth trembled as she forced a smile. And she was also displeased that her father was watching her so cautiously.

“Yes, I don’t know why His Royal Highness the Crown Prince would do that.”

“And look at the conditions… Anyone can see that this is a marriage ban issued with Claire in mind.”

“That seems to be the case. Claire is at the Grand Duke’s castle now…”

“What? The Grand Duke’s castle? Are you talking about the one where Grand Duke Aurelian Quinze-Nouais is?”

“Yes, there is only one Grand Duke in this Empire…”

Hubert Ianster looked at his unfamiliar daughter. She was the spitting image of his beautiful and virtuous wife, but strangely, he couldn’t feel the same way about her. And for the past two years, Hubert had been sweating to cover up the things Celine had done since returning home.

“Ha! Didn’t you clearly tell me that talk of my engagement to His Royal Highness the Crown Prince would be coming up soon?”

“Yes, the Ianster family has produced empresses for generations. But it seems the Crown Prince still has Claire in his heart.”

Just then, a maid who was tidying up teacups next to them accidentally dropped one, and it clattered. Since it had been so quiet, the sound of the teacups clashing was a little louder than usual.

At that, Celine walked over to the maid and grabbed her by the collar without a word.

“You insignificant girl, are you ignoring me now, too, is that it?”

“Pardon? Oh… oh, no, my lady.”

The maid was already trembling in Celine’s grip, as her actions were already famous among the servants. Celine raised her hand and slapped the maid across the cheek without mercy.

Hubert Ianster squeezed his eyes shut. He had heard about it, but this was the first time he had seen his daughter act like that in front of his eyes. It was a gesture that only a street ruffian would make. Hubert couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

But Celine smiled at the Count as if nothing had happened and curtsied. The corners of her forced smile were trembling.

“Father. Then, I’ll be going upstairs.”

Hubert got goosebumps from the sudden change in his daughter’s expression.

“…Alright.”

But the Count couldn’t bring himself to scold Celine. This was the daughter he had missed so much it felt like his guts were being torn out while she was lost.

Celine, who was about to leave, turned around and smiled brightly at the Count, who was holding his forehead with a headache, as if nothing had happened.

“Father. But I think I should go to the Grand Duke’s castle.”

“To the Grand Duke’s castle?”

“Yes. My sister is acting improperly, so as her sister, shouldn’t I go and educate her properly? And I should also explain the marriage ban to her so she won’t be surprised.”

“Celine…”

“Yes?”

“Never mind. You may go.”

“Yes.”

Count Ianster watched his daughter leave the study with a light step. And he suddenly realized that he was worried not about the daughter in front of him, but about the one who had disappeared without a trace two years ago. To be worried about Claire instead of Celine, the Count couldn’t believe his own feelings.

When Celine returned to her room, she finally threw off the mask she had been wearing.

‘A marriage ban, a marriage ban?’

“Aaaaaaargh!”

When Choi Hajin learned that she had become the protagonist of this novel, she thought she had been given a new chance at life. To seize that opportunity, she tried very hard to pretend to be good, even though she was not. Of course, she didn’t forgive everything that bothered her. But what was this result?

So now, Hajin decided she would no longer play the role of the good older sister. She was consumed with the thought that she had to personally ruin Claire, who had messed everything up.

This cute little act committed by the Crown Prince, who had returned empty-handed after going to find his fiancée, was what made Celine turn her steps toward the North. A royal knight carrying the decree for the marriage ban would arrive in the North sometime tomorrow.

 

***

 

Celine, who was very surprised by the news of my engagement, quickly calmed herself and put on a beautiful smile again. Just then, Butler Ben entered the drawing room and whispered something to Adrian. A butler doesn’t approach the master when there are guests. This meant something urgent had happened.

 

After hearing Ben’s words, Adrian came over to me, placed a hand on my shoulder, and spoke kindly.

“Claire, I have to go to the border for a bit.”

“Pardon? Is there another attack from the Eastern continent?”

“It’s a kind of preemptive raid to secure food before the roads are cut off by the heavy snow. You don’t have to worry too much.”

With Celine present, I showed Adrian some respect for the first time in a while. We looked like a loving couple to anyone watching.

“Then shouldn’t we postpone the engagement ceremony?”

At my words, he came closer and whispered into my ear so only I could hear.

“You’re always looking for an opportunity to run away from me. Snap out of it, Claire.”

I flinched at his playful voice and pushed him away with my elbow, and Adrian chuckled softly and moved a little away from me.

“I’ll be back in three days. Don’t worry, my fiancée. There’s no way our engagement ceremony will be postponed.”

After realizing my feelings, my face, which was trying to assert that I was eighteen, kept turning red. Adrian may not have seen it, but Celine must have seen my ears turn red.

“You’re amazing.”

A moment later, Adrian left, and Celine’s atmosphere suddenly changed.

“Pardon?”

“Where have you been all this time? Was this all part of your scheme?”

“A scheme? What are you talking about?”

“You suddenly disappeared, and it turns out you were in the Grand Duke’s castle all this time.”

Her sudden change in attitude was one thing, but these were not the words that the Celine from the novel would have ever said. I just stared at her without answering.

“No, Claire. I’m a little tired, so ask the butler to guide me to a room. The north is damned dry and cold. Have them prepare a warm bath for me.”

Celine smiled sweetly at me, and I felt goosebumps all over my body. She left the drawing room with the maid she had brought from the count’s mansion.

‘Celine, weren’t you supposed to be a good, kind girl? And what was with that phrasing—‘damned cold’…?’

First, I gave the order to guide Celine to a room, and then I went back to my room and tried to remember the plot of the novel.

‘Did Celine regress? Or was she possessed?’

But I couldn’t clearly remember the story of a novel I had lightly read more than two years ago.

And that wasn’t what was important right now. What was important was that Celine had appeared at the Grand Duke’s castle and had met Adrian.

‘What’s going to happen now? Why on earth did I fall for Adrian? Can my own heart not escape the plot of the novel?’

After much worrying, I finally fell asleep and had a terrible dream.