Chapter 84

I was far from agreeing, but everyone else moved with startling speed to their designated positions. Sir Derek and the coachman hitched the carriage and left the fiefdom immediately, while Winnie headed for the gate carrying the most vital merchant goods.

 

Before I could even process what was happening, I found myself galloping alone with Freyer on horseback.

 

Clip-clop, clip-clop—

 

We tore through the air, the wind so fierce it made it difficult to even keep my eyes open. My long hair whipped violently in the speed; it must have been a nuisance to his vision, but Freyer didn’t seem to care at all.

 

Thump! Neigh—!

 

Without a moment’s hesitation, the horse kicked off a rock and leapt into the air, my hair trailing wildly behind us.

 

‘Is that… a river?’

 

Through my squinted eyes, I saw a raging river below. Gravity took hold, and we were plummeting toward the water.

 

“I know these woods well.”

 

When Freyer said he knew the forest, I should have asked exactly how he knew it.

 

‘I shouldn’t have just taken him at his word…’

 

Regret washed over me for not stopping him when he steered away from the main road and into the deep brush. I wondered if Freyer didn’t know the forest so much as he knew the shortcut to the afterlife.

 

‘This is how I go.’

 

I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped the reins—and Freyer’s hands—as if they were my only lifeline. I expected to be submerged in icy water, but I didn’t feel so much as a single droplet.

 

Thud—!

 

I opened my eyes to find us on solid ground beside the river.

 

Was this already the afterlife? I’d heard you can’t feel touch when you’re dead, but everything felt incredibly vivid.

 

‘I’m alive…’

 

It felt like my heart had dropped all the way to the earth’s mantle before snapping back. My chest was thumping like a rabbit pounding rice cakes.

 

“This was the only way to make it in time. There are no more cliffs ahead, so you can relax.”

 

As I sat there with my head bowed, reeling from the trip between heaven and hell, Freyer called my name.

 

“Lilithia?”

 

It wasn’t the right time to bring this up, but I felt so wronged I had to say it.

 

‘Do you have any idea how I saved you…?’

 

If I were asked to write a book about how hard I worked to prevent the magic stone accident during the Hunting Festival, I could easily fill a whole volume.

 

“Your Highness! How many lives do you think you have?!”

 

I heard the sound of a small chuckle.

 

“!”

 

“Just one. I only have one.”

 

His voice was laced with amusement as he wrapped one arm around me from behind.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

We were already close, but the reduced distance meant I could feel the thumping of his heart against my back.

 

“I didn’t realize you worried for my life this much.”

 

“That’s because—!”

 

Why was I getting so angry?

 

“Everyone’s life is im-important!”

 

“Is that the only reason?”

 

A nonsensical answer had slipped out. But of course, it was natural to worry about my favorite character’s life. Freyer let out a soft laugh and tightened his hold on me with his thick arm.

 

“Whatever the reason, I’m honored that you worried for me.”

 

His pleasant voice brushed against my ear, making them turn bright red. Whoosh. I lowered my head quickly to hide my blushing face.

 

“I would have worried… even if it were someone else.”

 

I mumbled to myself, too embarrassed to look up. My own heart felt strange, struggling with these turbulent emotions.

 

“I’ll be careful from now on, just as you said. Hold on tight, Lilithia.”

 

He gripped the reins with his remaining hand and urged the horse forward with his legs. His breath and his low-toned voice tickled my heart so much that I didn’t even have time to feel motion sickness.

 

 

***

 

 

Crackle, crackle—

 

The sound of a campfire echoed through the silent forest. Relying on the reddish glow of the flames, I traced a map with my finger.

 

“Our location is…”

 

Because Freyer had been jumping over rocks and cutting through the woods instead of taking the main road, I had no idea where we were. I tried to estimate our position based on the mountain ranges, terrain, and the fiefs we had passed.

 

We were in a forest on the path to Pearching Kingdom. From here, we could arrive in two days if we maintained the same speed.

 

“You’re amazing, aren’t you?”

 

I gave a thumbs-up to the white horse, Dino, standing beside me. Without much exaggeration, his speed was practically that of an airplane.

 

“How are you not tired? Is there a secret?”

 

Freyer had mentioned giving him delicious fodder once they returned to the palace. I was convinced the imperial feed must contain ginseng and eel tails. Otherwise, this recovery speed was unbelievable. Maybe he was drinking potions? I had many “rational” suspicions.

 

“I’m exhausted even though I was just sitting there.”

 

Traveling by horseback was a massive drain on physical strength. Fortunately, my decision not to eat in case of nausea had worked; the motion sickness had subsided. It seemed the symptoms were different when I wasn’t trapped inside a stuffy carriage.

 

“Don’t eat all the good stuff yourself. Share some with me.”

 

I leaned my chin on my hands, resting my elbows on my knees as I talked to Dino.

 

“Do you really drink boiled red ginseng or something?”

 

As I stared at the bag hanging from Dino’s side, the horse snorted and scraped the ground with his front hoof as if saying no. He exhaled a huff of air as if offended that a human was trying to steal his snacks.

 

“Hmph, you’re sharp.”

 

It was a one-sided conversation, but we seemed to understand each other well enough. I was rambling on when I heard footsteps and Freyer’s voice.

 

“You’re entertaining yourself well. I was worried.”

 

Freyer, who had told me to stay put for a moment, returned with a handful of unfamiliar herbs. There was still a bit of dirt on his sleeves that he hadn’t brushed off.

 

“Did you gather herbs in the forest?”

 

Freyer sat down beside me and began putting the herbs and water into a canteen over the fire.

 

“It’s a herb that’s good for motion sickness.”

 

“For me?”

 

He gave a small nod, poured the boiling water into a portable cup, and handed it to me.

 

“Careful, it’s hot.”

 

I looked down at the pale green water reflecting my face. I had always wondered: they might teach how to build a fire in imperial lessons, but do they really teach which herbs work for motion sickness?

 

“Did you study herbalism?”

 

“I think you’re misunderstanding. Herbalism isn’t part of a Prince’s education. Neither is learning how to start a fire.”

 

Freyer spoke as he poked at the fire with a stick.

 

“I learned these things unintentionally during my childhood.”

 

“Your childhood…?”

 

“The only memories I have from before I lived in the Imperial Palace are essentially a bloody struggle for survival in the forest.”

 

His expression sank into a deep abyss.

 

“How to build a fire, which herbs cure nausea, how to find the fastest path through the woods… things like that.”

 

Freyer spoke calmly, but his heart felt like the charred ashes of a spent campfire. My heart ached at the realization of the hardships he had endured as a child.

 

“How old were you then…?”

 

“Five? Maybe six?”

 

Freyer started to give a hollow laugh but quickly composed himself.

 

“Perhaps due to the shock, most of my memories have vanished, so I can’t recall exactly.”

 

The “shock” likely referred to the time his mother, Felicia, passed away. Freyer’s childhood isn’t explained in the novel. It only mentions that Felicia, a concubine, fled while pregnant with him, and that upon her death, Freyer became the tragic prince.

 

“It’s all in the past.”

 

His shoulders, which had always seemed so reliable, felt unusually desolate. Just then, a scene flashed through my mind. A dream of a silver-haired boy who said he was waiting for his mother.

 

Could it be?

 

“Your Highness… was your childhood nickname ‘Sun’?”

 

“My mother gave me that name, telling me I was like her only sun and to shine brighter than anyone else.”

 

Oh my god. I covered my mouth with both hands.

 

“My mother gave me this name!”

 

The dream where I met a child waiting for a mother who promised to return.

 

“Your Highness… I mean, are you still waiting for your mother?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Just…! My mother passed away early, so there are times I miss her.”

 

Freyer’s expression stiffened for a moment before relaxing. Finally, he lifted his eyelids with a faint smile.

 

“I’m not sure. I’ve spent so long fervently hoping she wouldn’t appear.”

 

“Hoping she wouldn’t appear…?”

 

“My mother is always in the dreams that deny my very existence.”

 

A nightmare. Even though it was just a thought, his eyes trembled with anxiety.

 

“This isn’t a pleasant conversation. Let’s stop here. You should rest well if we’re going to push through tomorrow without stopping.”

 

“…”

 

“Lilithia?”

 

“…Yes! Let’s do that!”

 

I nodded vigorously, like a thief caught in the act.

 

“You go to sleep first. I’ll drink a bit more of this tea since I’m worried about the motion sickness.”

 

Sensing the shift in atmosphere, Freyer didn’t say much. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes.

 

“It’s fine if you don’t stop my nightmares. Just one night….”

 

The things Freyer had said to me before… I hadn’t understood their meaning then. But why did little Freyer appear in my dream? I stayed awake, lost in thought, staring at the burning campfire until the dawn began to break.