Chapter 16

“You look happy.”

He had searched for her, and meeting her at the banquet made him feel like he owned the whole world. All the emotional suffering he had endured was forgotten.

However, seeing the Crown Prince approach Lilithia, he couldn’t go near her. Watching her smile with his half-brother, the Crown Prince, made his heart ache bitterly.

Freyer held onto a small hope when Lilithia briefly glanced in his direction.

‘I hoped she would reject him and come over to where I was.’

It was a futile hope, as there was no chance for him to approach her. Before he knew it, they were heading toward the center of the banquet hall. Under the chandelier, they looked like a well-matched pair of lovers. All the light in the banquet hall was focused on them, and the space they occupied felt like a different world from his.

Lilithia looked awkward and hesitant, but the Crown Prince was leading her, smiling brightly. Watching Lilithia’s radiant smile, Freyer drooped his head in despair.

‘Can I make her smile like that? I’m not sure…’

He couldn’t confirm whether he could protect that bright smile. Freyer’s mood was like an abyss.

“Would it have been better if I had more power?”

If he had decided to secure power in the past, perhaps he wouldn’t be regretting this now. If so… he wouldn’t be just staring blankly at her.

Why did he always feel so intimidated whenever he stood next to his older brother? He hated his past self, and he bitterly regretted the days he spent shrinking away.

Just then, he saw her step on the Crown Prince’s foot by mistake, her eyes wide with shock. They exchanged glances with bright smiles. Freyer squeezed his eyes shut.

“Reality is like a nightmare.”

A sense of anxiety, like standing on a cliff edge, washed over him. Unable to bear looking at them, Freyer turned away.

***

Following the Crown Prince’s lead, the hem of my dress swished, creating a breeze that chilled my legs.

‘Ugh… It’s cold.’

Just as goosebumps rose slightly and I shivered, I saw a honey-colored head of hair heading out of the banquet hall, past the Crown Prince.

‘Nazlee?’

Honey-colored hair was rare, so the possibility that it was Nazlee was high.

Was it really Nazlee? Unable to be 100% certain, I tried to lift my head to check behind the Crown Prince. Just then, the Crown Prince’s hand turned my body, shifting my sight.

“Wait, just a moment.”

If it was Nazlee, I needed to follow her immediately! I needed to confirm that Freyer would save Nazlee. But the Crown Prince seemed not to hear me and continued to lead the dance.

I tried hard to turn my head and look at the door Nazlee had headed out of. My view changed again! I felt dizzy.

As I looked around, left and right.

Crunch—

I heard and felt the sensation of something being crushed under my foot. I immediately knew what the sound was. My face turned sickly white.

‘I… stepped on the Crown Prince’s foot?’

“I feel like my foot is going to disappear.”

I cautiously looked down at the Crown Prince’s foot, as his voice sounded unconcerned. I saw a shoe that looked like it had been stepped on more than once or twice.

The earth-colored shoe was covered with gray, dusty heel marks.

‘How many times did I step on it…!’

I slowly raised my head with a chilling feeling. And I saw the Crown Prince wearing a subtle smile.

‘What does that smile mean?’

My eyes shook violently at the Crown Prince’s expression, as if an earthquake had struck. There’s something hidden in that smile…

‘You’re finished now, I’ve endured enough. I will severely punish you for the crime of stepping on the Crown Prince’s foot. Is that what it means…?’

The bright light from the chandelier looked like the blade on a guillotine.

‘Freyer, I’m sorry. My capabilities only go this far. I only wished for your happiness… And Father, I apologize. The hope for the trade guild’s success seems to have been a great folly. Your daughter goes now…’

I tightly closed my eyes, anticipating being immediately thrown onto the cold floor. But contrary to my mental preparation, I gasped as a hand pulled my body closer.

“Hup—”

I was pulled even closer to the Crown Prince’s body. The distance was so close that I could feel his inhales and exhales. My body stiffened.

‘This is too close…?’

The Crown Prince smiled faintly.

“I don’t know who you are looking for, but I think it would be best to concentrate on the dance right now.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

To understand me so broadly, even though I had stomped his foot into nonexistence. The Crown Prince was a person who matched the idiom of ‘complete perfection, utterly without flaw.’

‘I must confirm it as soon as the dance is over.’

I withdrew my gaze from searching for Nazlee and moved according to the Crown Prince’s lead. I tensed every muscle in my body to avoid stepping on the Crown Prince’s foot again.

When the music reached its finale. I was finally able to step away from the center of the banquet hall.

‘It’s finally over.’

My whole body, from head to toe, was aching. I immediately turned my head, busy confirming if the owner of the honey-colored hair I saw earlier was indeed Nazlee.

‘It must have been Nazlee. She’s not visible. And Freyer seems to be gone too.’

I couldn’t see Freyer in the corner of the banquet hall where he had been. It seemed he had moved to the terrace to avoid the banquet.

Although dancing with the Crown Prince was an unforeseen detour, everything seems to be going according to my plan!

‘Still, just in case, I should check if the events happened as planned.’

Just as I was about to leave in a hurry, the Crown Prince’s voice reached me.

“It seems you have somewhere you need to go.”

Oh, right. In the momentary flow of the situation working out, I forgot about the Crown Prince. It was my mistake.

I gave the Crown Prince an awkward smile and said.

“Something urgent has come up for me. I apologize.”

“Not at all. It’s a shame, but if something urgent has come up, isn’t it right that you go? Then, I will send an invitation to the Baron’s residence, looking forward to our next meeting.”

“Yes! See you next time!”

Leaving the Crown Prince behind, I headed out of the banquet hall to search for Nazlee.

***

Freyer retreated to the terrace.

“As expected, no one is here.”

This area, quite far from the banquet hall, was always empty. Although lovers occasionally strayed to this secluded spot, it was rare enough to count on one hand.

Sometimes even the cleaning servants forgot to clean this area. There were times when fallen leaves blown by the wind piled up thickly, and he had also seen thick snow accumulation.

This was the only sanctuary where Freyer, attending the banquet, could escape. Freyer leaned his body listlessly against the terrace railing and sighed deeply.

“Ha…”

His heart was terribly heavy.

‘The image of my brother and Lilithia won’t disappear…’

He squeezed his eyes shut to erase the image of their happiness from his mind, but the scene from the banquet hall came back vividly, making it feel like a punishment from God.

“If this is meant as advice to face reality, it’s too cruel.”

Freyer slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the dark sky. Normally, the sky would be sparkling with countless stars. But tonight, the stars decorating the night sky were invisible. It was a pitch-black darkness, as if mirroring Freyer’s heart.

The cold autumn wind blew through the gaps in his clothes, chilling his whole body. Freyer hugged himself with both arms as if to stave off the cold. But it was insufficient to warm Freyer’s anxious heart.

“Pathetic.”

He had chased her desperately over a single fragile hope. A hope he’d believed was divine mercy after a lifetime of hell.

Finally finding her felt like a gift from the heavens. He had hoped she might feel the same.

“Was it arrogance…”

All his hopes had crumbled after the Crown Prince appeared. Freyer shook his head, trying to shake off that feeling. He recalled the reason why he couldn’t approach her.

Nazlee Idarand. Every time he saw her face, which resembled his mother, the image of his mother spitting blood and closing her eyes flashed before him like a revolving lantern. The woman named Nazlee had never harmed him.

“My resentment is misplaced…”

Freyer slammed his fist down onto the railing. The white wooden railing slightly dented under Freyer’s touch. He felt like he was becoming a monster himself. Finally, Freyer repeatedly rubbed his face dry. Suddenly, Freyer was seized by a peculiar feeling.

“Could it be that my brother fell in love with Miss Lilithia at first sight?”

The sight of Ivailo looking at Lilithia, pouring out what looked like the gaze of a man in love, was suspicious.

Perhaps because they were half-brothers, sharing the same blood, they were interested in the same woman? But no matter how he thought about it, the reason seemed strange.

“No way. Could he have intentionally approached her because of me…”

Freyer shook his head vehemently. It was an absurd thought. His brother had always been hostile toward him. But what would he gain by doing such a thing? It must be his own persecution complex. It must be his defense mechanism for not being able to approach her himself.

“You’re pathetic, Freyer Lundberg.”

The nightmares were eating away at him and eventually eroding him. He had to cut off his descent into a thought-pit of self-destruction. He looked ridiculous, digging his own hole and wallowing in a grave of thought.

Would things get better if he conveyed his feelings to her?

‘Lilithia, that you seem to have stopped my nightmare.’

Freyer tightly clenched his fist and looked up at the sky. The dark sky was now sparkling with countless stars. God was not punishing him.

He was just afraid.

“I hoped she would realize it herself.”

Freyer walked back toward the banquet hall with a lighter heart than before.

“I must meet her. Right now.”