Chapter 90

“Haa.”

Nine had been sighing deeply ever since he returned to his office after his usual morning training. It wasn’t because of the unprecedented assassination attempt at the Eclipse Duchy a few days prior.

‘What on earth is it?’

The real problem was that starting with the memory he first regained that day, other memories were also returning one by one. The memories were not returning regularly, chronologically, or according to importance, tailored to Nine’s convenience, but chaotically.

He might be processing documents when suddenly,

“Ugh.”

A memory would surge into his mind, accompanied by a headache, like reading a notice urging his participation in the graduation ceremony of the Dragonia Academy. On some days, a memory of training, clashing wooden swords with the knights, would surface, or perhaps the memory of a day returning damp with blood after monster subjugation at an unknown time. These were things he could mostly understand, so even if the headaches disrupted his daily life, they weren’t a major issue. There was nothing confusing about them either.

However.

“I dated that Lady, wearing commoners’ clothes?”

The memory that surfaced during his morning training was extremely confusing for Nine. He couldn’t understand how such a thing could have happened, given the memory of the aphrodisiac incident he recalled while dealing with the assassins. In this newly recalled memory, Nine was holding Chacha’s hand, walking through a night market, and smiling happily.

“Ha! That’s preposterous. To do such a thing with the woman who caused that incident…”

He tried to push away the lingering afterimage of the memory and rubbed his face dry.

Just then, Van entered and asked Nine, “Shall I bring all the estate-related documents here this time too, Your Grace?”

He had recently recalled the memory of Chacha receiving a pregnancy diagnosis from Tully, so he had taken the estate business away from her. Even if he didn’t hold favorable feelings for her, Nine was not a heartless person to make a pregnant woman work. After all, the child in Chacha’s belly was also his.

When Nine nodded, Van began piling up a new mountain of documents with a somber expression. Nine, watching the stack of papers, suddenly asked, “I heard she’s been low on energy lately. What did Tully say?”

Though there was no explicit subject, Van skillfully understood the intent of the question and replied, “She said there were no particular issues. She’s healthy, just lacks appetite and energy.”

“…”

Nine tapped the desk with his index finger. 

‘I thought it was because she was shocked after encountering the assassins… I don’t understand why her complexion is fading when she still has the Duchess’s seal and authority, and no work to do.’

After a moment of contemplation, Nine frowned. 

‘Why am I concerned about that Lady’s well-being?’

Slightly annoyed, Nine looked back at the documents and then thought again. 

‘It’s unavoidable because I have to worry about the child in her belly, not the Lady herself.’

Having asked and answered himself, and thus finding conviction, Nine quickly shook off the annoyance and began to focus on the documents again.

***

However, Nine’s strange behavior didn’t stop for over a month. Just walking aimlessly, he would suddenly find himself near Chacha. Of course, he would pull himself together and stop, ensuring she didn’t notice him. Nine mostly moved away or took a detour to avoid her, but occasionally, there were times when he simply couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Like today.

“Tsk.”

He let out a short click of his tongue and beckoned to the servant who was assisting him a few steps behind. The servant hurried over, waiting for Nine’s command. She subtly glanced to check where Chacha was, as she was now accustomed to the fact that when called like this, Nine’s commands often related to Chacha.

“The Lady’s clothes are too thin for the cold weather. Prepare a mink cloak. And she seems to have lost some weight, so tell the head chef to prepare a nourishing meal today, and if she has no appetite, serve her the carrot potage she likes.”

“Yes!”

Whenever Nine gave such commands for Chacha, the servants would all nod enthusiastically with happy expressions. Then they would rush off to execute the order.

Nine watched them leave, then suddenly realized something and frowned. 

‘How do I know that Lady likes carrot potage?’

But the question didn’t linger long. Norman, who had approached him, said, “I have something to report regarding the Count Laurel matter.”

At his words, Nine walked toward the office. Even while doing so, he unconsciously looked back at Chacha one last time, though he seemed oblivious to this gesture, his face placid.

Back in the office, Nine took the documents from Norman. He skimmed the neatly organized report and a faint, chilling smile appeared on his face.

“There’s something behind Count Laurel. A religion…”

“That religion might be connected to the unusual occurrence of monsters this time.”

“Let’s delve deeper into this religion. Also, notify the Imperial Family. And as for these documents, I will deliver them to Lady Iris myself.”

Nine collected the papers and rose from his seat. Even at that moment, the image of someone with pink hair surfaced in his mind, but he had no intention of showing her these documents. Nine couldn’t tell if it was because she was pregnant or because he couldn’t trust her.

***

It was only when everyone was asleep that Nine found some free time and summoned Iris to the greenhouse. He thought it was best to quickly deliver the information regarding the Laurel Count family.

Iris now seemed quite adept at reading and writing, as she didn’t take long to examine the documents. Iris, with a surprised expression, called out to Nine.

“Your Grace, this…”

“Ugh!”

At that moment, Nine groaned, clutching his temples. Memories were surging in again with a headache. But the pain was more prolonged than usual, and a large number of memories were flooding in.

“Ugh…!”

A cozy space that seemed to have all the pink flowers in the world, and within it, the most beautifully cascading pink hair.

“I know. Our start and our sequence were all a mess.”

Kneeling before her and presenting her with a ring,

“Would you not give me one more chance?”

Her face, covering her mouth with both hands in surprise as she looked at him, was vividly recalled.

“I love you, Lady. Will you marry me once more?”

Even the tremble in his voice, which was uncharacteristic of him…

A tear rolled down Nine’s cheek.

“D-Duke?”

Iris, who had moved closer to him at some point, was flustered and helped him up. Nine, without even recognizing who was beside him, thrashed in the memories that overwhelmed him. When all the memories returned, he felt suffocated by the actions he had taken. He squeezed out a voice that sounded like he was being strangled, burying his face in his hands.

“…I, I loved Chacha. No, I love her.”

The memories and the emotions within those memories swept over him so suddenly that he couldn’t regain his composure, but after uttering the most important words to himself, a sense of peace gradually settled in.

“I have to apologize.”

That was the first thought that came to mind after regaining his calm. Nothing else could surface. Recalling the pain she must have suffered, the accumulated karma was so heavy that he had no idea how to beg for forgiveness.

As he mumbled with shaky eyes, Iris, who was supporting him next to him, spoke.

“Yes, apologize.”

“…”

Only then did Nine realize the presence standing beside him and turned to look at Iris. Iris’s eyes sparkled like any young lady her age whose heart was fluttering over a love story, and she said, “Express your honest feelings. Forgiving or not is Lady Chacha’s choice, so just be honest!”

“…”

Nine nodded. As she said, all he could do was convey his sincere feelings and ask for forgiveness.

Iris smiled contentedly at the sight of Nine.

“Would you like to practice now?”

Nine stared at her blankly. 

‘I have to apologize, but how? What sincere feelings should I express?’

In normal circumstances, he would have refused the suggestion to practice and rushed to see Chacha, but Nine, crushed by guilt, was not in his right mind. He wanted to calmly contemplate and organize the words he would say to her.

Nine, who was in turmoil for a long time, knelt on one knee. Various excuses came to mind and then disappeared in an instant. But within that chaos, Nine found the words he should say and the words he wanted to say.

“…I love you. It’s only you.”

He vowed to himself that he must convey these words to her. That though he had given her much pain, his love for her would not change.

Nine decided that he would apologize to her as soon as the day broke.

But the next day.

“…Chacha.”

When Nine went to see her, he was greeted only by an empty room and a single letter left behind by the owner.