Chapter 9

“Do you remember? Whenever you cried alone in the study, I would hold you and comfort you like this.”

There were such times. In the past, Edelis would often cry after reading books in the study. Because she was killed by the Emperor, because her father committed treason, because her family was massacred. Because even her mother—whose face she could now only recall through a portrait—had her grave desecrated, her remains decapitated and discarded in a field. Because while she and her family were shattered to pieces, the Emperor laughed happily with the heroine as if none of it mattered. She hated him for it. 

During those times when she cried in the study, Lehan, somehow always knowing, would appear and hold her, patting her back to soothe her. Just like now.

“When I held you like this, you would always calm down.”

Lehan said with a faint laugh in his voice, unable to hide his delight, pulling her into a tighter embrace. Being in his arms brought back memories. Lehan had always been nearby, as her personal guard. It had always been his role to comfort her after she glimpsed the grim future in those books. Even though, from his perspective, she must have been a difficult young lady who burst into tears unexpectedly, he always offered gentle comfort. It was also his task to listen to her endless complaints after reading something distressing.

“That’s why, every time you pushed me away saying you were fine, you wouldn’t know how disappointed I felt.”

Feeling his hand comforting her just as he did in the past, Edelis felt as if she had gone back to the time before Lehan had left. Although many years had passed, the repeated nature of the memory helped her quickly find peace of mind. His hand was still warm. For the first time in a while, it felt like blood was flowing beneath her skin again.

“……Lehan.”

“Are you all right now?”

Edelis gave a small nod. She wasn’t fully okay yet. Lehan was her childhood friend, someone who she had grown up with —and the Emperor who would one day kill her. It was true that she had trusted him wholeheartedly to protect her, and it was also true that she had seen him kill her in the future. She wanted to believe the book was lying, but if it were, how could she explain Lehan’s presence before her now?

‘Edelis Brill, who became Empress, meets the Emperor—a former gladiator named Lehan.’

In her mind, Lehan and the Emperor still existed as separate people. The one who treated her kindly and shared her childhood was Lehan. The one who would kill her was the Emperor. Though they were the same man, she couldn’t reconcile them as one. Lehan, unaware of the turmoil in her heart, spoke with concern.

“You must’ve been very shocked, suddenly collapsing like that.”

“Ah… that…”

“I’m sorry you had to see such a disturbing sight. I’ll be more careful from now on.”

Indeed, the sight of Lehan holding a sword dripping with blood wasn’t easy on the heart. Especially with the corpses piled at his feet. It felt like at any moment, just like in the book, her father would be dragged out and executed. Just recalling it sent a chill down her spine, and Edelis tried to push the image from her mind. When she avoided Lehan’s gaze in silence, he gave an awkward smile. Still, she knew what had happened earlier wasn’t an attempt to kill her but to protect her. She was not so shameless as to ignore the fact that he had saved her without even offering thanks.

“Thank you, Lehan. You saved my life. Thank you for rescuing me.”

“I promised long ago that I would protect you. I hope nothing like this happens again, but no matter the situation, I will always save you.”

In the past, she would’ve nodded gratefully. Now, all she could wish for was that he wouldn’t kill her. Even if he saved her today, he could still kill her in the end.

“Yes. Promise me.”

Edelis gave a faint smile. Then, in the silence that followed, she began to feel uncomfortable with the situation.

“…I’m all right now, so… can you let go?”

She wanted to keep some distance from Lehan. So that, when the heroine eventually appeared, she could walk away without any lingering feelings. Seeing him again had brought her joy. Despite his unfamiliar appearance, they had shared happy memories together. But more than that—she wanted to live. If that meant turning away from him, she could.

At her request, Lehan stopped patting her back. Then he called her name softly from where she remained in his embrace. When she raised her head and met his gaze, he said calmly:

“Edelis.”

“Yes?”

“Back then, and even now, I’ve never felt like letting go of you just because you were ‘all right.’”

Now that she thought about it, he had said something similar earlier—how it saddened him every time she pushed him away.

“Before, I had no choice but to let go because my status was too low. But that’s no longer the case, so I don’t want to let go.”

Instead, he hugged her even more tightly.

“If anything, I want to make up for everything I couldn’t do back then.”

“…Why?”

But Lehan simply curled his lips into a grin without answering. The affection in his eyes, the unwavering gaze fixed on her—Edelis felt as if she had already heard his answer even without him saying a word. Still, she didn’t want to ask. If she heard it, she was certain she would regret it later. Lehan didn’t press her. He only seemed intent on closing the distance that had grown between them during their time apart.

“Don’t I seem more dependable now?”

In the past, when she cried herself to sleep, he couldn’t even lift her up—he had to wait for someone else to come find her. Thinking of that, Lehan suddenly lifted her into his arms. Caught off guard, Edelis instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. She could see in his eyes that he was hoping for an answer, and Edelis let out a weak laugh. Up until the previous night—before she learned he was the Emperor—she had certainly thought that way.

“You’re right… I don’t even think I could reach your shoulders anymore.”

It felt like a distant memory now, as if it were a lie that they’d once stood eye to eye just before they parted.

“We can confirm that later. I’ve no intention of putting you down right now.”

“But I’ll be heavy…”

Edelis suddenly remembered how she had devoured her last meal before planning to flee. She thought that before the Emperor could kill her with a sword, she might die first from the shame of gaining weight. Lehan, unaware of these thoughts, laughed heartily.

“Are you being serious?”

Fortunately, she was only wearing a light chemise now, not a heavy formal dress. If she had been dressed up properly, Lehan might’ve hesitated before picking her up. Still, even lifting an adult woman briefly was no easy feat, and here he was holding her steadily in his arms.

“…Even my father struggled to hold me like this when I was seven.”

“It’s not hard for me. I could hold you all night.”

“No thanks. Put me down.”

When Edelis spoke firmly, Lehan reluctantly set her down on the bed. The lingering touch of his hands made her stare at them without meaning to.

‘Don’t get the wrong idea… The one Lehan likes isn’t me.’

His large, calloused hands gently swept Edelis’s golden hair behind her ear. It was such a simple gesture—one he had done countless times before—but this time it felt different. Maybe because the person doing it had changed. Or maybe it was the emotion behind it.

Edelis froze, unable to respond, but Lehan smiled gently at her.

“You’ll be all right. I’ll always protect you. So don’t be afraid.”

‘Always?’

That was not a word she was supposed to hear.

‘Always? That means I’ll always have to be with the Emperor!’

To spend every day with him, not knowing when he might stab her—Edelis had planned only to quietly save money in the palace until the heroine appeared, then disappear without a trace. But always? Being close meant more chances for confrontation.

“You must be busy… You don’t have to—”

“Edelis.”  Lehan gently interrupted her with a smile still on his face.

“Yes?”

“Why do you think I stayed away from you for seven years?”

‘Because you became Emperor and wanted to kill me!’  she couldn’t say that aloud. There may not have been a sword around, but she wasn’t about to invite trouble. Besides, even saying that might count as one of the ‘misdeeds’ in the prophecy—something that could lead to her death.

“I stayed away for seven years… to protect you. I couldn’t see you, but it was to keep you safe. And for each day I missed you, I’ll stay by your side from now on.”

“I’m fine. You don’t have to—”

“I’m not fine. Just like before we parted, I’ll always be with you.”

He declared it with a clear, bright smile, and Edelis could only respond with a conflicted expression. Everything he said was the opposite of what she wanted.

“You must be busy…”

“I’ll always have time for you.”

When Edelis hesitated, unable to speak, Lehan held out his hand to her.

“You must be hungry. Shall we eat first? I gave orders to have meals ready whenever you woke up.”

“Oh… thank you.”

They had left the Count’s estate right after the Emperor arrived that morning, and now the sun was setting. She’d completely missed the proper meal time. Her gaze drifted to the luxurious furnishings—far more extravagant than her room back at the Count’s estate just days ago.

“This place is…”

She was afraid to finish the thought. Hoping, desperately, that it wasn’t what she suspected, she trailed off. But Lehan smiled brightly and shattered that hope.

“This is your room, Edelis.”

He explained that ever since his coronation, he had summoned the most famous artisans in the land to prepare this room for her. He even had Marquess Brill inspect it multiple times, unsure of her taste.

“Then this place is…”

“The imperial palace.”

She must’ve traveled through a warp gate while unconscious. The capital was two weeks by carriage from Brill territory. Unless she’d been unconscious for that long, this was the only explanation.

‘To think I arrived in a place I could die in… while unconscious.’

Edelis tried to push that thought away. It was a place where she might die, not where she would. She only had to leave before things became dangerous.

“You’ll get used to it.”

Lehan patted her gently, seeming to sense her tension.

“…Yeah. Thanks.”

Edelis forced a smile, and Lehan looked visibly relieved. He soon summoned the attendants and maids to greet her. The head attendant went to prepare the dining room for the Emperor and Empress, while the maids began dressing Edelis. When Lehan left, they swiftly adorned her in finery. Once the hectic dressing was over and the maids stepped out, there was a knock.

It was Lehan again, smiling brightly at the door and holding out his hand politely.

“Edelis, may I escort you?”

She stared at the hand—one that had both comforted and, according to the book, stabbed her. She had no other option. She couldn’t refuse the Emperor’s offer, so she laid her trembling hand in his.

“Are you feeling unwell again?”

“No. I’m fine… I think.”

Her hand trembled not from illness, but from the sheer tension of touching the Emperor. The worst situation would be being left alone in a room with him. As long as that didn’t happen, she’d survive—for now. That was what she told herself.

‘He’s the one who told me to speak casually with him…’

Edelis grasped Lehan’s hand and reluctantly began to walk. Then, suddenly, she picked up her pace. It would be better to arrive quickly and sit down—put some distance between them. Lehan chuckled softly as he matched her hurried steps.

“…Why are you laughing?”

“It reminded me of the old days. You really haven’t changed.”

‘Old days?’

Edelis couldn’t recall. Lehan smiled mischievously and explained.

“When you dragged me along, saying there was a dessert shop in the city with amazing sweets.”

“T-That was…!!”

Why was he bringing that up now?! She felt her face heat up from embarrassment. She used to tell herself to eat well while she still could. She and Lehan had once explored all the most popular restaurants and dessert shops in the capital—expensive, crowded, delicious places—because once she fled, she wouldn’t get the chance again. She didn’t want to regret it.

“I think you ran, not walked.”

With that teasing remark, Edelis’ face flushed even more. She really had eaten like a warrior preparing for battle, thinking each meal could be her last. If a place suited her taste, she would visit multiple times and try everything on the menu. She never expected Lehan—who had watched it all—to bring it up again after seven long years.

“That was because I was in a rush!”

“You seem in a rush now, too.”

She didn’t deny it. She was, but not for food—she wanted to get away from the Emperor, who might kill her. But she couldn’t say that. Besides, Lehan’s playful expression reminded her too much of the good times they’d shared.

“That’s perfect. The chef from Il Ponte, your favorite restaurant, prepared the food tonight.”

“The Il Ponte chef?!”

He was a famous chef—not just for his mouthwatering food, but also for refusing the imperial court’s offers multiple times in favor of running his own restaurant. His place was always packed, and even after seven attempts, Edelis and Lehan had only managed to eat there three times. After Lehan left, and Edelis returned to her estate, she never got to try the rest of the menu. The dishes she had tried often came to mind.

“Don’t tell me… he became the imperial chef?”

Lehan nodded and chuckled. The sound of his laughter brought her sharply back to reality.

‘Did I show too much excitement?’

She worried she looked like a glutton at twenty-five. But after seven years of resisting her fate, her values had changed. Food, shelter, and money were now the most important things. So really, her reaction made perfect sense. It was just the accidental empress part that was the problem.

“You’re just as adorable now as you were back then, so don’t worry.”

“…You never said things like that before.”

“How could I? I was only a lowly knight.”

The wall of status had been tall and unyielding. Edelis understood why he hadn’t said it before, but she never expected he had thought that way.

“You were much cuter than me back then.”

Back then, Lehan had been far cuter. If he had told her she was cute, she would’ve rubbed her cheek against his and told him, “You’re cuter!”

“And now?”

Lehan curved one corner of his lips into a charming smile and asked with calm confidence.