Chapter 31

“You’re going to talk to the Saintess?”

Edelis hoped that Lehan would have as little contact with the Saintess as possible. She feared that if they were to fall in love, things might unfold just like the story in the book she had read. But that didn’t mean she could stop Lehan from going to her directly. Whether the book was real or not would determine how Edelis would live from here on.

‘I hope it’s not real. Even if it is, I hope it’s not about the future.’

If so, then perhaps she could go on living a sweet, fluttering married life with Lehan, just like before.

‘…But, if it’s real…’

Then everything she considered “normal” until now would be turned upside down. That thought cast a shadow over her mood. Her shoulders drooped, and she could no longer taste the food she was eating, so she put down her fork.

“Edelis, what are you thinking about?”

“…Nothing, really.”

“You don’t look well.”

“It’s just… a bit…”

With a stifled feeling in her chest, it was no wonder she felt off. When Edelis avoided Lehan’s gaze, unable to meet his eyes, he rose from his seat.

“Let’s go.”

“Where to?”

“You need to rest, don’t you?”

She did, indeed, want to rest. She felt far from herself. With Lehan’s support—a kind of escort—she found herself back in the bedroom they’d been in earlier. She moved like a ghost, listlessly laying down on the bed.

‘Maybe if I sleep without thinking too much, I’ll feel better?’

The sunlight-scented warmth of the fluffy bed and cozy blankets helped to soothe her mind.

“Tired, are you?”

Even though she had eaten, albeit distractedly, her hunger was satisfied, and sleepiness crept in. She hadn’t gotten proper rest and had been pushing herself since dawn, so she was far more tired than usual. Her eyelids fluttered as she longed to simply fall asleep. But then, Lehan sat on the bed beside her.

“With those wide eyes, you don’t look that tired.”

She had only looked up because she was startled that he had joined her in bed. But Lehan smiled with a raised corner of his mouth and leaned over her.

“I was going to leave you be if you looked tired enough to rest comfortably.”

He then interlaced his fingers with hers, as if he had no intention of letting go.

“Lehan?!”

“Are you ready now?”

“Huh?”

“You said you’d be ready by today, didn’t you?”

Edelis turned her eyes toward the window. The sun still hung high in the sky—too early even to call it evening, firmly midday.

‘I shouldn’t have come to Lehan’s bedroom, even just to rest!’

She had just told herself that even daylight wasn’t safe. But now it was too late—they were already in the bedroom, and more than that, on the bed. Guests were probably still chatting away in the reception hall below.

“I’m not ready yet…”

“When will you be? This ‘preparation’?”

“Well…”

As she drew out her response and avoided his gaze, Lehan stared at her with visible dissatisfaction.

“My preparation was already done,” he said as he brought her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers, the back of her hand, and her palm.

“Ah—Lehan, that tickles…”

His lips curled as he kissed the inside of her wrist next, slightly harder this time, then left small marks as he slowly moved up her arm.

“W-Wait a minute.”

Still holding her hand, Lehan began to shift her position, turning her over on the bed. Seeing her flushed, flustered face only made his reason slip further. His lips hovered over her neck. But when Edelis shook her head desperately, he managed to stop himself and reign in his desires.

“You promised you’d be ready by today.”

“But you didn’t say anything about it being in the middle of the day!”

“Time of day doesn’t matter to me.”

“Well, it matters to me—a lot!”

“…Hmm.”

Lehan paused for a moment, then offered a compromise.

“Edelis, does that mean you’ll be ready by tonight?”

“Well…”

Her hesitance was all the answer he needed. She clearly wanted something different from what he did.

“My dear wife, Edelis.”

“…Yes?”

“Do you not want to?”

Lehan’s straightforward question left Edelis unable to answer. If she nodded, it might hurt him. But if she shook her head, things would escalate. The truth was, she wasn’t ready. And with the Saintess looming over her thoughts, she didn’t want to become one with him in this unclear state. And if they were to divorce, it would be easier if nothing had happened between them. If they slept together, issues like imperial succession would make that impossible.

“…”

As she said nothing, Lehan sighed softly and pulled her gently into his arms.

“If you don’t want to, I won’t force you.”

“Really…?”

“Yes, of course. What do you take me for? I’m not some kind of beast.”

His playful words made her giggle. She appreciated how he lightened the mood so naturally.

“Lehan.”

“Yes?”

“It’s just that I’m not ready yet. It’s not because I dislike you.”

Far from dislike—she was falling for him. Whether when they trained together, handled affairs of state, or simply when he looked at her with such warm eyes—she liked him.

‘But still…’

Yes, she liked him, but thoughts of the Saintess weighed too heavily. If she were to sleep with him, she wouldn’t be able to ask him to leave her for the Saintess like it was nothing. Even just thinking about it made her heart ache. Edelis burrowed deeper into his embrace, and Lehan gently patted her back.

“I know.”

“…You know?”

“You think I wouldn’t notice? It’s that obvious.”

Was it really that obvious? She had thought she hid her inner turmoil quite well.

“I always watch you. There’s no way I wouldn’t notice your change in behavior.”

“…Really?”

She tried to keep her voice steady, but it trembled. Hearing him say that only deepened her feelings.

‘Come to think of it, every time I looked at him, we always made eye contact…’

She had thought she was being sneaky. But it turned out he had been watching her too—that’s why their eyes always met. Her heart, which had just been throbbing with anxiety, now fluttered with warmth, and a laugh escaped her lips.

“Ever since we reunited, I know we rushed into marriage.”

“That’s true.”

“So it’s perfectly understandable that you’re not prepared yet.”

“…Thank you.”

Edelis closed her eyes, letting herself feel the warmth of his body. That alone filled her with emotion.

“If it were up to me, I’d wish for you to be ready as soon as possible—even right this moment.”

“…I’ll try.”

If the matter with the book could just be resolved, everything would fall into place. Then they could live their lives like normal people—uncertain of tomorrow, yes, but not fearing betrayal or death at the hands of a loved one.

“You’ll try?”

“Huh?”

“How hard will you try?”

“…My best?”

“I’m counting on you, Edelis.”

Lehan moved closer again, pressing his body against hers. She felt something different, foreign against her and instinctively reached toward it—then quickly withdrew her hand.

‘No way. No. It can’t be.’

But all kinds of images flooded her mind nonetheless.

“Edelis.”

“Y-Yes?!”

“A wise choice.”

“…Thanks for the praise.”

Yes, pulling her hand back had been the right call. She had nearly crossed a line she couldn’t return from. Lehan wasn’t just teasing her with his words—he had been serious.

‘…Good thing he’s not a beast.’

Every time he did something like this, her heart raced. She doubted she would ever grow used to him.

“Aren’t you tired? You’ve been up since dawn.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Then get some sleep. You won’t be ready by tonight anyway, will you?”

“…True.”

Edelis slowly closed her eyes. Though she thought she’d be too tense to sleep, her exhaustion and the warmth of Lehan’s body lulled her quickly. His steady hand on her back was soothing, and she soon drifted off.

“…”

Once he heard her slow, rhythmic breathing, Lehan finally relaxed his tensed body.

“Haa…”

He let out a long sigh—part relief, part frustration. This was the day he had long awaited for years. He had finally married Edelis, the woman he had dreamed of. Once, he thought that would be enough—but it wasn’t. Holding her hand brought joy. But now, embracing her made him feel like he possessed the world. And if he could become one with her?

That thought sent tension back into his legs.

‘Think of something else. Anything else.’

Edelis gave him everything, yet also left him parched. He was desperate to get closer, more intimate, to bridge the gap between them until nothing remained.

“My wife, Edelis. I won’t let you go.”

Not to Berman Pasis, not to anyone. No matter what happened. No matter who came. It was already too late for anyone to take her from him. He had no intention of letting her go.

***

When Edelis opened her eyes again, it was the dim light of dawn. She was shocked to find she had slept for so long. As she stirred to stretch her stiff limbs, Lehan wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back down.

“Lehan?”

“Sleep a bit more.”

“I slept a ton already.”

She smiled playfully, but Lehan wouldn’t budge.

“What if you say you’re sleepy again tonight?”

“Then I’ll nap in the afternoon.”

“We have plans this afternoon, so I’d advise against that.”

“Plans?”

She had heard Lehan secured three days off after the wedding. But now there was something scheduled?

“I contacted the Saintess while you were asleep.”

“…The Saintess.”

“Yes. I told her I wanted to know more about the book, and arranged the soonest possible meeting.”

Her drowsiness vanished in an instant. Anxiety rising again, Edelis clung tightly to Lehan’s chest.

“Edelis?”

“Just… a bit longer.”

If the book was real, Lehan might one day kill her. But as she lay in his arms, she couldn’t believe that. How could someone so warm and gentle do such a thing? After steadying her breath, Edelis spoke calmly.

“When you go see the Saintess, take me with you. I have something I want to ask her too.”