Chapter 11

When Edelis saw Lehan’s languid smile, it felt like the alcohol instantly wore off.

‘How could I not be nervous in this situation?!’

She was in a bedroom, alone, late at night, with her soon-to-be husband. There was no way she could be calm. No matter how many times she shouted this is insane in her head, it didn’t change reality. Lehan watched her rolling her eyes nervously with clear amusement.

“I’m relieved, though.”

“…About what?”

“That you seem to see me as a man.”

“……”

“I was a bit worried you’d treat me the same way as before.”

In every way, Lehan was different from the past. Though he had once followed her around loyally, there had always been a sense of distance. But now, he was assertive—so much so that it made her wonder if he was even the same person. Edelis flushed harder, aware of how conscious she’d become of him.

Lehan simply seemed pleased by her flustered state.

“…You’re not the same as before.”

“You think so?”

He had once been almost the same height as her, but now her head barely reached his shoulder. She didn’t even dare test how tall he stood beside her now. His features had matured beautifully, but they still carried the familiarity of the boy she once knew.

‘If only he weren’t the emperor, he’d be perfect.’

If only he weren’t the emperor who would eventually kill her.

“I haven’t changed.”

“You haven’t.”

Hearing his words made her uneasy. She hadn’t changed—she was still trying to survive, just like when she first met Lehan. But Lehan… he had once been her personal guard, someone who protected her. Now, he was the emperor, destined to take her life. She couldn’t erase the image of him slaughtering the knights he had once trained with together.

‘He must’ve hated me so much to go that far…’

But Lehan, unaware of her turmoil, gently played with the hand she had placed on his arm. Even someone with no tact could see it—the words nothing has changed meant something entirely different to each of them.

‘I can’t breathe…’

Edelis desperately wanted to escape this suffocating tension. This kind of late-night conversation might be natural for married couples, but not for them. They were planning to divorce eventually. She didn’t want to fall too deep, only to be cast aside for the saintess, the true heroine of the story. No matter how much alimony she received, being left emotionally broken was not worth it.

So, she chose to guard her heart. No matter how happy she was to see Lehan again.

She had once waited endlessly for his return. When he finally came back, she’d felt truly relieved—like her death had been postponed. And it was obvious that Lehan still cared about her. But her survival mattered more now. She couldn’t afford to return his affection.

“Back then… and even now.”

She knew what he was about to say, even if he didn’t finish the sentence. His flushed face and bold words said enough.

“…Thank you.”

At her quiet response, Lehan chuckled and leaned in closer. Edelis stopped breathing, afraid even their breaths would touch.

‘There’s no way I can treat you the same as before…’

Maybe if he had returned exactly as he’d been. But now, looking like this—if she still saw him as the same innocent boy, maybe she could’ve enjoyed her life in the palace.

‘Because then, I’d know he’d never hurt me.’

With a gaze full of affection, Lehan reached out and softly brushed her tightly closed lips with his calloused fingers. At the unfamiliar sensation, Edelis tensed. Lehan didn’t take his eyes off her. His face inched closer, slowly, until he was smiling just a breath away.

“W-Wait a second…!”

Edelis barely managed to speak, but by then, he was right in front of her. So close their noses could’ve touched—not figuratively, but literally.

Lehan, half-lidding his eyes, looked like he could close the remaining distance at any moment.

“I was… a little impatient.”

He murmured, pulling back.

“…That didn’t seem like just ‘a little.’”

“I’ll have you know, I’ve been holding back quite a bit.”

Edelis barely kept her mouth from falling open. Her cheeks blazed as Lehan smiled, stroking her cheek with a tenderness that left no doubt of his affection. Anyone watching would have believed he was in love.

Anyone but Edelis.

If she hadn’t read that book.

If she didn’t remember it so vividly.

‘No. Don’t misunderstand. Lehan doesn’t love me.’

She repeated the thought again and again, steeling herself.

But Lehan seemed to mock her resolve with his next words.

“When I think about the fact that you’re my wife, it’s hard to hold back.”

“We haven’t… we haven’t even had the wedding yet!”

She wanted to deny the wife part. Becoming empress felt like stepping into the same tragic fate written in that cursed book.

“And after the wedding… what then?”

“…What?”

“After the wedding, I don’t have to hold back anymore?”

But instead of confirming that he would continue to restrain himself, Lehan was questioning why he should.

To him, there was never any other choice. From the moment he left Brill, he had never considered anyone else.

“I understand.”

“Wait, that’s not what I meant—!”

“Excuse me for a moment. I have some orders to pass to the chamberlain.”

Lehan abruptly stood. Edelis watched him, stunned.

“Lehan!”

“Rest well.”

He smiled brightly, gently helped her lie back, and pulled the blanket up to her chin.

“Since we haven’t had the wedding yet.”

His voice, low and tinged with amusement, tickled her ears. The man who stood before her was nothing like the Lehan she remembered.

The door closed with a soft click. His footsteps faded into the distance.

“W-Wait… that’s not what I meant…”

Edelis couldn’t even begin to object. By the time she’d gathered her wits, he was already gone.

‘And he was worried I didn’t see him as a man…?’

Even after he left, she couldn’t stop thinking about that moment. The way he had leaned in, the shared breath, his eyes locked on her lips.

And then that final statement, like a promise.

“Still, it’s the imperial wedding… there’s plenty of time.”

But thanks to those persistent memories, Edelis barely managed to fall asleep by the time the morning sun rose.

* * *

As soon as Edelis got up late and finished a simple meal, Lehan came to see her as if he had been waiting all along.

“Edelis.”

“…Your Majesty?”

Caught off guard, Edelis was about to ask what was going on, but Lehan was smiling brightly as if nothing made him happier.

“Edelis, please don’t call me ‘Your Majesty.’ Call me by my name.”

“There are other people around. I can’t.”

“It’s only attendants. It’s fine.”

“Still…”

Seeing her hesitate, Lehan gave her a sorrowful expression.

“It feels like you’re distancing yourself from me, and I don’t like that.”

Edelis, who very much wanted to keep both physical and emotional distance from him, felt as though he’d read her mind. But since he was still being kind to her, she reluctantly agreed to his request.

“Alright then, Keirhan.”

The true identity of the man she had come to know as Lehan was none other than Keirhan Larkseed Cronad, the emperor. So if she had to call him by name, she thought it only appropriate to call him Keirhan, not Lehan, the name that belonged to the boy from the arena.

But Lehan’s expression instantly soured.

“Lehan. Please call me Lehan.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s the name you used to call me by.”

“…Is that really okay?”

Calling each other by name wasn’t unheard of even among married couples. Though, of course, for an emperor and empress, it was quite an exception.

‘Every time I call him “Your Majesty,” I tense up… maybe this is better.’

Even saying the word “Emperor” was enough to make her breath catch. Even though some things had changed from what she’d read in the book, that didn’t mean she could afford to lower her guard.

“Even if the whole world calls me ‘Your Majesty,’ I want you to call me Lehan. Just like before.”

With slightly flushed cheeks, Lehan filled his gaze with Edelis’s face. When she gave a small nod, he smiled in satisfaction.

“And when it’s just the two of us like now, please speak casually.”

“….”

“I can’t compromise on this, Edelis.”

Pressed by his assertive tone, she had no choice but to agree.

“Alright, Lehan.”

“Good.”

Lehan grinned, clearly pleased.

“But it’s already late morning. What’s the occasion?”

“There’s something I want to show you.”

“Something to show me?”

Lehan didn’t respond, only smiling. Then his expression darkened slightly as he added, “And… there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Edelis’s breath caught. As much as she didn’t want to believe it, she had a very good idea who he meant. It had already been a year since Lehan became emperor. It would make sense for her to be introduced to the concubines by now, even if the empress’s seat was still vacant.

‘…It won’t be her. If it were the heroine, Lehan would never have brought me along.’

Trying to convince herself, Edelis gave a stiff nod.

“Alright, Lehan.”

But anxiety was creeping in. How long would she have to keep living like this? What would come next? As those thoughts swirled in her mind, Lehan took her hand and pulled her gently.

“Where are we going?”

“I told you—there’s something I want to show you. Let me take you.”

As Lehan led her, beaming brightly, old memories resurfaced—of the days they wandered the bustling city together, hand in hand. Back then, she had pulled him along. Now, the roles were reversed. Remembering that made Edelis smile without realizing it. Lehan, delighted by her smile, led her out of the Ruby Palace—her residence as the future empress—and toward the Emerald Palace, where he stayed.

“My office is on the third floor here. I use different bedrooms each night, but if you ever visit, the attendants will guide you.”

Completely useless information. As if she’d ever come looking for him. She repeated to herself that she would live as quietly and invisibly as possible, and followed Lehan into the Emerald Palace.

But the moment they stepped inside, her steps faltered.

‘This place…’

Edelis had never set foot here before. But she knew it. She’d seen it so many times in her dreams—waking up screaming.

Without realizing it, she leaned against Lehan’s arm as they walked forward, one step at a time. Otherwise, she might collapse. Lehan, unaware of her reaction, matched his pace to hers, thinking she was just curious and looking around. He watched her with warm, affectionate eyes.

But Edelis stopped walking and looked down at the floor right in front of her feet—with an expression so sorrowful it seemed like tears might fall at any moment.

‘Right here… This is where I was lying. No—collapsed.’

She was sure of it. The distant staircase. The sunlit window. The softly laid carpet. Everything matched. The only difference was that this time, the carpet wasn’t soaked in her blood.

Her side ached, the same place she’d been stabbed in the book—as if the memory alone could bring pain.

‘When… when will I collapse here again?”’

Denying the future written in the book, she looked up at Lehan. He was smiling gently at her. But overlaid on that gentle image was the one she saw just yesterday: the cold, emotionless Lehan in blood-soaked uniform, holding a blood-dripping sword

Just remembering it made her dizzy and nauseated.

“…Shall we go upstairs?”

Edelis gave a small nod. The farther she got from the site of that memory, the easier it was to breathe. After climbing two floors, they reached the third, where Lehan stopped in front of a room with a look of anticipation.

“I have a feeling you’ll be coming to this room more than any other.”

He opened the door with confidence, revealing a neatly arranged study. The moment the door opened, the scent of books greeted her. And sitting on the table—was the bag Edelis had packed before leaving Marquis Brill’s estate.

Her eyes immediately locked onto it.

From the slight opening, a familiar glow was seeping through.

‘That light… it’s the same glow that comes from the book!’