Chapter 106

“It’s best if you read it yourself and then decide. I’ll be going now.”

“…”

Even after Frache left Lehan’s office, Lehan couldn’t regain his composure. He was bewildered, as the book had been completely blank before. And more than anything, he was curious what kind of book this was that had caused such an incident for Edelis, and why Frache had told him to read it. Part of him thought he should return the book to Edelis right away, but his body didn’t listen to his thoughts. In the end, Lehan, unable to contain his curiosity, opened the cover.

“…Characters?”

What he had thought was simply a novel had a list of names he knew well. His own name, Keirhan Raksid Cronad, as well as Elaine Ryned, Johannes Frache, and Edelis Brill.

‘This is definitely… the book Edelis had even before I knew I was a Raksid?’

‘But how could the content about me be so accurate?’

‘And Elaine Ryned as a Saintess? Her identity as a Saintess was revealed less than a year ago, wasn’t it?’

But not all of the book’s contents were correct. Elaine Ryned had lost her life instead of winning love, and Edelis Brill was a person so lovely she couldn’t even do one bad thing. In the end, Lehan, who had only intended to take a quick look, found himself mesmerized and started reading the book’s contents as soon as his and Edelis’s names appeared. He wasn’t curious about Elaine Ryned’s unfortunate childhood, so he quickly flipped to the part where she became a Saintess and came to the Empire.

‘What is this Keirhan like? What did Edelis do to make him hate her so much?’

‘He turned his attention from Edelis to the Saintess? Is he out of his mind?’

‘How could Edelis make such a mistake in the book? But my wife didn’t do that. As expected, my Edelis…!’

‘And people can make mistakes. Especially Edelis, she must have had her reasons.’

Lehan clicked his tongue, thinking the Emperor in the book was a complete fool. But as he read the book, a hypothesis formed in his mind.

‘When my memory was strange last time, was I the owner of this Emperor’s memories?’

The way the Saintess imbued the book with divine power and his own actions at the time—it all fit perfectly.

‘…If I had remained in that state.’

Then he might have been deceived by the Saintess and acted according to the book’s contents. It was extremely unpleasant to think that he, a man with his own will, was moving according to a book. What was even more unpleasant was that he had turned his eyes to a Saintess instead of Edelis, a wife who was beautiful, lovely, and not lacking in any praise.

‘What a poorly written book.’

The part where Keirhan and the Saintess confirmed their feelings for each other in the book was nauseating just from imagining it. His stomach was strong, hardened from seeing countless amounts of blood during the rebellion and its suppression. Lehan’s pages turned faster as he reached the middle of the book, where Edelis began to torment the Saintess. But all she did was slap her, insult her, and humiliate her in high society. It was at the level of cuteness compared to him, who had cut off her arm and plunged a sword into her heart. The book meticulously described the Saintess’s struggles during these crises and how she was comforted by Keirhan. But Lehan found himself rooting for Edelis.

‘Edelis is so soft-hearted even in the book. I’m worried about her. I have no choice. I’ll have to protect her.’

‘By the way, if she’s the Empress of the Empire anyway, she’s second only to the Emperor. She should have just beheaded the Saintess.’

‘If I were there, I would have given her a poison that would slowly kill her without anyone noticing.’

‘No, why wait for the poison to work? I would behead both the Saintess and the Emperor right away. An Emperor like that isn’t worth living.’

Then, the final judgment scene where Edelis appeared came. It was the same scene Edelis had seen when she first opened the book. The Empress’s heart was pierced by Keirhan’s sword. Feeling a heart-wrenching pain, she clutched her chest and collapsed. But that didn’t make the pain go away. Keirhan walked up to her and mercilessly pulled the sword out. Then, blood gushed from the Empress, soaking the carpet on the floor. 

『Hah. Empress? Do you not know what Edelis Cronad—no, Edelis Brill—did with that title?』 

Lehan saw the words written in the book and remembered the Saintess’s death. The Saintess, who was stabbed in the heart by his sword, clutching her chest and collapsing. But he had mercilessly pulled the sword out, and blood had gushed from her. And just like in the book, the carpet on the floor had been soaked with blood.

– Ha! Saintess, my foot. Don’t you know what the Saintess, no, what Elaine Ryned has done in her position as Saintess?

Goosebumps rose on Lehan’s body as he remembered the words he had said while killing the Saintess.

“It really…”

Reality was truly following the contents of the book. As he read the scene of Edelis’s death in the book, he had wondered why the character’s name had to be Edelis, making him feel uneasy. But since the content of reality and the book were so similar, what if, just what if, his memory had never returned? Then Edelis might have died by his hand, just like in the book. Lehan felt like he was suffocating as his thoughts reached that point. And tears streamed down his face.

“…That’s impossible.”

What if Edelis had died by his hand? Could he have forgiven himself? He would have considered even the escape of death a luxury. He was even more enraged as he realized the full extent of what Elaine Ryned had tried to do. And he was about to burn the book with its ominous contents. But just before he threw it into the fireplace, he stopped, remembering that this book belonged to Edelis and he had to return it to her.

‘If this book belongs to Edelis…’

That meant Edelis had read this content at such a young age, before her debutante ball. Edelis crying whenever she looked at the book, Edelis not wanting to go to the Imperial Palace, Edelis worrying about becoming the Empress.

– I don’t want to be the Empress!

– Is… marrying the Emperor truly that unbearable?

– I want to be with you, Lehan—not the Emperor.

“Ha…!”

The day they were going to the Imperial Palace, Edelis had fainted after seeing him covered in blood from the assassin’s attack. Her face had looked as if her world had crumbled when she saw him with Elaine Ryned.

– Lehan, I don’t want to be with the Emperor. I want to be with you.

Now, he finally understood her words and actions. How much anxiety she must have lived with by his side. And he, not knowing any of that, had just been happy to be with her. He blamed himself for only thinking about his own happiness and not considering how anxious Edelis must have been. Before he could be angry at Elaine Ryned, he was disgusted by his own insensitivity. Thinking about how much Edelis had suffered, his tears wouldn’t stop. But he couldn’t be absorbed in his own sadness. That would only be repeating his mistake. Lehan got up from his seat and swallowed his tears. He roughly wiped his tears, took the book, and headed for the Ruby Palace where Edelis was resting.

***

Edelis was lying in bed, resting. She had witnessed the death of the Saintess and the other priests, so the emotional stress was high, and the relief that it was truly over, just as Lehan had said, was also immense. She felt like she hadn’t done anything grand so far, but she wanted to rest and do nothing in a grander way. So she lay in bed and enjoyed the silence. Only the chirping of birds occasionally coming through the window told her that peace had arrived. Just as she was about to fall asleep in the quiet, a sudden knocking on the door made her eyes fly open.

“Edelis!”

“L-Lehan? What’s wrong?”

Lehan heard Edelis’s voice and immediately opened the door, walking briskly toward her. By the time Edelis was startled and sat up, Lehan was already in front of her. Even before she could get up, Lehan knelt and hugged her waist as she sat on the bed.

“Lehan, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Lehan didn’t say anything, but she could feel her skirt getting wet.

“Are you… crying?”

‘Was I too harsh? Was it enough to make him cry? He didn’t seem this depressed before he went to the state meeting. Did something happen at the meeting?’

“Edelis…”

“Yeah, it’s me. What’s wrong?”

Lehan hugged her waist and silently shed tears. The more he did, the more worried Edelis became, and she stroked his head. But that seemed to act as a trigger, and Lehan shed even more tears, flustering Edelis.

“If it’s hard to talk about, you don’t have to.”

“…”

“It’s okay, everything will be okay.”

“How, how can you say that?”

“Huh…?”

She was trying to comfort him, but for some reason, Lehan was crying even more. She wondered if her ill-conceived comfort had a reverse effect. So Edelis quietly stroked Lehan’s head to comfort him. She didn’t know what was wrong, but she hoped it would be a comfort to him. She hoped that just as she found happiness by his side, he could also find happiness by hers. She quietly waited for him to calm down. And finally, Lehan caught his breath, and still kneeling, he raised his head. His eyes were stained with tears, and his eyes were bloodshot. Now that she thought about it, Lehan’s eyes had been red from the moment he first entered.

“Edelis.”

“Yeah, are you feeling better now?”

Lehan shook his head without saying anything and placed the book he had brought on her lap. It was stained with blood, but Edelis knew what it was at a glance. But she still couldn’t understand why Lehan was giving her the book while crying. Because she thought Lehan couldn’t see the contents of the book. Hadn’t Lehan called it a ‘blank book’ long ago?

“Edelis, at that time, if, just if something like that were to happen again…”

Lehan finally opened his mouth. He spoke with a tearful voice, as if forcing out each word. He took Edelis’s hand with his trembling hand and placed it on his left chest.

“Stab me here.”

“Are you telling me to stab your heart with a knife right now?”

Lehan tried to hold back his tears, but he couldn’t stop the tears that had welled up in his eyes from flowing down. He cried again and spoke with a trembling voice.

“It would be so much better… if I were the one to die… instead of you… So Edelis, please.”