Chapter 104

Lehan’s shoulders flinched and trembled. He had no memory of the past when he had hurt Edelis’s feelings. But now that everything was resolved, he vividly remembered what he had said when he had lost his memory. He would have preferred it if those memories had been erased.

“Didn’t you agree not to call me ‘Your Majesty’?”

“How could I do that when Your Majesty is the most noble and enlightened Emperor in the Empire?”

There was a playful tone in Edelis’s voice, but because of his past sins, Lehan couldn’t hear it as a joke.

“No, Edelis. That was because my memory wasn’t whole at the time.”

“So, if your memory becomes incomplete again, will a similar thing happen…?”

Edelis’s words made Lehan jump in surprise as she tilted her head slightly, her eyes cast down, and she spoke in a low, sorrowful tone. Anyone would have seen a hurt look on her face. And Lehan, who had all his memories back, was even more flustered because he knew why she was saying that.

“No! The Saintess’s execution is over, so that won’t happen again!”

“…Do you think so?”

“Yes.”

Lehan answered with a firm tone. Of course, Edelis also agreed with him in her heart. The Saintess’s divine power had caused Lehan’s memories to be in disarray, and since the Saintess, who was the source of the problem, was dead, she didn’t think something like this would happen again.

“But I can’t forget it.”

“…Forget what?”

“You said if I call you ‘Lehan’ one more time, I won’t like what happens…”

‘—Call me that again, and you won’t like what happens.’

Lehan felt like he was going crazy because he remembered everything he had said in the past. If he didn’t remember what happened when he was confused, he would have been more at peace. What could he do about things he didn’t even remember? Then Edelis might have pitied him a little. But the problem was that he remembered everything. All the misdeeds he had committed in the past. The moments she had cried. So even as he begged and begged, his heart ached because of the things he had done.

“Ah, no!”

“I didn’t think you could be someone who could say something so coldly, as if you didn’t care if I got hurt or not.”

“Edelis, you know it’s not my true feeling.”

“But Your Majesty said it.”

“…Of course, those were my words, but as I said before, it was because my memory was confused.”

What a sudden calamity because of that damned Saintess. He was sure he was happy and carefree before the Saintess appeared. He couldn’t deny that he had used the Saintess when she first showed him affection, thinking Edelis’s jealousy was cute. But if he had known it would turn out this way, he would have chased the Saintess away the moment he saw Edelis getting wary of her. If he could turn back time, he would behead the Saintess the moment she arrived as an envoy of the Holy Empire. No, he would break into the Holy Empire and behead her before she even came as an envoy. If not, he would behead her when she was in the Empire before she became the Saintess. He wondered if he should behead the Saintess’s body, which was left outside the city gates, again, but he felt that wouldn’t be enough to quell his anger. And more importantly than what to do with the Saintess, there was an angry Edelis in front of him right now.

“Then I guess I can’t come to see you anymore…”

“No, you can come whenever you want. Where in the Imperial Palace can Edelis not go?”

“But you said it’s confusing when the Empress comes in without permission.”

‘—…Of course, I’m confused when the Empress enters without permission.’

“What if Your Majesty’s memory gets confused again?”

“Edelis, please.”

There were thousands, tens of thousands of things he could say to refute Edelis’s words, but since he had uttered those words himself, he couldn’t even say a word. In the end, Lehan just sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. He thought he needed to behead more than just the Saintess. Why did he say such useless things and hurt Edelis? His past self! If his past self was in front of him, he would have beheaded him first.

“If you have no other business, please return to the Emerald Palace.”

Seeing Lehan sighing anxiously, Edelis felt a little smug. It had started as a joke, but the more she replayed the past events in her mind, the angrier she became. Of course, the Saintess was the cause of the problem, but who would compensate her for all the mental anguish she had suffered? The Saintess, who was already dead? Berman Pasis, who had died trying to save her? She knew that what she was doing to Lehan was just taking out her frustration on him. But! Still! Edelis calmly drank her tea, leaving Lehan behind. Lehan didn’t say anything and just watched Edelis. She had told him to leave, but he wasn’t stupid enough to actually get up and leave in this situation.

“Edelis. Everything I said back then wasn’t my true feeling.”

She knew. Edelis had also told herself a hundred, a thousand times that Lehan wouldn’t do that to her and that it was all because his memory was confused.

“I don’t know how I can heal the wounds you received, but…”

“I’ll probably remember it for the rest of my life.”

“…”

“But it was a fascinating experience. I even thought, ‘This is what it must feel like to be a concubine’.“

“I won’t have any.”

“Ah, you were going to make the Saintess your Empress, right?”

Lehan couldn’t bring himself to say no. Because his past self had actually thought that.

“I have no such intentions. None at all. Not even the slightest. I don’t need another Empress, a concubine, or a consort.”

“You said that before, too. But you were going to make the Saintess your Empress.”

“I said that because my memory wasn’t whole, wasn’t it?”

“But you were the one who thought that, too, weren’t you?”

“…”

“You might think you don’t need anyone else now, but what if you…”

“No. Absolutely not.”

Edelis made a humming sound and seemed to be thinking. It seemed like she was struggling with what to do. But on this point, Lehan was very firm. Proving that he wouldn’t bring another woman into the Ruby Palace was something he would do for the rest of his life.

“Your Majesty.”

“…Please, Edelis. Please speak informally. At least call me by my name. Don’t try to keep your distance.”

“Is that an order, too?”

“Aah!”

Lehan involuntarily screamed. It was unfair. Why did his current self have to clean up the mess his past self made? But he had to do it. He couldn’t act so shamelessly and nonchalantly after hurting Edelis like that.

“Did you just yell at me?”

Edelis asked, her eyes wide, trying to calm her heart that was pounding from Lehan’s sudden scream. She hadn’t expected him to yell like that, even though she was teasing him. And she was right, he had ordered her around before.

“No. It’s not that. An order, that’s ridiculous. How could I order you to…”

“You have. You can’t deny it.”

Now Lehan felt like he was going to cry. He swallowed his tears with a sigh. One of the commands he had given her was to not call him by his name. But now he was asking her to call him by his name so easily, so he understood why Edelis was dumbfounded. Still, still. STILL!

“It’s not an order… but if you would pity me, please consider it.”

Lehan grabbed Edelis’s hand and rubbed his cheek on the back of her hand. Edelis’s facial muscles almost gave way from Lehan’s cat-like charm, but she barely managed to hold it in, thinking of the Saintess.

“I’ll think about it.”

“When will I know the result?”

“Are you pressuring me now?”

“Of course not! I’m just looking forward to and waiting for the day you’ll call my name.”

“Then you can wait. I’ll think about whether to consider calling you by your name or not.”

A shadow deepened on Lehan’s face. He thought she was thinking about whether or not to call him by his name, but now she had to decide whether or not to even consider it. As Lehan’s head involuntarily drooped, Edelis giggled. When Lehan heard her laughter, he quickly raised his head, but Edelis’s smile was already gone.

‘Did I hear wrong? No, there’s no way I could hear Edelis’s voice wrong. Did I hear a hallucination because I wanted to hear it so badly?’

“What’s wrong?”

“No, nothing.”

“And Your Majesty.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to speak formally to me. It must be uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable? How could it be?”

From the moment he first saw her, she was the most precious and noble person he knew. She was so noble that he never even thought he could reach her. It was impossible for him to feel uncomfortable speaking formally to such a person. Could priests be asked not to speak formally to God? He thought his feelings weren’t much different from theirs. To him, Edelis was a person to be revered that much.

“Just this morning, you were speaking informally to me, so isn’t it uncomfortable to suddenly speak formally?”

“…How could I be? How could I speak informally to you? When I see my past self, I want to strangle him. I just don’t understand it.”

“When you don’t understand, you want to strangle someone?”

“What?”

“The old Lehan wasn’t like that. Is it because your memory was confused for a while…?”

Lehan felt like he was going crazy as Edelis looked at him with wary eyes. It was true that he had seen a lot of blood while leading the rebellion. And it was also true that he had seen even more blood while suppressing the rebellion. But Edelis only vaguely suspected such a thing about him, and he didn’t want to show her that side of himself. And she shouldn’t equate his current self with the moron he was when his memory was confused.

“Ah, no! It’s not like that!”

“Then you were like that from the beginning?”

“No! No! How could I be!”

“Then what is it?”

“I meant it as a figure of speech. Would I actually strangle someone?”

He decided not to mention that he had just tried to behead the Saintess and his past self. And he decided not to go and behead the Saintess again. It would be a problem if Edelis found out he had those thoughts.

“And I am comfortable speaking formally to you. So you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Is that so…?”

“Yes. And please don’t talk about other concubines or consorts.”

Lehan hesitated and then reached out and grabbed Edelis’s hand tightly.

“There’s no way I would need another woman besides you.”

In Lehan’s eyes and his trembling hand, she could feel his sincerity. It made Edelis’s heart flutter. But Lehan needed to suffer a little longer.