Episode 45

Episode 45. Isn’t This a Bit Too Much of a Double Standard?

That day had come around again.

The day I had to share a meal with Jerome.

For a while I’d been able to eat alone because the imperial concubine had been unwell.

Sadly, those blissful solo meals didn’t last long.

As soon as Fay recovered, Jerome resumed joining me at the table once a week for dinner.

Maybe I should try fasting again?

Starving might actually be better than suffering through this uncomfortable meal.

I was lamenting my fate while taking a spoonful of soup when he broke the silence.

“I hear you’ve been practicing horseback riding lately.”

“Pardon?”

How did he know?

Well, it wasn’t as though I’d been hiding it. It would have been stranger if he hadn’t heard.

I stole a glance at him.

Perhaps because he’d been worn out caring for Fay, he looked more gaunt than before; yet that cold, razor-sharp aura seemed even stronger.

“There’ll be plenty of events where riding is necessary. The hunting festival is coming up, too. I thought I’d use the chance to learn properly.”

“You’re talking like you never knew how. Then what about all the times you rode with me last year?”

Ah! Helena could ride, couldn’t she?

That would explain why it felt oddly familiar even though it was my first time.

It must have been muscle memory.

But the soul in this body was a complete beginner.

I’d have to start from scratch to get used to it.

“Since that fast, my body hasn’t felt the same. I guess it affected my riding, too.”

“You forgot how to ride just because you fasted for a bit? That’s a new one.”

His indifferent remark stung.

Excuse me, Your Majesty?

A bit, you say?

I survived on water alone for over two weeks!

When Fay was starving herself, you were so worried.

Sure, you don’t love me—but I’m still your legitimate wife. Isn’t this kind of discrimination a bit much?

Jerome let out a cold, humorless laugh.

“Or is this just an excuse to spend time with Sir Leonard?”

“What?”

“I’ve told you many times not to disgrace the imperial dignity.”

“Of course I remember.”

“Then?”

His sharp gaze pinned me in place as he pressed on.

“You remember perfectly well, yet you’re claiming you ‘forgot’ how to ride so you can spend time with the commander?”

“I don’t know what exactly you mean by ‘spending time,’ but I’ve never done anything to tarnish the dignity of the imperial family.”

“For your sake, I hope that’s true.”

Jerome stood.

Looking down at me with those cold eyes, he added bluntly.

“Make sure there’s never any reason for the imperial dignity to be called into question again.”

Despite Jerome’s warning, I didn’t give up on riding.

It wasn’t as if I was meeting Leonard for some ulterior motive like he seemed to think; I had nothing to feel guilty about, so why should I avoid it?

I still spent most of my days practicing, and nearly a month had passed since I began. My seat was clumsy, but I could at least move with the horse’s rhythm now.

Today was no different; I’d finished another session with Leonard and had just returned to my chambers.

Collapsing onto the bed, I buried my face in the pillow.

So tired.

Every muscle felt like it was twitching with exhaustion, and I was too weary even to stand properly.

I lifted my hands, now lined with small blisters that had started to form over time. When I closed and opened my fists, they felt swollen and dull.

Riding wasn’t like sitting comfortably in a carriage; you had to move with the horse, and it was as tiring as running alongside it yourself.

It made me respect the knights even more.

How do they ride for over a week at a time when they march to war?

Reading about it in a book had left me unimpressed, but now I understood how incredible they really were.

Lately, when I ran into knights in the halls, I found myself looking at them with genuine respect.

At least there was one good thing about all this: I could feel the new muscle in my legs, proof that I was improving.

“Thank you for your hard work, Your Majesty.”

“You look so tired today.”

“Are you sure you’re not pushing yourself too hard? You leave for the riding grounds at dawn every day…”

I could hear the maids whispering, sounding worried.

I wanted to drift off right then and there.

No—I couldn’t sleep yet. I remembered there was still something I had to do.

I forced myself up off the bed—well, tried to, though the ache in my body made it a slow, creaking process.

Watching me struggle, the maids quickly asked:

“Your Majesty, shall we prepare your bath?”

“Do you want us to help you get ready for bed?”

I shook my head.

“Before that, there’s somewhere I need to go.”

“In that case, we’ll prepare your attire for going out.”

Their attentiveness was kind, but I shook my head more firmly.

“No. I can go on my own. All of you may retire for the night.”

I left the Empress’s chambers alone and headed straight for the rear garden. Nestled amid the fragrant roses was a small cottage. Quietly opening the door, I found a round staircase descending underground. Step by step, I slowly went down. Candles lined the spiral stairs, so it wasn’t too dark.

How far down had I gone? When I reached the lowest basement floor, I stopped before a firmly closed door. A large sign read: No Entry. But I’m an exception. I had permission from him before. I could come in anytime. Confidently, I grabbed the handle and pulled. Still, part of me worried the door might be locked, but it opened easily without resistance.

As I entered, an awe-inspiring sight unfolded. Shelves packed tightly with countless books, desks precariously stacked with colorful flasks of potions—it looked like the eccentric laboratory of a mad genius dreaming of world domination. The sheer number of books intimidated me. Did he really read all those? Maybe they were just for show. Curious, I had asked him the last time I visited. Did you read all these books? He gave a puzzled look. —Of course, I memorized them all. I’d asked if he’d read them, and he said he memorized them instead. No wonder magicians are said to be born, not made. But he wasn’t bluffing. Every book on those shelves showed clear signs of having been handled.

But where is he? Beyond the white smoke billowing from the flasks, I spotted familiar silver hair. There he was.

The atmosphere felt so tense, like one wrong move could cause disaster. I carefully navigated past the experimental tools and approached him. He was reading a book and so absorbed that he didn’t notice me.

“Cedric.”

No reaction. How focused must he be to not even hear his name? I didn’t want to disturb him, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I stepped closer and lightly tapped his desk.

“Cedric?”

Startled, Cedric turned his head. His eyes widened like a rabbit’s as he exclaimed,

“Your Majesty Empress?”

“Is it an interesting book?”

“Yes. I happened to find a long-forgotten volume, and it has many fascinating parts.”

“Fascinating?”

I glanced at the book in his hands.

Oh.

I didn’t understand a word. Just the first two lines killed my curiosity. Complex formulas and geometric diagrams cluttered the page.

He finds this fascinating?

I looked at Cedric with mixed feelings.

“Ah! I was so distracted, I forgot to offer you tea.”

He hurriedly rummaged through his clutter to prepare some flower tea. The flower tea I’d tasted before was certainly sweet and had a mysterious aroma and flavor I’d never experienced anywhere else. But getting tea meant waiting at least an hour while he dug through all those things.

“It’s okay, Cedric. I came to ask if your work is progressing well today.”

“Work? Ah! It’s nearly done.”

“How many days will it take?”

“Even with plenty of time, three days should be enough.”

“Three days? That’s much faster than planned.”

“Yes, but there’s a worry.”

“A worry?”

His expression darkened at my question.

“Honestly, I’m still uncertain whether it’s safe to use.”

“You’ve explained the circumstances before. It can’t be helped, Cedric.”

“It might be dangerous.”

“That’s why you’re coming with me.”

I smiled gently. Cedric reluctantly nodded.

“It’s the first time I’ve made a magical item like this, so I’m not sure, but since it’s meant to end the drought… it can’t be helped.”

“It’s your creation, Cedric. Of course, it’ll work.”

I reassured him once more.

Cedric was called a wise sage for a reason. If he couldn’t do it, no magician in the world could.

Oh, I almost forgot to ask this.

“By the way, do you know how to ride a horse?”

“Ride a horse…?”

His face turned ashen. I’d had a feeling.

He can’t ride.

Oh no. I never imagined Cedric wouldn’t know how to ride. If I had known, I would have learned alongside him from the start.

I should tell Leonard there’s one more participant to join, shouldn’t I?