Chapter 21

Is that so? That he’s cold and cruel?

Asla had always believed that her mother—Gloria—was the cold and cruel one. Never once had she considered that she might’ve grown up the same way.

She could’ve been kinder. Could’ve tried.

How did she end up so harsh, so sharp-edged?

Asla, overwhelmed with self-disgust, fell silent. Seeing this, Gloria gently brushed her fingers against a leaf of the shrub beside her and spoke again, voice calm.

“The Princess is also cold-hearted. The two of us are quite alike.”

“…”

“As the Duke said, I was opposed to the marriage. I still don’t feel much different now.”

Gloria’s sharp gaze swept over her—Enoch—as if weighing and judging everything from head to toe.

Asla couldn’t understand.

Maybe those women at the wedding, sneering behind fans, had been closer to the truth than she’d thought.

What did she have to offer, really? Sure, she was decent-looking. But her family had fallen. She 

had no fortune. No title worth anything anymore. In what way was she better than Enoch, the Empire’s most sought-after noble?

In a desperate tone, Asla pointed at Ian and asked,

“Did you want Princess Asla to marry Priest Ian Hertha instead? Because of his strong divine power, I assume—royals were often paired with such individuals, after all.”

Ian’s eyes flashed with restrained fury.

Back in the day, when he had confronted Enoch in the Temple, his anger had been far more vocal. But now, before Gloria, he seemed to be holding back.

“That’s an outrageous assumption!”

But it wasn’t Ian who shouted—it was Gloria.

She raised her voice so suddenly that Asla flinched and looked at her in shock.

“I have not, and still can not, accept that the Holy Kingdom has fallen,” Gloria said, her tone shaking with emotion. “I lived more than fifty years in that kingdom. But Asla is different.”

She looked between Ian and Enoch—as if realizing they were both taken aback by her sudden honesty—and pressed on.

“I could never tell Asla to forsake her dignity as a Princess and live freely like some commoner. But… she must live on in a world without the Holy Kingdom now. She’s no longer its heir. No longer bound to preserve its bloodline. She ought to marry for love.”

To marry for love.

Asla could hardly believe she’d heard that right.

But Gloria, who sighed softly with pain in her eyes, seemed sincere.

Was Mother always someone who thought of me like this…?

Even more shocking was what Gloria said next.

With a troubled look, she took a step closer to Enoch—Asla—and said,

“Lisette Grosset, her nanny, told me… that Princess Asla is afraid of you. Terrified, even. That she doesn’t love you at all. Quite the opposite.”

“…Lisette Grosset told you this?”

“Yes. She raised Asla from infancy. The person she trusts most.”

Gloria nodded firmly, her tone full of conviction.

Asla felt like lightning had struck her brain.

My nanny… lied?

But why?

She remembered all those nights of quietly cutting out newspaper articles about Enoch, shyly confessing her feelings to Lisette.

The soft strokes of her hair, the gentle smiles, the warm encouragement.

It had been such a difficult crush. But she had endured it—because Lisette had supported her.

Why would she tell Mother something like that?

‘Maybe… she just wanted to protect my secret?’

A pathetic excuse.

Asla hated that even now, her mind was still trying to defend her nanny. Just as she was about to drown in self-loathing, Gloria spoke again.

“That’s why I objected. Do you understand me even a little now?”

Asla didn’t respond.

She couldn’t.

She was so ashamed of how deeply she had misunderstood her mother that she wanted to vanish on the spot.

‘Then… does Enoch believe I’ve always feared and despised him?’

Asla recalled the cold indifference Enoch had shown her at their wedding. Her body tensed, stiff with guilt and dread. She remained silent.

Noticing this, Gloria turned slightly, casting a wistful glance toward the bridal waiting room where the bride—her daughter—was sitting.

The sorrow in her mother’s expression made Asla’s heart ache even more.

“I don’t know what compelled the Duke to accept a marriage to Princess Asla, but she won’t be a good wife to you.”

Gloria hesitated, then added,

“She’s my daughter, yes, but… Lisette reported that from a young age, she harbored hatred and resentment toward the Holy Kingdom. Said she was self-destructive. That ever since her birth, the Holy Kingdom began to decay.”

“I didn’t know the guilt she carried was so heavy.”

“…Ha.”

Another lie.

Another false report from her nanny.

Asla didn’t know what to think anymore. Had Lisette deliberately deceived Gloria? Or… was Asla truly the broken, twisted person they said she was?

‘If I keep thinking like this, my mind’s going to fall apart. I’m going to die.’

She was spiraling.

Just then, Gloria lowered her gaze and murmured softly—

“My late husband and I… we regretted not being able to truly see our daughter because we were so preoccupied with trying to purify the Holy Kingdom’s corruption. But Asla… she never looked at us either. Even when we tried to visit, all we ever received in return was a message saying she didn’t want to see us.”

Asla was losing her mind.

‘When…?’

She had never once heard that her parents had tried to come see her.

‘Nanny was the wall between us.’

The realization came with a dizzying clarity.

All those times when Lisette Grosset had shed tears, saying she pitied Asla for being ignored by her parents—  All of it was a lie.

Asla Sherita… was a foolish, naive little princess who trusted only her nanny.

“I’d like to give this to you.”

At Gloria’s signal, Ian reluctantly reached into his coat and took out a book with a yellow cover.

The moment Asla saw it, a bitter laugh escaped her lips.

‘So this is where it came from.’  

The reason Enoch never even kissed her, let alone touched her—this royal etiquette manual.

“This is the Royal Code of Conduct that all members of the Holy Kingdom’s royal family must follow. Asla supposedly followed it religiously, so even though you’re married, I ask you to read it and respect her boundaries. That way, even if she doesn’t come to love you, she may one day accept you as her partner.”

The Sherita Royal Family’s code of conduct.

Asla stared silently at the sickening yellow cover she hadn’t seen in so long.

Then she slowly asked Gloria:

“You heard that Princess Asla followed the code obsessively… from Priestess Lisette Grosset?”

Gloria nodded in confirmation.

‘Ah…’

Asla felt like all the strength had drained from her body.

The truth was, no one hated that wretched yellow book more than Asla did—and her nanny had known that perfectly well.

Even though she’d memorized it at a young age, she’d grown sick of being forced to recite it aloud five times a day, every day.

She used to grumble to Lisette in secret, saying that at this rate, she’d still be reciting it in her coffin after she died.

So there was no way the nanny didn’t know.  

She chose to lie.

Asla bit her lip as she accepted the book Ian handed over at Gloria’s instruction. Her mind was a tangled mess of pain and confusion.

Gloria watched her with a sigh, as if frustrated, and pulled her hat lower to hide her face.

“Then, Duke. Would you guide me to the farthest corner of the venue? Somewhere the guests and especially Asla won’t see me? I still wish to witness my daughter’s wedding.”

‘So she stayed and watched the ceremony after all…’ 

Asla stared at Gloria, her heart heavy.

—Shhhhhhh.

A great crashing wave sounded above her, and Asla immediately looked up.

A vast surge of divine blue water was rushing toward her, as clear and deep as the sky itself.

It was the call of god.

The dream was ending.

Time to return to reality.

Asla quietly closed her eyes.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Um… Duke?”

Enoch had been sitting blankly, staring at Asla’s empty room ever since May reported early that morning that she had gone to see Gloria.

Knowing he hadn’t slept all night, May had offered a heartfelt suggestion.

“My lady said she’ll be back soon. Please, just get a little rest. I’ll let you know as soon as she returns.”

Enoch took one slow look around Asla’s room—now occupied only by May—then silently turned and walked back to his own.

He had reserved both of the hotel’s only two suites. Now, belatedly, he regretted insisting on separate rooms.

‘Sigh…’

It wasn’t exhaustion that kept him from responding to May properly—it was pure shock.

Enoch had stayed up all night on purpose.  

He’d planned to quickly take care of urgent work and then eat with Asla once she got up late in the morning.

When he saw the room empty, his first thought had been that she’d gone to the Temple of the Oracle alone to confront them—and he’d panicked.

But as it turned out—fortunately or unfortunately—Asla had gone to see Gloria Sherita instead.

Enoch rubbed his eyes and dropped into the library chair in his suite, leaning his head back.

The bright morning sunlight slicing through the window made him squint, and he slowly closed his eyes.

“…Why her, of all people?”

His brow furrowed as he shut his eyes.

He knew well enough that Asla and her mother didn’t have a close relationship.

Gloria had explained that herself many times.

She was strict and traditional, yes, but not particularly flawed.  

So why Asla held such deep resentment toward her was a mystery Enoch could never quite solve—but even so, he had always wanted to respect Asla’s feelings on the matter.

‘I don’t really know what it’s like… to have a mother.’

Enoch had lost his own mother when he was very young.

Since he’d never experienced a strained mother-child relationship, he couldn’t pretend to understand what it was like for Asla.

Even so, he hadn’t been able to ignore Gloria—especially not after the fall of the Holy Kingdom had left her with no support, living a meager, lonely life.

A mother who had wanted her daughter to marry for love…  So opposed their union.

Though he had only agreed to the marriage because of a pledge made to Emperor Rosenberg for the future of the Empire, Enoch had still been shaken when he heard Asla was afraid of him.

She was more beautiful and dignified than the radiant gold wedding gown she wore that day—so why would she fear him?

Her fear had hurt him.

He’d ended up being cold to her in return, cruel even, speaking in a cutting tone without thinking.

He immediately regretted it.

He had meant to apologize as soon as the wedding banquet ended, but an urgent summons from the Emperor had forced him to leave for the capital at once.

‘I explained the situation in a letter, apologized, and even received a reply saying it was okay… but that wasn’t from Asla at all, was it?’

Enoch let out a pained groan, recalling the worn, exhausted look in Asla’s eyes when she faced him.

There was no doubt about it now.

Asla had known nothing.

“…Damn it.”

Cursing under his breath, Enoch clenched his fist and slammed it down on the armrest.