Chapter 120

From the very first moment Kang Lee-Jae met the King, she knew.

Getting deeply involved with that man would spell trouble for her life.

Even though she came to love him so deeply, the ominous feeling that she might one day die never left her.

Whether she held herself back or braced herself, all that happened was her feelings grew stronger and stronger.

It was never a question of if, only when that moment would arrive.

So then, what was she supposed to have done?

Since she had sensed she might die, should she have tried harder to avoid him?

Should she have turned away from someone who kept reaching out to her?

Should she have kept pushing away those kind, steady hands that had held her so gently?

Not once had her heart ever wanted to do that.

She wanted to be with Roderick.

Her gaze, fixed on the guardian spirit, was calm and resolute.

“How many times do you think I’ve been told I would die? Do you know how carefully I’ve lived my life?”

– ………

“But having lived like that—what did I even leave behind in my past life?”

There’s a saying in the world: If you’ll regret it either way, better to do it and regret it later.

Because humans couldn’t always predict or calculate which choice is right.

But what Lee-Jae wanted to say to the Boy King was far simpler than that.

There was a clear failure before her now, and she wasn’t some fool who couldn’t do the math.

She could see where it would lead.

Her one and only regret wasn’t that she had made the wrong choice.

It was that she had kept ignoring what her heart truly wanted.

She had always known what she wanted.

And the only person who could truly recognize that desire—was herself.

“You’re right. The natural order was always meant to be this unyielding.”

— Yes.

“But in this world, there are people like Hailey—who bet everything on even the slimmest chance.”

— ……

“I won’t dare say now that I can do it. No more bold claims. Because honestly… I’m not confident.”

— ……

“But even so—this is what I want to do.”

The moment she spoke those words calmly, a bell rang sharply in her mind.

Lee-Jae knew what that was.

It was the sound of her life beginning to collapse.

But this was how she had always wanted to live.

Follow Your Heart.

That’s what the world told her and that’s what she wanted to do.

“Even if I fail, I won’t resent anyone. Not a single person.”

— ……

“Even if this ruins my life… please, let me be the one who ruins it by my own will.”

She had never dreamed of a success that would earn applause from others anyway.

There were far more people in the world who clapped at others’ failures, and she never wanted to be caught up in that.

But if there was even one person out there who was struggling too much—

She wanted to say, “Then take comfort in my failure.”

What truly tormented her now wasn’t the fear of failure itself.

It was the dread that her failure might make all those behind her look like losers too.

Just as she was about to reach toward the barrier again, she turned and looked behind her.

The King was watching her with eyes full of unease—utterly anxious, not knowing what to do.

So were the knights standing around him.

They were all restless, afraid their King might dash in at any moment.

And as Lee-Jae kept looking, Roderick mouthed something to her.

‘Why?’

Lee-Jae. Why are you hesitating? Hm?

As he, as always, reached out to her with words, Lee-Jae responded with a much more at-ease smile.

The King had once thought that even if he couldn’t see into Lee-Jae’s heart, he could still feel it.

And Lee-Jae had thought the same.

Even if he couldn’t hear her voice, he would see it in her eyes.

So she shaped the words with her lips, just like the King had once done—

For the first and perhaps the last time.

‘Roderick.’

Don’t lose this battle. You must win.

Because I’ve always believed in you. Always loved you.

She blinked hard, sealing her resolve, and turned to the barrier again.

And with unwavering determination, she began to chant the invocation.

“Bravery in solitude. The courage to stand alone against many. Face death if you must—but never falter when it’s for others.”

At that moment, a thin stream of blood trickled from the corner of her lips.

But the barrier did not break.

Still, she continued chanting without pause, rolling the prayer beads around her wrist.

“Once in an age, one is born with immense power. That one is called the King of Humankind. All auspicious forces protect him—so none of you shall ever bring him harm.”

Lee-Jae kept pouring her energy into the barrier.

But despite her efforts, a bitter smile crept across her lips.

So it really is a place to die, just like the Boy King had warned.

She needed to focus—but a strange regret flashed through her mind like a phantom memory.

Like a life flashing before her eyes.

Lee-Jae had always known the King disliked it,

Yet she would still bring up “the forty-nine days” from time to time.

It hadn’t been a joke.

She had truly, deeply sensed she was going to die.

Forty-nine days—that was the traditional time it took for a soul to leave this world after death.

But could a person really be this foolish?

She regretted it now.

If she had to die, maybe she should’ve at least stayed by his side.

Maybe then, she could leave this world with a little more peace.

She didn’t want to see him lonely.

It couldn’t be helped, but still—she hoped he wouldn’t grieve too much.

But now, she could feel it.

The spells she knew were running out.

Like the barrier in front of her, she too had hit her limit.

With a pained expression, she lowered her gaze.

“What do I do…? I must’ve spoken too much over the years. There’s nothing left for me to bring out anymore. I can’t think of anything.”

The Boy King silently watched her.

Then, he slowly shook his head and spoke, his voice quiet and calm.

— No, Kang Lee-Jae. There is still something left for you to bring forth.

— It’s inside you.

Lee-Jae looked up at him in a daze.

Then she quietly stared down at the bracelet in her hand.

She understood what he meant.

She had always carved her tools, prepared her charms, crafted her relics.

Because she believed they would help her survive. That they would make up for what she lacked.

But her true weapon had never been a bracelet or a talisman.

It was her heart.

Tattered and worn from being trampled so many times—

Yet still precious enough that she had held it close, kept it hidden.

And if that was all she had left to give—then she would lay it bare, without hesitation.

Lee-Jae lowered the prayer beads from her hand.

She set down the quiver from her shoulders.

She discarded the talismans tucked in her robe.

Now reaching for the barrier with nothing but her bare self, her body began to tremble.

But just as always, she bit down hard on her lip.

This was Kang Lee-Jae—raw and unarmed. Her true self.

“O God. I have hated people with all my heart.”

When the children threw stones at me, it truly hurt.

But what hurt even more was that I still wanted to sit among them.

That made me feel utterly pathetic.

I asked myself every night why it had to be this way.

I scrubbed my hands over and over again.

But in the end, I realized—there had never been a real reason for their cruelty.

And once I realized that…

I came to hate the world. And people.

There are times when hating someone is the only way to survive.

That’s why… I understand anger.

Some days, I heard horrible things from kids my own age.

Those days, I hated being an orphan.

But the next day, I would see one of those kids going through something terrible.

And on those days, I hated my spiritual sight too.

Life was so endlessly painful, I often just wanted to cry alone.

So I would go to the playground at night.

But one day… there was already someone there.

An adult, far larger than me, sobbing quietly in the dark.

That had always been my spot.

I only watched from a distance… but that moment left a deep scar on me.

That even adults carry deep wounds.

That even adults cry like that.

And once I realized that—

It felt like the whole world was crumbling around me.

Becoming a steady, unshakable adult had been my only hope as a child.

But here’s the strange part—

That same adult who cried like a child was, the next morning, walking through the streets smiling.

Greeting people with kindness, offering cheerful hellos.

I still wanted to curse the world.

I still couldn’t stop seeing things in a twisted light.

But even I couldn’t deny it—

That person’s smile… was more beautiful than mine.

“I only wanted to cheer for that smile. To applaud it. Because that’s all I could do to help.”

That’s the only reason I threw myself into this lonely battlefield.

And if I may dare to say so—

Loving someone was never more wretched than pretending to hate the world, just to seem flawless.

And after that… the world I saw before me became so much more beautiful.

O God.

If even this feeling is wrong—then strike me down. I’ll accept it.

You, who have watched me kneel and beg in humiliation so many times, you must know me well.

But for this truth—this one truth—

I will not kneel, even to you.

“I love the people standing behind me. With all my heart.”

Lee-Jae slammed her hand against the barrier with everything she had, trying to sever the flow of energy.

In that instant, pain like her hand was being burned alive seared through her.

A surge of dark, crimson blood burst from her lips.

It was divine punishment—

the wrath that falls on one who defies the will of heaven.

The cost a mere human must pay for refusing to accept a fate already set.

But Kang Lee-Jae did not stop.

She poured out her energy relentlessly, and one by one, she spoke the most beautiful words she knew—not to be drowned by malice, but like a song.

“Star. Dawnlight. Poetry.”

A friend who worried for you in the deep of night.

Eyes. Concern. Comfort.

Lee-Jae gave her whole heart—nothing held back, no hesitation.

And as blood kept pouring from her mouth, a commotion broke out behind the ranks.

The King was the one who could read his wife’s lies better than anyone.

He always had.

He was the first to sense that Lee-Jae was hiding something.

The first to know she wasn’t Hailey.

He had felt something was off for some time—but the moment she called his name, he knew.

That was a farewell.

And a fierce storm of emotion erupted in his chest.

You… you promised you wouldn’t lie to me again.

And now you’re doing it with your life?

Knowing what you mean to me?

How could you… How could you do this to me?

Is this how you answer my faith in you—my love? With your death?

The King tried to run to her immediately.

But the problem was—he wasn’t the only one who realized it was her last words.

The chaos grew worse.

“Let go!”

“Your Majesty, no!”

“I said let go of me!”

“Your Majesty! Please!”

The King shook off the knights with terrifying strength.

His eyes blazed with fury—like a wild beast.

The knights faltered, backing away. But not the Commander.

Jade was one of the few who could sense the danger in the air.

He could feel that the Queen—always calm, always composed—was doing something reckless now.

The King looked Jade in the eyes and shouted:

“Are you telling me to stand here and watch my wife die?!”

“Your Majesty—no, Roderick. You can’t. It’s too dangerous. If you go in there… you really might die.”

Jade pleaded, desperation in his voice.

But there was no hesitation in the King’s gaze.

“I know. But in that dangerous place, my wife is dying alone.

The woman who shines brighter than my entire life—alone!”

That child, who used to always say being alone was the worst thing…

Now she’s shouldering everything again, fading away like some noble light.

“Jade. I have to go. I have to be with her. I have to protect her!”

Jade had no choice but to release his grip on his friend’s arm.

And the King—Roderick—charged forward, straight toward Lee-Jae.