Chapter 110
It was well past midnight when the King finally fell into a deep sleep.
Sliding a pillow under him in place of her lap, she quietly slipped out of bed.
As Lee-Jae carefully opened the door, dozens of eyes turned toward her.
“Your Majesty the Queen, do you need anything?”
“No, I just can’t sleep, so I was going to the library.”
“…Is His Majesty asleep?”
“Mm, he just fell asleep.”
Fully stepping into the hallway, she gently closed the door she had been holding.
As Lee-Jae began walking, a few knights and maids, having exchanged glances, followed behind her.
It was such a late hour that she waved them off.
“You don’t need to come. It’s just around the corner.”
It really was just a short walk down the hallway.
But the knights looked troubled.
“To be honest, His Majesty doesn’t like it when Your Majesty moves around alone.”
“……”
“In any case, whether we stand guard here or there, it makes no difference to us. Please don’t worry.”
There was nothing dangerous in the palace aside from ghosts, but Lee-Jae gave a bitter smile and nodded.
The knights accompanied her just a few dozen steps and then lined up in front of the library.
Once the maids had lit every single candle and quietly withdrawn, Lee-Jae was finally able to sit at the desk.
She pulled Hailey’s diary, which had been pushed to one side, close to her chest.
Lee-Jae found herself even more engrossed in the diary than before.
Because she had found a note Hailey had added as an afterthought.
Human time flows in order, but records can move beyond that sequence—
Just like the way a seer’s time weaves through the present and the future.
But even that anticipation was slowly turning into the emotion of resignation.
Starting from Hailey’s diary entries at age fourteen,
Lee-Jae had been reading through several years’ worth of journals.
She had scoured them until her eyes ached, but no further clues were to be found.
Hailey had only left that single additional note.
Even so, Lee-Jae couldn’t put the diary down.
It wasn’t to piece together the fragmented memories of a soul that had left its body.
It wasn’t even to find clues.
It was because she cared.
Hailey’s everyday life, her way of thinking,
What she loved, who hurt her,
Her most cherished days.
Not Hailey Duncan the Seer,
But her—just one human being.
And when we truly want to know someone,
When we strive to reach their world, people inevitably offer each other the truths of life like a gift.
「January 8, 496
Today, I read the essay ‘The Value of Silence’ again.
To be honest, that piece always leaves me feeling conflicted.
Because I don’t believe silence is always the best answer.
Even so, I rarely say, “I don’t like this.”
Maybe because that phrase was never accepted at home.
Words are for those willing to engage in conversation.
Someone’s silence might be a sign of maturity, but I’m not a mature person.
Sometimes, silence feels a lot like giving up.」
“Hailey, you really weren’t a terrible writer after all.”
Lee-Jae murmured to herself.
As she aged, her writing had grown more fluid and graceful.
Hailey had only written sparingly during the last three years of her life.
Lee-Jae kept turning the pages of the diary.
「February 14, 496
A new dessert shop opened in the capital.
The maids had been whispering about it for a while now.
There isn’t a single maid who doesn’t know I love sweets.
After finishing my meal, I snuck out alone into the streets, only to be met by a long line.
Standing ahead of me was a man with a sword at his hip—he, too, seemed overwhelmed by the size of the crowd.
I worried about getting scolded when I got home, and my legs hurt, but I endured it all, hoping the line would shorten soon.
And just when there was only one person left in front of me, I saw there was only one cake left in the display case.
Well, I thought here, that some days are just like this.
But the man who was about to place his order looked a bit awkward,
And then turned around.
I quickly bowed my head,
But maybe I hadn’t managed to hide the disappointment on my face.
He looked at me, smiled gently, and quietly walked out of the shop.
Embarrassingly enough, the last remaining cake became mine.
Who was he?
That kind knight.
If I go back to the shop… would I see him again?」
“Lawrence. Right, you met him for the first time when you were eighteen, didn’t you? You were so cute back then.”
Lee-Jae said, calling her “cute”—
Even as tears welled endlessly in her eyes.
The corner of the page was slightly crumpled.
Because of that, Lee-Jae could understand, even if just a little,
How heartbroken Hailey must have been when she reread this entry.
She took a deep breath, trying hard to calm the emotion swelling inside her.
She even closed her eyes for a moment to settle her emotions down.
And then—when Lee-Jae opened her eyes again and turned another page,
She found a very thin sheet of paper tucked between the pages.
As if someone had tried to hide it.
“What’s this…”
Lee-Jae tilted her head and carefully took out the paper.
「To you, who is reading this.
Hello.
You probably don’t know me, and I feel a little embarrassed calling you my friend all on my own.
But now that I’m really thinking of dying, I feel scared and lonely.
If this upsets you, I’m sorry.
Still… if you truly wanted to know me,
If you don’t hate me too much, then maybe, one day, you would find this letter too.」
As soon as Lee-Jae read those lines, she knew—like a gut instinct.
This was a letter Hailey had written to her, right before she died.
While crying, longing for the happiest moments of her life.
「It’ll be a long and boring story, but I’ll spill it here anyway.
You know… at some point, I started dreaming every single night without fail.
Usually, I saw what would happen the next day,
But sometimes, I’d see things a month into the future.
Sometimes it all appeared in a single night’s dream,
And on some nights, I saw scenes from a whole year later.
People don’t realize that a single day—
The day after tomorrow—can be far more important than what happens a whole year later.
And when I realized these weren’t just dreams, I started to feel greedy.
A desire to change the bad future.
But even when the process changed, the outcome rarely did.
Once I understood that, I stopped wanting to say anything.
No, it wasn’t that—I couldn’t say anything.
I must seem so strange and foolish, don’t I?」
Lee-Jae shook her head over and over. No. Not at all. You’re not strange. You’re not foolish.
The hand holding the letter had started to tremble—soft, delicate tremors.
「Father used to say this from time to time:
That our Duncan family had always stood at the heart of history, and had always made the right choices.
When I began dreaming, I understood what he meant.
But… Father was wrong.
In the past—
In the fixed future seen by the Seer—
There was no image of Duncan at all.
So did I do something wrong?
At some point, the dreams started to scare me.
Father grew greedy for a royal marriage,
And I… I saw a future so full of despair.
Because of a terrible deed Father commits, our family gets annihilated. Me included.
His Majesty is afflicted with madness.
He’s truly frightening.
But even he suddenly dies one night.
Then Cayenne falls into civil war and foreign war—at the same time.
The one I love… dies in that war.」
Lee-Jae understood what the “terrible deed” meant.
The King discovered the Duke murdered his betrotheds.
And the King’s sudden, inexplicable death…
It had to be because of the evil spirit that visited him each night.
Lee-Jae remembered what that pitch-black spirit had said:
“The King and you should’ve died long ago.”
「I had already given up long ago, but I still wanted to try changing the future again.
I could accept dying myself…
But I saw Lawrence die in such agony.
Every night, I wondered—
Should I tell Father about my ability? Should I tell him about the future?
Could his choices change fate?
And then I dreamed again.
This time, Father gives up the Royal marriage.
Our family flees into exile in Daemon.
His Majesty still dies.
War still breaks out.
Lawrence still dies.
Our family survives…
But a few years later, we’re betrayed by Daemon, and get wiped out anyway.
Still, I couldn’t give up.
So I tried another path.
Should I confess everything to Lawrence and beg him to run away with me?
But then I dreamt we got caught before we even crossed the border.
Everything played out the same.
In the end, I couldn’t even be honest with Lawrence.
Because it was like saying this:
No matter what I do—
Lawrence, His Majesty, and I will all die.
Our family will fall.
The war will come.
This future… is unchangeable.
I gave up on everything.
I fell into despair.
All I did was resent it all.
Because how could I choose any of the three options?
I never asked for this ability—not even once.」
That despair reached Lee-Jae fully, deeply.
Hailey.
That was the current that cut through your life.
Something that you could never escape.
Was this the will of heaven?
Lee-Jae’s hand wouldn’t stop trembling.
「But you know… a few days ago, I had another dream.
I was crying by the river and threw myself in.
People came to save me.
But when I woke up in my room,
I instinctively knew—that wasn’t me.
It was the first time.
Like everything was shrouded in fog—
From that moment on, I couldn’t see anything anymore.
And along with that, the situations surrounding everyone around me became uncertain too.
Do you… do you understand what that means?
How the future, once so clear and full of despair, becomes hopeful the moment you can’t see even an inch ahead?
I don’t know if this is the right path.
Honestly, I feel like I’m just passing all this pain onto you, and I’m truly, truly sorry.
It’s only natural if you resent and hate me.
But if you’re reading this…
Could you please forgive me—just a little?
Even just a little…
Between a future that’s certain but can’t be changed, and a dangerous path that might change something…
I chose the sliver of possibility.
I know it was foolish.
But I hope, at least you—
Please try to understand me.
Good luck, to the one who shall surpass me.」
Lee-Jae laid the letter down on the desk and buried her face in her hands.
Tears streamed silently down her cheeks.
“Hailey… I’m sorry… hic… I’m so sorry.”
For not understanding.
For not finding her sooner.
She should never have died so pitifully. So alone and lonely.
Lee-Jae wept quietly through the night—
Until the first light of dawn broke the horizon.
Comments for chapter "Chapter 110"
DISCUSSION
Leave a Reply
1 Comment
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
mochi13
omg haileyyy my shaylaaa