Chapter 28

“I usually sleep turned to my left.”

That was something Aivert already knew.  

The problem was—if she turned to her left, then by the direction of the cuffs, he would inevitably be the one lying there.

“And?”

Even then, Aivert could hold it together.

He knew Rodella trusted him with that infuriating, unwavering belief—  

That of course he wouldn’t ever do anything to her.  

So absolute, it could drive a man insane.  

But still—he couldn’t betray that trust.

That much, he could endure.

But then—

“I usually sleep hugging something. A stuffed animal. Or the bed rail if there’s nothing else.”

Just a sleep habit.  

Rodella said it so casually, as if it were the most trivial thing.

Aivert’s mind went blank for a second.

…Was she talking about that teddy bear he saw the other day?  

That one wouldn’t even fit on the bed now.  

With the handcuffs already forcing them to sleep side by side, trying to wedge anything in between would only crush one of their arms.

“…So tonight, the teddy bear—or the bed rail—is going to be me?”

Rodella gave a firm nod.

“Probably. Just letting you know so you’re not surprised.”

Surprise wasn’t the issue here…

Same bed.  

Can’t react.  

Can’t even look at her for too long.

…How?

This was the moment Aivert realized:  

His real trial had only just begun.

* * *

To be trusted by someone is, generally, a good feeling.  

But Aivert… didn’t want to be trusted like this.

“It’s not like you’d do anything to me, right?”

So said Rodella, lying down on the bed without a hint of hesitation.  

He had nothing to say to that.

Yeah, sure. He wouldn’t.  

Of course not. But—

“….”

It was the going-crazy part that was the problem.

From beside him came soft, steady breathing.

“Then I’m sleeping, okay?”

Rodella sounded completely relaxed.

“At least I can turn off the lights now. Since you’re next to me.”

She had always feared the dark—especially in unfamiliar places.  

He knew she’d been sleeping with the lights on ever since she came to the Azure Knights.  

But tonight, she looked visibly relieved, even lying in the darkness of a strange room.

Like she knew nothing would happen.

Within just a few minutes, she was already fast asleep.  

He knew she fell asleep quickly. He knew that.  

But still—you…—

Too many thoughts crowded his head all at once, to the point where it nearly exploded.

Truthfully, the moment the cuffs clicked onto their wrists, Aivert had wondered if he’d made a mistake.

But on the way back—when he found himself ‘accidentally’ stuck to her—he’d suddenly thought:

…Maybe it’s not so bad.

Whatever inconveniences came with it didn’t matter.  

If she was uncomfortable, he could adjust for her.  

He was willing to put up with all of it—just to be near her.

Just the fact that he now had a natural excuse to stay by her side 24/7—  

That alone made it feel worth it.

He couldn’t say this out loud—he could imagine too clearly the face Rodella would make if he did.

“You like this…?”

He sighed, dragging a hand over his face, stunned at his own thoughts.

He did like it.

That was the problem.

Sleep? There was no chance.

Meanwhile, from right next to him…

―kooo…

Came the sound of Rodella’s soft breathing.

She was more deeply asleep than ever.

Then—

“Mm…”

Apparently registering him as her makeshift teddy bear, Rodella slowly pulled his arm toward her.

Her breathing grew even closer.

…How can you sleep next to me like this?

Of course, Aivert knew the answer.

Because the way they looked at each other was different.

He’d known since long ago.

Since those days attending the academy.  

Since the day she took his hand.

Aivert recalled his childhood.

“Don’t come near me. I… I…”

He’d grown up believing he was a curse.

Everything he touched broke—servants of his household avoided him like he was contagious.  

At first, it made him angry.  

Later, he simply blamed himself.

Everyone else could control their power. Only he couldn’t.

They said he was born with excessive internal energy—too much raw force scattered through his body.  

They said it was a gift.  

The kind of aura that knights would train for years to achieve—he was simply born with it.

A gift, they said.

But all it ever did was take people away from him.

Even the day he was admitted to the academy, he was afraid.

“Is that the boy from House Royden…?”  

“Gods, let’s hope nothing explodes.”

The rumors were constant.  

Because of his absurd “talent,” he heard them all—whether he wanted to or not.

Plagued by power he never asked for, Aivert eventually gave up on trying to live a normal life at the academy.

“Still, you need to meet people.”

His mother had sent him there, saying he couldn’t stay locked in the estate forever.  

But she didn’t know that he’d already given up on forming relationships.

He had steeled himself. Sat in his seat on the first day, emotionally detached.

Then—

“Hah… Hah…!”

A girl who barely made it in before she was marked tardy plopped into the seat beside him.

That same girl—Rodella—rumors would later claim she sat next to him to curry favor with the duke’s family.

Complete nonsense, of course.

Though she could be quick-tempered, she never once left his side.  

Instead, she taught him how to control his strength.

“I’ll bring something sturdier. Wait here.”

She started with things like metal sword hilts, teaching him not to crush them.  

Then moved on to hard woods, softer woods, cloth—gradually bringing materials of decreasing durability from who-knew-where.

“Did you have the same problem?”

He asked once, curious because she was so good at teaching.  

Young Rodella had just laughed, waving a hand.

“Nah, I don’t have talent like yours. But I try to think from your perspective. For you, the world probably feels like pudding, right?”

Then the solution was simply to teach him how to handle pudding.

Aivert couldn’t take his eyes off her when she said that.

On the day he was disqualified from the swordsmanship test for accidentally breaking the hilt—

“Ugh, let’s forget it and go hang out!”

She had grabbed his hand—without hesitation—and dragged him out to the night market near the academy.

“W-Wait, your hand! It’ll break!” he cried out, panicked.

“It won’t. I trust you. Now let’s go!”

She trusted him more than he trusted himself.  

And from that day on, Aivert could no longer take his eyes off her.

He had no choice but to love her.

“……”

From that day until now, everything in his life had started revolving around her.

Even being called the black sheep of House Royden—refusing the Royden “way”—  

Even becoming the Duke and seizing control of that very household—  

Even joining the Azure Knights, and turning it into the “best and worst possible workplace” just for her—

It had all been for her.

If he’d stayed beside her wielding the power of a noble house, she would never have been able to live the self-made life she longed for.  

So the further he kept himself from her, the better.

Aivert had willingly hidden all his prestige, all his true nature.  

He waited—for her to look his way.

But now—

“Hah.”

A short breath escaped him—barely audible, caught in the back of his throat.  

He didn’t even dare exhale properly, worried it would wake her.

Instead, he threw an arm over his eyes.

But still—his wildly pounding heart felt loud enough to shake the room.  

Even holding his breath wasn’t enough to quiet it.

Because no matter how much he silenced his body…his heart and mind wouldn’t stop.

If anything, everything sounded louder in the dark.

And so—he ended up staying awake throughout the entire night.